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Thread: What are the best qualities in a lover? (Straight girls answer please)

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    What are the best qualities in a lover? (Straight girls answer please)

    Tell me about your best experiences with an ongoing sexual relationship.
    I am not just interested in what they did in bed and the size of their man-parts, but also things like:
    • intimacy
    • diet
    • types and frequency of exercise (cardio? sport?)
    • occupation
    • personality
    • and other lifestyle factors.

    Feel free to mention what you liked and disliked about their performance, and things that you have thought of during sex.

    Also I would appreaciate if you told me a little bit about yourself too, to give me context with my answers. Things such as:
    • how many partners you have had
    • how you think of yourself as far as physical beauty, desirability and sexul performance
    • anything else you feel comfortable with that you feel would help me understand.

    Please be honest in your responses, I don't know any of you so I have no reason to judge. Just trying to get a bit of perspective on things.
    Much appreciated!

    *EDIT: Thanks ladies these have been some great responses so far, but just to clarify I am not so much looking for what women THINK is their ideal guy. I am more interested at this point in objective observations about a particularly good lover in your life.
    • Eg. "He used to eat mainly fish and salad, and had fast food for about one meal per week." or "He worked at an accounting firm".
      I am trying to collect historical and observational data rather than opinion, regardless of whether you think the particular quality impacted his performance as a lover or not.


    Keep the responses coming! Thanks heaps for taking the time to read and respond, it is much appreciated!
    Last edited by jcorntassel; 06-05-12 at 09:48 PM. Reason: bold

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    I'd say personal hygiene, good communication, intimacy, playfulness. All qualities I consider paramount for a *good* lover.

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    I'm wondering what occupation has to do with sexual performance? LOL.

    Well, I suppose I've always had a thing for firefighters. Sadly, I've only ever gotten to admire them from afar.. my best memory is the one emerging from a residence building elevator in full kit holding a fireaxe (someone had left a pot on a stove in their apartment). He had to duck to get out of the elevator and looked so very serious, lol. I couldn't think straight. It was like seeing a god.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    The best lovers are more concerned with their partner getting there before they do so they know how to bring a woman to multiple orgasm through finger and mouth play long before intercourse is introduced into their bed play.

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    Nah can't be bothered.....wakeup hit the nail on the head there.

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    Does that work though? Because I know with guys, once they cum they lose their sex drive pretty quickly,
    so would it be the same with girls or are they good to go straight after?

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    I was considering occupation to also get an idea on related factors such as physical exercise, intuitiveness/personality and as well as any psychological turn-ons
    that high-paying jobs, positions of power or charitable work might have (such as your firefighter thing, although im mainly interested in actual sexual encounters)

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    Cheers for the response, but I kinda consider these the more obvious answers. I am really hoping to discover some more specific and suprising answers related to things such as
    diet and lifestyle etc. Also can you even have intimacy AND playfulness at the same time? I've always thought of intimacy as more serious and passionate, and playfulness as just fooling around.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jcorntassel View Post
    Does that work though? Because I know with guys, once they cum they lose their sex drive pretty quickly,
    so would it be the same with girls or are they good to go straight after?
    A good lover will bring his partner to orgasm during foreplay and will immediately set her on her way for another as soon as she has stopped pulsating from the first. Women do not have a refractory period like men do. It does take a moment or two of what I would describe as an "over stimulated" feeling but the right guy will get you beyond that momentary squirm, over the crest and into your next decent into bliss.

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    Playfulness means that one is curious and experimental and is willing to indulge in pleasure without it being just a race towards orgasm. It has nothing to do with lack of intimacy, quite the opposite: when you play with someone (not some*thing*) you get even more connected with them.

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    Oh ok I get what you mean. When I think of playfulness I just imagine a couple tickling eachother and giggling beneath the sheets lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by jcorntassel View Post
    I was considering occupation to also get an idea on related factors such as physical exercise, intuitiveness/personality and as well as any psychological turn-ons
    that high-paying jobs, positions of power or charitable work might have (such as your firefighter thing, although im mainly interested in actual sexual encounters)
    There's loads of data on this, just do a search. High-paying jobs = increased sex, drinking, hard exercise. Basically anything that relieves stress.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    There's loads of data on this, just do a search. High-paying jobs = increased sex, drinking, hard exercise. Basically anything that relieves stress.
    Yes but I mean mainly from a woman's perspecitve. What you were saying has more to do with how a man with high paying employment will want to relieve stress and stuff.

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    Its not just men. Women too now b/c of our high-powered jobs. Look up the stats: we women are matching the men in terms of stress and cardiovascular disease. Speaking of which, I'm outta here.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    Quote Originally Posted by jcorntassel View Post
    Oh ok I get what you mean. When I think of playfulness I just imagine a couple tickling eachother and giggling beneath the sheets lol
    Nah I meant the sexual type of playfulness :-).

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