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Thread: Advice on the man i'm sleeping with...

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    Advice on the man i'm sleeping with...

    So i met this guy through some friends of mine... saw him out a few times, and then ended up going back to his house where we spent the whole night kissing in bed, but didn't have sex. The following week, he came over and i cooked him dinner with my housemates and then proceeded to spend the night with him and slept with him. Then i texted him asking if we could go for a drink... which we did and i slept with him again... He says things like "i've got so much work on at the moment... so i'm not going to be much fun" but then i've bumped into him on nights out when he said he's working... I've let him come over at 4am when he's been out before and we've had sex....He also came over this week at about 10pm sober when we had sex and then he left without staying the night... Again i bumped into him on a night out yesterday (still not knowing he'd be out) and i went back to his house and had amazing sex. I said to him "why didn't you text me to ask if i'd be out?" and he said "well... we're not in a relationship... so it didnt cross my mind.

    I suppose i'm concerned that its just sex and nothing more... i really like this guy... and i think he likes me too. He accidentally said he loved me the other night when we were drunk but i know it was an accident. He told me he's aware that he can be hot and cold cos hes scared of being close to someone... and he also told me i'm wrong to listen to the reputation he has...and that he does actually have emotions. He says things like "you're quite something" and "i like you" but it just seems so physical. i don't know what to do next.... it seems as though we never arrange to do things... we just bump into eachother at the club and end up having sex, or he comes over after he's been out... am i his **** buddy or does he like me?

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    Quote Originally Posted by jr8081 View Post
    I've let him come over at 4am when he's been out before and we've had sex....He also came over this week at about 10pm sober when we had sex and then he left without staying the night... Again i bumped into him on a night out yesterday (still not knowing he'd be out) and i went back to his house and had amazing sex. I said to him "why didn't you text me to ask if i'd be out?" and he said "well... we're not in a relationship... so it didnt cross my mind.
    am i his **** buddy or does he like me?
    well, I'd guess he's fond of you because if he's not he'd be a total sociopath to be doing what he's doing with you if he couldn't stand you.

    Yes, you're the booty call.

    If you don't want to be just booty, then you have to stop accepting the booty call and tell him that you didn't mean for this to turn into what it has and would he mind calling you and make definate plans to go out together at a decent hour.
    Last edited by Wakeup; 25-03-12 at 09:08 AM.

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    It sounds like you might be worried he is out trying to find other women to have sex with. And he probably is. There is no reason why he shouldn't. If you haven't had the 'exclusivity conversation' yet, you might want to have it now, just so you understand where you stand.

  4. #4
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    You are just the booty call. That doesn't mean he doesn't care about you, but it does mean that for the time being he's not interested in pursuing you. You are making this way too easy for him. Cool off for a while and let him come to you. If he doesn't move on to someone else.

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    He just wants sex. It pretty obvious really and, no offence, but maybe you should have asked him where it was going BEFORE letting him get in your knickers.

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    If you enjoy whatever you are getting out of this, do just that without being emotionally attached but it seems that you like him and want more than sex. In that case, stop being available for sex no matter how much you like sex and him. You will end up being hurt. Instead, look for someone who's more serious about you.
    “Really, sex and laughter do go very well together, and I wondered - and I still do - which is more important.” - Hermione Gingold-

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