I really REALLY need some advice!!!

[smackie9]

If really love, that can don't care about anything, brave to go forward. Come on.

You are really a waste of f uckin air!

[Rubio]

We've had few great days and I tought I'll be able to get over this.. we talked about it and everything, and things with her past are not that bad as I tought.. but situation got bad again and we are both getting tired of it.. I think this relathionship will snap some day soon..
I just can't help myself.. Maybe I'm not the guy to have serious relathionship at all... This between us would be so great without this shit..
Honestly I can't stop thinking how stupid she was when she was young (very young) and I can't stop thinking how this guys abused her and it still makes me very sick, sad and angry.. And I'm "killing" both of us over this...

[smackie9]

Well I see someone has some maturing to do......she is way ahead of you that's why this isn't going anywhere.

[Dakini1]

Hi Rubio,
You say that this thinking about her past is making you sick and ruining an otherwise good relationship. There is a solution, that is to STOP thinking about it. This is easier to say than to do, but the fact is that you have a choice as to what to think about. It is your choice as to whether you drive yourself crazy thinking about something that happened years ago, or whether you focus on the good things you already have.
It can be a bit tricky to begin with but gets a lot easier very quickly. The best thing is that learning how to control your focus is a skill that you can use in many areas of your life. The thing I used to do was when I caught myself thinking about a certain situation I would immediately make myself switch to thinking about something else. For me, I used to switch my thinking to remembering past holidays.....but you can really think of anything, say an affirmation, listen to some music, go for a run, anything to get your mind off it. The thoughts about her past will keep coming back for a while, but then will eventually go. As I said, it will get easier. And then it won't even be an issue.

[Rubio]

Hi Rubio,
You say that this thinking about her past is making you sick and ruining an otherwise good relationship. There is a solution, that is to STOP thinking about it. This is easier to say than to do, but the fact is that you have a choice as to what to think about. It is your choice as to whether you drive yourself crazy thinking about something that happened years ago, or whether you focus on the good things you already have.
It can be a bit tricky to begin with but gets a lot easier very quickly. The best thing is that learning how to control your focus is a skill that you can use in many areas of your life. The thing I used to do was when I caught myself thinking about a certain situation I would immediately make myself switch to thinking about something else. For me, I used to switch my thinking to remembering past holidays.....but you can really think of anything, say an affirmation, listen to some music, go for a run, anything to get your mind off it. The thoughts about her past will keep coming back for a while, but then will eventually go. As I said, it will get easier. And then it won't even be an issue.

Thanks for your advice... I'm trying to do so but it's very hard.. there's to many things that reminds me on it...

No news today... We had good day... I'll let you know what happens in future..

At least it helps to write about it...

Well I see someone has some maturing to do......she is way ahead of you that's why this isn't going anywhere.

I don't think maturing is something that would solve it.. Maybe it more depends on what kind of person I am... I'm very egoistic person and I know that... And can't help it..

[smackie9]

Trust me you do grow out of it as you get older.

[parkbom]

Well stop being so egotistic. You feel anger and frustration because of your ego. You feel mad and frustrated because people knows about her past and told you about it and it may seem like she's make YOU look bad. Try to step back a little and stop being so egotistic. IF you continue to be egotistic, you won't get far in your relationship because you're expecting everything to be perfect and wish none of this had happen. Well reality check. This has happened and now you resent her for what she did and called her stupid because she did something like this. There are a lot of people who done stupid things in the past. Like if you heard on the news that a 18 year old had an affair with her 41 year old high school teacher. yes she is stupid, but I would say she is ignorant and blind that she doesn't realize what she is actually doing. Sure your girlfriend had sex when she was 13. And what if it was you, who had sex when your were 13? Is that ok?

Why does it matter if a girl does and why make a big deal if they do have sex with multiple guys at a young age, but a guy can? We tend to think its gross if a girl is a slut and have sex with multiple guys and its repulsive. But so its not disgusting and gross if a guy has multiple sex with girls? Doesn't make sense. You probably only feel this way because you feel that girls should be a virgin and should be clean. Guess what she's not and not everyone is innocent and clean. At least she cried in front of you to tell you not to leave her and feels regret. I'm sure she regrets what she'd done and wish she can forget about her past and go back to her past and fix it, but she can't. What's done is done. YOu just have to move on and let it go and hope for a brighter future for you and her. By thinking this way, you seem too selfish and only thinking about your feelings. What about her feelings? stop overanalyizing. I mean is she still having sex with multiple guys now? is she cheating on you? has she done anything wrong to you? If no, then forget about it. You can't judge her and label her as a slut. She changed and she is now a grown woman who probably wants to live a better life and not have someone to keep reminding her of her horrible past. I'm sure she wants to do good and if you can't support her, then you suck as a boyfriend and should even ever be dating because you're a jerk/

[Rubio]

@smackie9
I hope so...

@parkbom
Yes I know... Everything what you said is truth... Even worse, I had sex when I was 14...

Yesterday I gave her opportunity to go away from me.. I told her that I know that I'm torturing her and that Im really sorry about that..
Now she is in worse condition over this than I am.. She begged me not to live her and I felt like a shit...
We agreed that we've went to far in this relationship to just give up that easily and we will try to work on it...

[smackie9]

What would really work on you is if she had some backbone and put you in your place. I did that when I first started dating my husband. He was jealous of the stupidest things.....I never chased after him when he go off in a huff or begged for him to come back, f uck that.....I don't play that game. He got over it real fast once he knew I wasn't putting up with it and the possibility of losing me.

[Rubio]

Things got better... We are talking alot in last few days and having a lot of sex...
Obviusly I'm still pissed about everything but I accepted the fact that I can't change the past and doing nothing about it is better than doing anything...
We are having good time and even when I start thinking about it (not as much as I used to) I'm not bothering her with it...
It's not good but it's first time that I actually think that someday everything will be ok..

[mwahahaha]

Can someone tell me what happened in a few short sentences, because thats like a fckn book.

[Rubio]

Things calmed down... I don't have problems with anger anymore... But since I finally realised that there's absolutely nothing I can do to change this things, I need to admit that I don't care about my girlfriend as much as i used to... It's like part of my love for her is gone... I'm just relaxed about everything related to her atm...