Yep. It happened.

[Bo]

We broke up. I should be studying for my test but my brain is kind of mindf*cked atm. :/

[cast no shadow]

Sorry to hear it, do you want to share what happened?

I know what you mean, I wanted to invest myself with studies, thinking it will make me get over it fast.
At the end of the day since the semester starts I'm mainly doing nothing, and in the way to fail most of my goals..

Try to prevent it from the start.
Make a schedule, what you will do in each moment, and so on.
It might be helpful for you.

[Bo]

Well I've just about had it with his abusive bullshit. It's done i'm never going back. Oh then a couple hours ago I found out he cheated. Yeah. God i f*cking love days like this. I'm relieved to know the truth at least. Now I know I didn't deserve all the shit he did to me. F*CKKKKKKK ITTTTT F*CK the 3 YEARS. F*CK IT.

[Bo]

His shit really F*cked with my head I'm just glad summer is coming in a couple of months and I can get some free time to clear my head.

[cast no shadow]

Well, luckily (I think anyway) I wasn't with someone that cheated on me.
Though, I do think its good you know now.

This way you can move to the "anger phase" faster,
thought the pain is the same pain.

But keep that in mind - no one that treats you like that is worthy for your love.
It will take time but I'm sure you (and all of us) will find someone that does.

[Bo]

Well the next thing is getting my belongings back. But I think I can arrange that without having to see him. It just really took me a lot to see how abusive he was and how he was literally making me feel like I was crazy. I'm gonna go back to working on me and how happy I was before I started dating him. I lost a lot of good friends because of him. There's just a lot of shit to take in.

[DarkHelmet82]

why do women stay in abusive relationships. SOrry to hear what happened and you are better off. Just kind of curious why you stayed with him for so long

[cast no shadow]

Well, you can look on it from two stand points..

First of all, and this I can say about myself, there is something nice and comporting about being in a relationship
that makes you ignore what can be considered as "abusive" and want to stay there. I though lots of times that
my ex treats me like someone stupid, or that I should be thankful for him to be with me. And yeah, the truth is that
I certainly was. I was glad to be out of the dating scene, to have someone to hang out with, eating dinners together,
and of course, someone to go to bed with every night.

But this to relationships that are abusive in the more self esteem way.

When it comes to more physical and harsh verbal abusive there are women that just can't get out.
Maybe they don't have an alternative, maybe they are scared. Maybe they gotten used to look at themselves
as victims that they don't even believe that they can change their future.

[vashti]

Aww, I'm sorry, Bo. It sucks, doesn't it?

[Bo]

why do women stay in abusive relationships. SOrry to hear what happened and you are better off. Just kind of curious why you stayed with him for so long

Well for me it was difficult to let go because he is the first guy I've ever introduced my family to and also I had this unrelenting trust deep down that he was a great person and he just had anger issues he needed to work on. Him meeting my family was a really big deal for me at least. And i just loved unconditionally. I don't tell someone i love them and then leave the second something goes wrong, i'm just not that type of person. I stick through the good and the bad. And it's caused me a great deal of pain. And also because he convinced me that i was in fact the crazy one. That i was the one who needed "fixing".

Aww, I'm sorry, Bo. It sucks, doesn't it?

Yes it does, i didn't sleep at all last night. I stayed up talking to the person who told me this information. It just all makes sense now. It's a lot of emotion to feel for one night. I'm gonna knock back a couple drinks with one of my girlfriends and let myself digest all this. You know wasting 3 years of my life an all.

[vashti]

Bo, when you have time to let this digest, you will see it wasn't 3 years wasted. Even though the final lesson was a hard one, you certainly have learned a lot over this time, haven't you?

(hugs)

Hang in there, girly.

[SD64]

I don't tell someone i love them and then leave the second something goes wrong

The idea behind this is that you face life's challenges as a team. The two of you against the world, so to speak. Being abused by your partner isn't part of this deal. He's supposed to be the one you can stand side-by-side with and face the world. Not the one who throws it in your face.

You have every right to be angry. And you need to be, for your own sake. But don't consider for a moment that you wasted three years of your life. A relationship lost is never a waste. It was just another step in the road. This relationship was merely a stepping stone into a greater understanding of who you are as a person. You're not the same person now that you were three years ago. You've grown as a person. So consider nothing wasted.

[Bo]

Bo, when you have time to let this digest, you will see it wasn't 3 years wasted. Even though the final lesson was a hard one, you certainly have learned a lot over this time, haven't you?
Y
(hugs)

Hang in there, girly.

Thanks vash I appreciate it. I'm just really having a rough time that relationship was toxic and I needed to get out. My self esteem took a major beating and I need to focus on school and finish getting my degree.

[dnna1]

I'm sorry to hear that

[John12]

disagree