Hi. I'm in a bit of a sticky situation and need advice about which direction to go. I'll try to keep it as short as possible.

I'm 27 now and I met this girl who is 21. She studies in the university I graduated from. We met in a rather unusual way. I was trying to help her patch things up with another boy instead we kinda connected. During this time I WAS RECOVERING FROM A BREAK UP from a 5 year relationship. I was not exactly in the right mind. I was utterly depressed and my mind was super messed up. Anyways this new girl seemed much much much better than my first and only girlfriend.

I got real close with this new girl but my mind was virtually stuck with my ex back then and I ended up saying extremely horrid things to this new girl and her mom - extremely nasty things that I am not proud of in any fashion. I still don't know why I did those things. I couldn't trust this new girl for reasons I don't know. It was worse than a nasty break up and we both tried to patch things up but it only made matters worse. I broke off with my friends, parents and basically everyone for a year.

During this time sought help from a professional counselor. During our brief 4 months dating period I told this new girl that I needed help to get my head straight as my ex was my first and we were more than ready to get married and I needed time to be a 100% but I never did that. Anyways, during this 1 year I went through my medication, my recovery plan, improved my health, my work, etc and became a new man. Now that I'm better i'm slowly connecting with my parents and old friends (best friends) and they happen to be her mutual friend. My friends understand that I was going through hell back then and they accepted my apology.

Its been a year that I am out of contact with her but I haven't tried to contact her in any form during that 1 year break. I tried to be with new people, found new hobbies and even considered dating new women. I even got offers to date new people but somehow something inside me told me not to. My friends will eventually tell her that they are in contact with me and they are in a confused situation themselves as they tell me that they are friends with her and also with me but we can never hangout together.

Now my very best friend is in very good terms with her and they are in constant contact. He repeatedly asks me if I'm over her and I say yes but on the inside I still want to get back with her because it was all my fault. My anger was out of control and I said horrible things. I just want to make things right and get back with her. I know I can make things right as I have a new way of life and new thinking which is much much better than my previous mind set.

I know I knew her for only 4 months but she was very special to me and made me happy in every way. What I am asking you guys is will it be a smart idea to slowly find a way back into her life as I still have feelings for her or just move on. I'm a simple man that lost his way and never meant to hurt her or her mom in any way. I don't know if she is dating someone or anything but my friend can surely give me all the info I need.

Thank you for reading and your suggestions!