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Thread: To you "girl magnets" out there.

  1. #1
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    To you "girl magnets" out there.

    From a male to other males, rather than from a female to males.

    Are you the kind of guy that attracts multiple attractive women, the kind of girls that nearly every guy wants, and some being ones you actually liked? If yes, then I want my following questions to be answered by you. How does it feel? Is it a good feeling that you wish would last forever? Is it a euphoric comforting high? Have you caused a stunning girl to come out of her indestructible shell to hit on you or ask you out?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Arcanide View Post
    From a male to other males, rather than from a female to males.

    Are you the kind of guy that attracts multiple attractive women, the kind of girls that nearly every guy wants, and some being ones you actually liked? If yes, then I want my following questions to be answered by you. How does it feel? Is it a good feeling that you wish would last forever? Is it a euphoric comforting high? Have you caused a stunning girl to come out of her indestructible shell to hit on you or ask you out?
    1. Yes, depending to my level of overall happiness/no need for external validation/confidence, but overall, 70 to 80 % of the time, yes, unless I am specifically unhappy about something.

    2. It does not feel much. You are your normal male self, you go about your business in life, obviously women find you attractive because... you are male, you have a penis, you have an internal locus of control, you derive your happiness from within rather than without, all of which are things that women lack and want badly from men.

    3. The feeling is good and it does last forever, unless and until you start looking outside for sources of happiness, like the validation you get when a female "approves of you" by giving you attention. If you crave attention, you will likely not get it. Usually, the moment you start thinking you need something external to be fulfilled, it all perishes.

    Paradoxically, the more narcissistic and egocentric you get, the more attractive you become. In the sense, of course, that you need to focus on making yourself happy first, and only then can you pass the feeling on to another.

    4. Yes, I have women pursue me, some of them take the initiative as well, not very often though. Usually, they get all tense and in-their-head, controlling their body language and verbals so as "not to screw this up" and remain "cool" (which in their mythology is equal to attractive, high-status, etc.) If you don't know what is going on, it is easy to interpret this as her "not liking you".

    If you take it as "her not liking you" you will likely lose interest and move on, and she will post on a forum like this one here a thread "he was into me and then he stopped, why oh why???"

    On the other had, if she is all happy and relaxed around you, like totally unstifled, she sees you as a brother or a gay friend more than a sexual interest.

    The indestructible shell is a variant of what I have written above, it is usually BS, IMHO and based on my experience so far.

    Then again, I am sure there are more experienced guys around and I'd sure love to hear their take on this.

  3. #3
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    This happened to me for most of my High school life, and to a less extent, in my later life. I am extremely quiet and shy and yet I see girls giggling at me and so on, In high school it was so intense that I could hardly study and I tried to ignore them because I did not like the girls in that country. Something like 70% were interested in me. I recall people telling me i'm cute and whether I have a girlfriend, and some shocked as to why I still do not have a girlfriend. I'm 29 now. But the thing is no girl would approach you no matter how attractive you are, if you are ignoring them, seeming very shy and quiet, or with no friends. But later in life, girls did approach me and I still ignored them. Reason why is explained in one of my earlier posts.
    It is a good feeling, feeling of being unique and special, realizing that you are born lucky. For me, it is flattering to be liked by a hot girl. And because I have certain principles, I may never get a girlfriend.
    Pressurized monkeys

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    I'm no "hunk", but I've never had any problems whatsoever getting with a woman I'm interested in, and the more I think about it, the more I realize that every relationship happened because the partner was actually fighting over me with another woman. I've never been shot down, and I usually get intimate immediately or very quickly.

    However, I would agree that part of it is just being very narcissistic and arrogant at times. Albeit with a hefty dose of self-irony and humor. But it's clear to women that I'm confident, I don't hesitate, and I go "for the kill" so-to-speak. I guess that radiates sometimes.

    Anyway, I'd say I rather enjoy the feeling too much sometimes, I don't do one-nighters anymore, I rarely did anyway, but I do enjoy having my ego patted by a woman walking up to me and actively flirting. However, did that make me "happy"? Did I want it to never go away? No and no. I was not happy with my life, and getting female attention distracts and helps, but doesn't make you happy with yourself in the end. I'd rather I'd been single for some years when I was a bit younger, just like I'd been for the past year or so, and figured out stuff for myself instead of being involved with women nonstop for 7, 8 years and ending up worse for it. They were wonderful experiences at times and helped shape who I am today, but I definitely fell short on developing myself.

    So no, it's not "the best feeling in the world". It's nice at times, and when you're in the mood. But it doesn't solve your life problems or take care of anything.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Arcanide View Post
    From a male to other males, rather than from a female to males.

