Ugh, I want to break the No Contact rule!

[Cyberpunk85]

Long story short, my girlfriend and I have broken up and gotten back together several times over the past few weeks. The other day she sent me a text saying, "We don't have that spark," and of course it pissed me off a great deal and I replied, "Fine. Goodbye." She replied, "I only wanted attention." I broke up with her that night after she came over.

The next morning, as always when we break up, she wanted to pretend that nothing happened between us. She wanted to carry on as we always did before like breaking up didn't mean anything. I dropped her off and told her goodbye. She kept calling me for a few days like nothing happened, saying she loved me and missed me and that stuff.

Finally I was getting tired of it. I told her that if she really feels like there's nothing between us then I don't want to talk to her anymore. She replied that I was going to make her cry, and after we hung up I sent her a final text saying that I'd rather not talk to her anymore and would like to move on.

We've never actually broken up without talking to one another. Mostly, I think she's immature so I want to teach her that this is what breaking up feels like. Maybe she'll mature and realize that's she's just been acting like a teenager, and if not, then we'll move on for good.

However, I really don't want to break up with her. I'm just doing this to her because I think she takes me for granted, and of course, I need to show her the power dynamic here. I'm mostly worried that maybe she isn't going to call me anymore. She's never gone a day without calling me, even after breaking up.

Of course, contacting her is out of the question. I am not crawling back to her in any sort of way, especially with how she treats me. But I am in love with her though.

Anyway, I've been doing really well with forcing myself not to contact her, but it's getting especially hard. Mostly, I'm not feeling as confident as I used to be when I first met her. She fed me all the time and I gained a little weight. Nothing too drastic, but I noticed a difference. i've been exercising furiously for the past few days and picked up a diet, but I think if I don't get with somebody else right now then I'm going to keep feeling miserable about myself. Or even worse, I'm going to call her up and try to work things out. And then I'll never have power over the relationship again.

In the end, I would rather not talk to her again then tell her how I really feel, but I don't know. I'm not one to chase women.

[jtut21]

It's understandable how you might feel taken for granted but a relationship requires compromise from both individuals. I sense that you are stubborn which I can say because I am
stubborn myself. There are times when this character trait can be beneficial but it is not going to be to your benefit in this case. Would you rather be unhappy with the loss of the
person you love and allow yourself to be stubborn miserable or swallow your pride, tell her how you feel and make things right? Hope this helps!

Josh

[dem862]

The breakup pattern you described usually belongs to someone who likes drama and attention. It sounds like you are fed up with it. Your efforts to control her might be successful for a short period of time, but I think it would always revert to old patterns. It would also take a lot of energy on your part to maintain the stability you want. I think you did the best thing by setting some boundries. But women usually are able to recover more quickly than guys and find a new partner. You may have to suffer withdrawal for a while until you gain your confidence back and find someone you are better with. Good luck to you.