How do I make sure my girlfriend comes back from a break?

[brendanahlers]

Yesterday, my girlfriend decided that she needed a break for a few days, but she was still in love with me. She was crying and said she didn't want to lose me and she was sorry for doing this to me. She also said that she didn't know why she needed it, but felt like it was the best option. I simply told her that this is not what I wanted, but if it would help her then I would be more than willing to give it a try. We have been together for a year and our relationship has been flawless up until now. We are both very confused about what is happening. She agrees that I have done absolutely nothing wrong and I couldn't have been a better boyfriend. Some clues that may help: [Over the past few weeks, we have been seeing each other everyday. She seems very excited to see me for about the first 30 or so minutes that I arrive, but then that starts to fade away. She then becomes standoffish in a way and gets in a very bad mood, even when I do nothing but nice things for her.] All in all, I love her so much and the last thing I want to hear is to prepare for a breakup. She is amazing in every way and I don't want to lose her. I have been staying away and not contacting her throughout the day. Is that a good thing? What else can I do to make sure she comes back to me?

[surfhb]

I'm just telling this based on experience that this is her being nice and saying she doesn't want to be with you anymore. I know it sucks but you need to completely cut contact with her. If she truly needs a break and loves you, she will be back....promise. We've all been there so we know how you must feel right now.

Go out with friends and discuss it with them. Good luck

[searock]

I'm sorry, but based on personal experience (I was the gf acting like that), the things you described about your gf (how she gets in a bad mood after spending more than 30mins with you, how she keeps saying you are perfect and have done nothing wrong) indicate that she isn't satisfied by your relationship anymore and she doesn't know how to tell you without hurting your feelings. Now that the honeymoon phase has passed, unless something happens to "rekindle her fire" (which is unlikely, and I suggest you don't try too hard cause that 99% of the times leads to the opposite effect), she just feels way too comfortable and bored in the relationship, like there is no more passion and excitement. It has become routine. There basically is no reason for her to break up with you, apart from this - which is the most difficult thing to tell to a partner that still loves you romantically and whom you still love (even if non-romantically). If I were you, I'd wait it out until she decides the break is over, and then have an open and deep discussion about your relationship. Don't drag on the relationship even if she is no longer in love with you, it just gets worse the longer it lasts.

[brendanahlers]

Now that the honeymoon phase has passed, unless something happens to "rekindle her fire" (which is unlikely, and I suggest you don't try too hard cause that 99% of the times leads to the opposite effect), she just feels way too comfortable and bored in the relationship, like there is no more passion and excitement. It has become routine.

So how can I rekindle her fire? What kinds of things can I do to add some more excitement to our relationship?

[Dank]

Hmm out of interest do you think she might be interested in someone else?

[surfhb]

So how can I rekindle her fire? What kinds of things can I do to add some more excitement to our relationship?

You cant. Shes made up her mind....you need to stop contact and move forward. Hang out with friends and try to improve yourself (whatever ever that may be). Its a shitty feeling, i know.

[brendanahlers]

Hmm out of interest do you think she might be interested in someone else?

Definitely not interested in someone else. I know her very well and can tell when she's being less than honest. She had honest tears when we talked about all this and I'm positive that it's not the case.

[alwaystryin]

I hate to say this, but don't be so sure. Even if she had a one time encounter with someone else, it could be causing her to compare that experience with what she has with you. Either way stop contact & keep it moving. It's not fair to you either way and these situations can wind up being dragged on for way too long. Plus, as a girl I know that some girls just don't have the balls to say what's what because they feel guilty, also not fair to you.

[searock]

So how can I rekindle her fire? What kinds of things can I do to add some more excitement to our relationship?

As I said, you can't. It's not up to you and you shouldn't try to do anything or it will likely make the process even faster. Read the rest of my post.

[brendanahlers]

Ok, we are having dinner tomorrow night for our one year anniversary (not married, just dating). My question is: Should I show my sadness or should I try to be happy and act like I am fine? Also, are there some things that I should avoiding talking about that might just make the situation worse?

[Cerby]

Ok, we are having dinner tomorrow night for our one year anniversary (not married, just dating). My question is: Should I show my sadness or should I try to be happy and act like I am fine? Also, are there some things that I should avoiding talking about that might just make the situation worse?

You should show a confident person who is ready for whatever happens. You should also talk about what sparked this and why it happened, don't just let it go and act like it never happened.

Personally, I wouldn't even see her until she was ready to talk about it and make up her mind, but to each their own.


And finally, prepare for the worst, because its a definite possibility that this is the last time you'll see her in a relationship capacity.