Yep. It happened.

[Bo]

The idea behind this is that you face life's challenges as a team. The two of you against the world, so to speak. Being abused by your partner isn't part of this deal. He's supposed to be the one you can stand side-by-side with and face the world. Not the one who throws it in your face.

You have every right to be angry. And you need to be, for your own sake. But don't consider for a moment that you wasted three years of your life. A relationship lost is never a waste. It was just another step in the road. This relationship was merely a stepping stone into a greater understanding of who you are as a person. You're not the same person now that you were three years ago. You've grown as a person. So consider nothing wasted.

The issues run in the family. A lot of sick delusions. He started to convince me that i was really losing it, that i was insane.

[Bo]

I'm sorry to hear that

me too, i know as time goes by i'll get through it. It's just so hard to grasp right now.

[asdfg789]

Sorry to hear that Bo. Hang in there (:

[Bush1]

This sounds very regret

[Bo]

Sorry to hear that Bo. Hang in there (:

I'm trying. I'm just so shocked still. And he won't leave me alone. And I shouldn't be but I'm so worried about him. I can see now that he needS help, he needs therapy. He fits all the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder. He needs serious mental help.

[IndiReloaded]

Bo, when you have time to let this digest, you will see it wasn't 3 years wasted. Even though the final lesson was a hard one, you certainly have learned a lot over this time, haven't you?

This^. Hugs from me too, Bo. You'll be fine, you sound better already.

[IndiReloaded]

I'm trying. I'm just so shocked still. And he won't leave me alone. And I shouldn't be but I'm so worried about him. I can see now that he needS help, he needs therapy. He fits all the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder. He needs serious mental help.

He's a jerk. You are so better off w/o him. The breakups are when they really show their colours.

[Bo]

This^. Hugs from me too, Bo. You'll be fine, you sound better already.

Thanks Indie, I can definitely use all the hugs I can get right now....and then I gotta deal with all my different emotions. I miss him, I hate him, I love him, I'm horny, I'm beyond pissed, I'm sad and resentful....too much to deal with.

[Bo]

He's a jerk. You are so better off w/o him. The breakups are when they really show their colours.

It's true, one second he tells me i'm bitch and i'm fake for believing what ppl told me. The next second he loves me and he's never gonna give up on me. It's exhausting.

[Bo]

The idea behind this is that you face life's challenges as a team. The two of you against the world, so to speak. Being abused by your partner isn't part of this deal. He's supposed to be the one you can stand side-by-side with and face the world. Not the one who throws it in your face.

You have every right to be angry. And you need to be, for your own sake. But don't consider for a moment that you wasted three years of your life. A relationship lost is never a waste. It was just another step in the road. This relationship was merely a stepping stone into a greater understanding of who you are as a person. You're not the same person now that you were three years ago. You've grown as a person. So consider nothing wasted.

Thanks i've thought about that, I just don't know. I think i'll see things differently down the road but I'm trying to get my head wrapped around all this. I'm definitely not the same person I was before, I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

I don't know how I will ever trust someone again...EVER.

[Bo]

I feel like someone died. It's been about five days and I'm miserable.

[IndiReloaded]

The idea behind this is that you face life's challenges as a team. The two of you against the world, so to speak. Being abused by your partner isn't part of this deal. He's supposed to be the one you can stand side-by-side with and face the world. Not the one who throws it in your face.

Its an expansion of Vash's point, but I think this captures the problem beautifully. When people say they feel lonely in a relationship, I think this^ is what they refer to. Partners/spouses should "always have your back" so to speak. When that's not there, or they can't for whatever reason (lack of trust, disagreement in values) then its time to consider moving on.

[Bo]

Its an expansion of Vash's point, but I think this captures the problem beautifully. When people say they feel lonely in a relationship, I think this^ is what they refer to. Partners/spouses should "always have your back" so to speak. When that's not there, or they can't for whatever reason (lack of trust, disagreement in values) then its time to consider moving on.

This I know, I just wish "knowing" this would make it hurt less.

[IndiReloaded]

The hurt isn't from him tho. Its b/c you finally realize he isn't the guy who could be the one who'd "have your back". Its the failed expectation. As soon as you realize that you are now free to go out and find that person who *will* be a real partner to you (and you to him), the hurt will be much less. You'll see that both of you are actually better off. Remember, his behaviour was preventing *you* from being a good partner for him also. Its doubly disappointing when you think of it like that, and therefore doubly good that you two are finally moving on.

[Wakeup]

It's true, one second he tells me i'm bitch and i'm fake for believing what ppl told me. The next second he loves me and he's never gonna give up on me. It's exhausting.

Don't most all abusers say such things? Words mean nothing when they are'nt backed up with action. Don't even consider taking him back. He needs therapy before he'll be ready to be anyone's decent partner. If you feel yourself weakening and wanting to believe his words that have no substance then consider getting your own bit of councelling to help you be stronger in your conviction of not ever wanting anything to do with him again.

This is the perfect opportunity for you to make yourself your number one priority. You now can concentrate on making you the best you that you can be without worrying about all the stuff that made you angst ridden and insecure during your time with him. In time (and what you do with your time) you'll look back and be glad you're free of him.