Holding hands - your story

[ninasecilia]

Hi
I was just wondering if you have a memory or a story of a time you held or touched someones hand. Can you describe the moment?

[vashti]

I touch and hold a lot of people's hands. Usually, it's because they are scared (I'm a nurse).

Occasionally, it's romantic. (I wish it were that more often. lol)

[ninasecilia]

I touch and hold a lot of people's hands. Usually, it's because they are scared (I'm a nurse).

Occasionally, it's romantic. (I wish it were that more often. lol)

Really? That is very interesting! You see, I am writing a small paper at school about the phenomenon "handholding". What is it really, and why do we do it? And I would really like to use three or four different real stories to supply and to understand, and really capture the phenomenon. It would be really cool to have one of your nursing stories (anonymous of course)! I would be sooo grateful!

If you do want to help, just try to remember and describe the moment and how you experienced this. What did you feel or think? What do you think the other person felt or thougt? Write it exactly how you want to

[vashti]

I have held a LOT of people's hands.... Here are a couple:

The inmate who was cleared for transfer back to prison. He asked me to pray with him, assuming I am Christian (I'm not, but I pretended to be, because it made him feel better.) I held his hands while he prayed and cried. I prayed (in my agnostic way) for the strength to be kind, because what he did was pretty damned awful. I believe he was genuinely sorry for what he did. People do dumb things when they are young, and live with the guilt the rest of their lives.

I held the hand of a heart failure patient as the doctor told him we were going to titrate him off the medication that was keeping his heart beating. He was not a candidate for a heart transplant, and so taking him off the medication meant he would die. He cried, and I cried with him. I was a pretty new nurse then, and I think this was when my coworkers decided they liked me. lol

I held another man's hand when he started getting that faraway look in his eyes after he had a bowel perforation. I promised him we would take care of him, and tried to comfort him as best I could, but I was more scared about his condition than I ever had been for any other patient. He ended up dying the next day.

Seriously, as a nurse, I hold people's hands nearly every single day, to comfort them or to prevent them from hurting themselves. I must have 1000 patient stories, but this one is closer to home:


My daughter had brain surgery last July, and I have never been so scared my whole life. Her surgery took about 8 hours, and they removed a golf-ball sized portion of her brain from the left frontal lobe. As a nurse, I was naturally concerned about what sort of neurological deficits she might end up with after surgery, and I never left her side once they moved her to ICU from surgery. Of course, she was heavily medicated and non-responsive, and she was so tiny and frail-looking. When she woke up the next day, she couldn't speak, but she motioned me over to her bed and pulled my face close to hers, and she kissed me. Then she took my hand in hers, and went back to sleep. I still cry when I think of it. I've never been more grateful for anything in my whole life.
(She's healthy now.)

These stories sound very dramatic, but they are true.

[haxan]

Wow vashti, what a great post. I'm so glad your daughter is healthy !

[ninasecilia]

Thank you soo much for telling your stories! Wow, It must be some really strong emotions going on in your daily life. And of course, your last story of your daughters surgery gave me goosebumps. I'm glad she is well and healthy now. How old was she when this happened?

[Mish]

That's some deep stuff Vash, I don't know how you do it!