In love with a married woman

[tma]

I am love with a married woman. Have been seeing for a long long time. She has two kids, they were born after I got involved with her. They are not mine, but I adore them as if they were my own. I am not sure what to do now, I love her too much to leave her and walk away. She feels the same, but both of us are not sure whats the right thing to do, as far as the kids are concerned. We are adults and are responsible for our actions, but it breaks my heart to leave emotional scars on the kids due to our actions. What should I do? Walk away or force the issue (ignoring the effect on kids)?

PS: I love her so much, that if I do walk away I probably will never marry again. Also, I love her kids too, that if I do get together with her, I will not have any more kids, cause I love her kids like they are my own.

[Steve2004]

(ignoring the effect on kids)?

Dont even think about trying to ignore the kids. That's a terrible thing to do.

cause I love her kids like they are my own.

If the girl my dad was cheating on my mom with said that...i would DIE. Like..i would die of disgust.

You never told us how the relationship is between the husband and her...if you wouldn't mind clearing that up.

p.s. affairs and their participants are disgusting. i think you catch my drift.

[tma]

Dont even think about trying to ignore the kids. That's a terrible thing to do.

If the girl my dad was cheating on my mom with said that...i would DIE. Like..i would die of disgust.

If i ever wanted to ignore the kids, I would have done something long ago, please don't even think its not factor in my decision, it probably is the most important one. The kids and not my/her interests is primary for us, else I would have not even bothered to post here.

You never told us how the relationship is between the husband and her...if you wouldn't mind clearing that up.

Its ok as far as the kids are concerned, but not so good otherwise.

p.s. affairs and their participants are disgusting. i think you catch my drift.

I don't think different from you. However I can't change the past. You might think it is double standards, but I would be happy if people not pass judgements on affairs in this thread (which can be a different thread) and rather help me through this difficult phase. I hope you understand ( I do understand what ur saying).

[Laguna]

When she said the thing about her and her husband, she meant how is their relationship status. Stop bringing up the kids in everything. Tell us about her and her husband not her husband and the kids. It sounds like you love the kids more then the woman.

[Steve2004]

but I would be happy if people not pass judgements on affairs in this thread (which can be a different thread) and rather help me through this difficult phase. I hope you understand ( I do understand what ur saying).

I'm not at all trying to nag at you about this, you're considerably smarter than the last person that posted about having an affair...which i wasn't nice to them...but i did tell them the same thing i'm going to tell you..you can't just ignore the people that disagree with you, by saying you would appreciate them not posting at all...you need to hear the bad things. if you only hear from the people that are supporting you when you KNOW there's something wrong in what you're doing, you're not going to be able to make a fair decision. Need to bite the bullet and listen to people like me...lol, cuz i'm going to ***** about this stuff every time it comes up.

[tma]

I'm not at all trying to nag at you about this, you're considerably smarter than the last person that posted about having an affair...

Steve, thanks for your response. I have not read that thread, could you please point me to that, any information is good information, thanks.

which i wasn't nice to them...but i did tell them the same thing i'm going to tell you..you can't just ignore the people that disagree with you, by saying you would appreciate them not posting at all...you need to hear the bad things. if you only hear from the people that are supporting you when you KNOW there's something wrong in what you're doing, you're not going to be able to make a fair decision. Need to bite the bullet and listen to people like me...lol, cuz i'm going to ***** about this stuff every time it comes up.

I am not saying do not post "bad things", also I am not saying I only want posts supporting me. I do appreciate what your saying. What I am saying is please don't post only things critizing being in an affair. Don't know how I can make a fair (or any decision) just based on only negative posts. I think a balance in opinions would help me (ofcourse opinions against/critizing an affair will be more than others, that I do understand). I am not saying, "hey guys tell me I am right" (thats stupid and thats not the reason why I am posting here). I am saying help me out given that I am in this situation. If theres anyone out here who was in a similar situation and they can share how they went about it, that would be great. As I said in previous post and also mentioned before in my current post, I appreciate your comments, Steve.

When she said the thing about her and her husband, she meant how is their relationship status. Stop bringing up the kids in everything. Tell us about her and her husband not her husband and the kids. It sounds like you love the kids more then the woman.

No I was not just bringing the kids into everything. The response was more in tune to that post to make it clear I do care about the kids. But of course its not true I care more about them than her.
As for her realationship with her husband I should have been more clear (my apologizes), they do not have a good relationship. They have an ok relationship when seen from outside, more an appreance to make sure kids are not affected. But beyond that its a shambles.

[misombra]

I am love with a married woman. Have been seeing for a long long time. She has two kids, they were born after I got involved with her. They are not mine, but I adore them as if they were my own. I am not sure what to do now, I love her too much to leave her and walk away. She feels the same, but both of us are not sure whats the right thing to do, as far as the kids are concerned. We are adults and are responsible for our actions, but it breaks my heart to leave emotional scars on the kids due to our actions. What should I do? Walk away or force the issue (ignoring the effect on kids)?

PS: I love her so much, that if I do walk away I probably will never marry again. Also, I love her kids too, that if I do get together with her, I will not have any more kids, cause I love her kids like they are my own.

you've been having an affair with this woman long enough for her to have 2 kids? what's the husband's story??

[Steve2004]

[url]http://loveforum.net/showthread.php?t=6377&page=1&pp=15[/url]

^^that's the affair thread i was talking about...it WAS her saying she was flirting and doing stuff with a married man and wanted it to go further...and asked for advice. but..i think we got to her a little after while, and she edited her thread to make it seem like she didn't ask the question..i guess..that's what she was going for?