    Are you the kind of guy that attracts multiple attractive women, the kind of girls that nearly every guy wants, and some being ones you actually liked? If yes, then I want my following questions to be answered by you. How does it feel? Is it a good feeling that you wish would last forever? Is it a euphoric comforting high? Have you caused a stunning girl to come out of her indestructible shell to hit on you or ask you out?
    Dunno if I'd call myself a "girl magnet" or not (my wife says I am), but I get flirted with a lot. I could pull a lot if I wanted to, but I don't.

    Honestly, to me it's a fleeting and pleasant ego boost. It's good to know that I've still "got it" at my age. It's especially gratifying when my 21 year old son (who looks just like me but taller) is with me and it's me they flirt with.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sixpacj View Post
    you derive your happiness from within rather than without, all of which are things that women lack and want badly from men.
    Not all women lack that thing.

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    I'm telling you, the amount of inane sexist statements around here is starting to get to me..

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    Quote Originally Posted by miffy View Post
    I'm telling you, the amount of inane sexist statements around here is starting to get to me..
    Yeah... that set my teeth on edge too.

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    you derive your happiness from within rather than without, all of which are things that women lack and want badly from men.
    And you wonder why women frequent the "Ask a Male" subforum.. One reason is so we can correct erroneous generalizations like yours.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wakeup View Post
    And you wonder why women frequent the "Ask a Male" subforum.. One reason is so we can correct erroneous generalizations like yours.
    There is little in the way of erroneousness in my statement, one thing I should have written was prolly "most" before "women", this way you'd have taken less offence.

    Now down to the nitty gritty:

    1. Women go to clubs to get their emotional state from the ambient lights, music, etc., be stimulated by the emotional atmosphere, they can be quite hooked on this. I know a lot of my female friends do this, and have described it this way. I know virtually no male who has such feelings, but maybe I still get to meet one.

    2. Women decorate their flats/rooms, choose colours, decorations, accessories. They get their emotional state from their environments, in the sense that if there is something dirty around, they feel dirty themselves. I think you women on here will agree (e.g. like when men do not take garbage out). Therefore, women's places are usually "cute", pleasant, soothing, calming...Men do not feel that way. Men can live in a pigsty and be happy. Why? Cause they depend less on the outside environment for their emotional state.

    3. Women flee social situations where the emotional vibe changes to awkward. Actually, there is nothing women seem to abhor more than social awkwardness (cause it causes them to feel awkward themselves). This is by no means an "erroneous generalisation", but an established fact. Again, I am pretty sure, women here will agree.

    Men do not do such things. Men's emotional state is less dependent on the environment.

    4. Therefore, because women's emotional state is more dependent on the outside than men's, in general terms and there are always exceptions, if you're a man with rocksolid mental state, you're happy, stable, and your moods do not swing much, you will be for her a beacon of stability in which she can trust. She will feel your stable happiness, her mirror neurons will pick up on this and she will start feeling stable and happy herself. This is something that women go crazy about, in my experience so far and the experience of other men and women I have talked to so far.

    This is what the OP asked about.

    Now, all of you who feel you have to police this thread lest "politically incorrect" information be provided, what is wrong with the above?

    Are you questioning that women pick up on external emotional vibes/moods more than men? Really?

    Are you questioning that women take greater care to feel good in a nice environment (flat/room/house)? Really?

    Are you questioning that women crave strong, stable, internally happy, purpose-driven (i.e. they adapt reality to their objectives, not the other way round) men? Really?

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by miffy View Post
    I'm telling you, the amount of inane sexist statements around here is starting to get to me..
    Would you mind elucidating upon what "sexist" statements you have found?

    And this coming from a person who has no problem promoting male-bashing stereotypes when it suits him/her?

    Will you find in my statements something to the effect "more women are douchebags than men" ? You had no problem writing "more men are douchebages than women", mind you. People in glass houses... , you know...
    Last edited by Sixpacj; 15-03-12 at 02:51 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by searock View Post
    Not all women lack that thing.
    True. I shoulda put "most" before "women"/"men". I though it would be construed this way. But I'll include it in future posts if I feel I have a general opinion I want to share.
    Last edited by Sixpacj; 15-03-12 at 01:37 PM.

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    I'm sorry but it is simply a fact that more men are abusive, whether emotional or physical, than women. It is in the very nature of biology and their development, and also has a lot to do with the way we raised former generations. For instance, hearing about a physically abusive father is, compared to a physically abusive mother, very common. This is all i meant to imply by my statement, as you very well know if you cared to read the context (mother/father role). Picking one point and inflating it to defend yourself is a bit weak imo.

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    It isn't biological.

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    It is in a way, since a tendency to violence is a built-in function of the male hormone, for instance. I'm not going into details here, just saying there is a background to this and it's fairly common knowledge, I'm not talking about unicorns and fairies here.

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