Confused :( Need Help

[hopfrog]

I am in love with my one of my best friends. At least I think I am in love with her. When I first met her, I really didn't like her. She was always so
annoying. But then we got to know each other better and she sort of grew on me. Not very long after I started to get to know her, I started to think
about her romantically. Soon after, we were always together. And my feelings have done nothing but grown since then. It took me about a year to work up the courage to tell her about the feelings I had for her. When I finally did, she told me that we had too good of a friendship, that she didn't want to ruin it, that I was like a good friend to her and that she couldn't feel that way for me. and she had a crush on some one else and they both are together but not in serious relation that's what she told me. i have asked her lot of times indirectly that if she like any one else but always said No.... But I just can't shake this feeling. Several times the pain I feel has grown so strong that I needed to take a 'vacation' from her, which just gave my mind time to fantasize about how great she is and how someday she has to give me a shot. But when I am away from her for so long, I miss her to the point where the only thing I want to do is be with her. No matter how much it hurts to know she doesn't feel the same way.I have actually cried about this almost a hundred times. The only advice I have gotten so far is to 'get over it', and if I could, I would. But I can't. I think that the reason I can't get over this is because I can't let go of the hopes that some day, she may change her mind. And I truly believe that if she did feel the same, I would marry her in a heartbeat. And there I go again with the 'ifs'.I'm sure that you get alot of mail, and what's going on in my world doesn't affect you, i am totally confused what to do ahead should i talk to that guy about us may be he understand or what should i do but please, help me.

Thank you

[smackie9]

You have fallin into an obsessive state because "we desire most what we cannot have". You really need to stop with this fantasizing, this is most of where your problem lies. Find yourself some male friends to hang out with, play basketball or some team like activity, video games, whatever and stop making friends with girls like that. When you have a strong male social circle and are busy with life, you won't have this issue again. It will most definitely keep you out of the "friends zone".

[smackie9]

Tip: people tend to fantasize or obsess over someone or something because their own life is fulfilling. You better take a good look at YOU, and what is going on with your social life. I feel this is where your problem lies.

[ashtonkutcher]

Smackie is right, you should distract yourself more. I know how hard it is to get over a friend you have a crush on. It's really hard because you see them a lot and and you care for them so much and you can't understand why they don't feel the same. To you it seems only natural that they would feel the same. I'm sorry that she doesn't though. You can't wait for her, you have to go on with your life. Date other girls, meet other girls, and keep yourself busy. One day I guarantee you will be over her, even though that day may not be anywhere near, it will come eventually.

[hopfrog]

Thanks for The advice will try to follow that you all sound very positive and helpful yeah its not that easy to let her go ..... i do have male friends but as u all know it when a girl comes in your life your friends are not that close will try to catch up with them ......

[smackie9]

You see this is what you need to learn. You must have a life outside any relationship you have. Never become obsessed to the point you ignore your friends and your life...this is where it fails. Always give each other space, time to do their own thing while you do yours. It keeps the relationship fresh, and keeps your life balanced.