1 year and still no "I Love You" back from my girlfriend

[c0325]

Hi All,

Due to the requests, this is Shortened Up!!! smiley

So here's the situation, i'm hoping that I can get some help/responses on this because I'm driving myself crazy with this but even worse, I could possibly be driving my girlfriend crazy as well. In summary, we've been together for 1 year and 2 weeks, I almost immediately fell in love with her, but with my own doubts and having been in a couple bad relationships before, i bit my tongue and didn't say the "magic" words until 2 months after. By this point I could safely say I knew enough about her (actions, thoughts, ways...) to back up the "rational" side of love up with the emotional side that I had already been feeling. So, yes, I said the "magic" words and as you can guess for the Post Topic, she didn't say it back. I, oddly enough, was ok with that, I got married young prior to this relationship and know what its like to have someone say it without "knowing" what it really means, feels, or does to someone. I didn't want her to say it without meaning it. I wanted to hear a sincere "I Love You" in return and nothing else, if not sincere, then just a smile will do fine. Anyhow, our relationship has grown since those first two months, did I mention she has a daughter? We now all live together, her, her wonderful daughter who I have also grown to fall in love with and even a couple pets. You'd look at us and see a true family, young (under 30, over 25), but a family none the less.

Yes, she's got baggage, psycho ex (habitual prison guy), best friends with her ex's sister and other stuff... so im sure shes got some things preventing her to be able to say the words, but at this point in our relationship, should it really be that hard for her?

So, in summary, question is this. Is there a time in a relationship where you can say "if there isn't love by now, there probably won't be? Or being that I love her, should I just wait it out in hopes I get the same in return? I don't want to go through falling so in love with someone again just to get brought down. Now especially as I'm building the bond with her daughter to...

Any advice/help is much appreciated smiley

Thank you all!

[wdfadude]

A few questions:

* Does she say "I love you" to her daughter?
* This may sound like a strange question, but does ever use the word "love" or show platonic friendship affection around her girlfriends? Does she end her conversations, text messages, Facebook comments, etc. with "luv u girl!" or "xoxo"?
* Does she SHOW you love in other ways? Do you ever catch her staring at you lovingly out of the corner of your eyes? Does she show PDA?

How you answer the above questions may indicate different things.

What you could do is start acting stand-offish. Don't be a jerk, still treat her nice, but stop being as needy and clingy. Slowly give her space. If you text or call her all the time, slooooow down that habit drastically. Stop telling her that you love her. Start acting a bit more strong and confident. Get a hobby or activity that will get you out of the house one extra day a week. Give her opportunities to wonder what's going on with you (but not suspicious like you're cheating) and make her start to miss you. When you are around her, try to remove all negativity and drama and replace it with positivity and light-heartedness. Make her look forward to being around you more.

This acting like more of a "mystery man" will make her think about you more. This will make you appear to be more of a "challenge" to her and she may start to act a bit more differently towards you, like she's vying for your attention. She may be a bit more affectionate. If she ever nags you, counter it only with confidence and wit, and wink & smile while you do it. Bottom line is, she'll start to "chase" you. Eventually, she may actually start to fall in love with you, and....perhaps verbalize it.