Please Advise

[JohnsonROd]

I've been with this girl for 10 months now. She is the sweetest girl I've ever met (we haven't even had a single fight yet), we get along soo well, and I truely care about her very much.

However I've been having recurring doubts about the relationship for 2 reasons, 1 is that I'm young and don't want to be tied down, and secondly I've found that I haven't been as attracted to her lately.

I can't tell her that I'm not as attracted to her because it would crush her, and Im not even sure if the fact that I don't want to be tied down is a sufficient reason for her...


any advice on how to go about this?

[shafkore]

*sighs* It's definitely a toughie man. Let me tell you something from my own experience regarding the "not wanting to be tied down." I was in a relationship with a girl for a long time (maybe year or so), and yes, as you, I was a young male. I began to feel the same way -- feeling I was too young to be tied down -- knowing there were many other fish in the sea to be 'tasted.' This began to bother me. I had lots of respect for the girl, and I didn't know why I started to think this way. I began to ask myself, "why was I now starting to feel this way?" The answer came to me a while afterwards:

I was not happy with the realationship; something was missing. There is a whole lot more to a relationship then the girl/guy being super nice. If they don't stimulate you (sexually and/or intellectually) then yes, your mind is going to 'wander' and you are going to start to wonder what it would be like with other women. I think you need to ask yourself what you feel you are missing from the relationship. Then see if it can change (this may involve talking to her about it). You never know, maybe she feels the same way in some aspects.

I truly believe that if you were 100% satisfied in a relationship, the aspect of 'of not wanting to be tied down' would never enter your mind.

[IceQueen]

how old are you both?
Because if she's had a little experience dating, it won't crush her, and it'll be sufficient.

[JohnsonROd]

Thanks for both of your replies

Icequeen, We're both in our early 20's, but this is her first real relationship...

[shafkore]

Let us know what you think/do and how it goes.

[Illusional]

it's your first real with relationship? i would say just tell her that you're not feeling her as much as you did before. it will be hard, but she'll learn to deal with it and move on.

you're feeling like this because you got a taste of the cake and you are desiring more. it's only natural. raverboy