Girlfriends Parents

[vimto]

Hi Guys, i'm new to the forum which i found doing a little bit of googling and thought you may be able to help me.

So, the issue is my girlfriends parents! We are both 25 years old and have been together for almost two years now. We both love each other very much and most of the time everything is great!

The issue that i have is her parents! Throughout the course of our relationship, they have always asked us to do things together with them for example going to the pub, going out for meals etc. At first, i just went along it and everything was fine. About 6 months ago, her dad began working away from home. He was like 300 miles away all week, came home on friday and went back on sunday and so obviously i didn't have much of a problem with doing stuff together with them as my girlfriend didnt get to see him that much.

At around christmas time, this stopped and he began working much closer to home. The problem i have though is that now, they ask us to do something litterally every single weekend and it doesn't stop there! For example, last weekend, we went out for a meal with them on Friday night and stayed over at hers, then they were mithering to see us on saturday night, which we didnt because me and the missus wanted some time together and then they were asking to do something on sunday also which i flat out refused to do! The problem is though, my girlfriend wants to spend as much time with them as possible and is disappointed if we don't do whatever it is with them! I just don't really know what to do!

Sometimes, if i refuse, she becomes angry and then we end up arguing about it when all i want to do is spend the time with her which for some reason she cant seem to comprehend.

I have no problem doing something with them a couple of times a month but they seem to be asking nearly every day and trying to force things in weeks in advance. It feels like he thinks if he asks us early enough, we won't have anything planned and therefore have to do it!

Our relationship is quite impulsive and we don't tend to plan a lot of things and therefore when he or they ask for two weeks down the line, my girlfriend agrees and then puts me in a difficult position because i dont want to upset her but at the same time i don't want to feel like i have do this sort of thing every week!

I wouldn't mind as much, yet we hardly ever do things with my parents because all i'm really interested in is enjoying myself together with her!

I just wish they would back off a little bit! I've tried to mention this to her in the past but it doesn't particularly go down well and she gets really defensive and so i'm really stuck with what to do here! I think part of the problem is that she is extremely close to her dad. That is fine, but it feels like she can't say no to him and he knows this!

Could any of you guys advise on what would be the best course of action to take and how i can get around this?

Thanks guys, sorry for the long first post!

[vashti]

I wouldn't mind as much, yet we hardly ever do things with my parents because all i'm really interested in is enjoying myself together with her!

Jeez, speaking as he mother of a boy, I'd like to smack you in the head for this. Why do you think they say that a man marries into his WIFE'S family, and not the reverse?

I don't see anything wrong with spending time with parents, and as you get older, you will probably even appreciate having a good relationship with them (especially when you start having babies), but I don't think there would be anything wrong with telling your girlfriend you are at a time in life where you want to build intimacy with HER, and that you would like to limit visits with families to once a week.

And go see your mother! Do you have any idea what it felt like to push your big old fat head through her vagina?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Limit the visits to once a week Vashti? I think that's the exact situation he is trying to avoid.

I don't see why he should have to come along all the time if he doesn't want to. Do her parents not have any friends?

You marry into a your wife's family?? While I agree, I think it should work both ways. You're usually pretty reasonable, but that is just a dumb reason to want to smack him in the head.

[sadie_genie]

I think that it is good to build good relations with her family but the thing is someday you and her is going to have your own family. I don't think keeping some personal space with her without her family is unreasonable.

[vashti]

Don't make me smack you in the head too, backup!!! haha

I think going from Friday, Saturday, and Sunday (or nearly daily) visits down to ONLY on Sunday dinner isn't unreasonable. A lot of people in the world have a family meal once a week, and remember: these people may eventually be the ones babysitting the grandkids. There would still be 6.5 other days of the week without relatives.