Falling again

[cast no shadow]

And again I fell, sinking in the darkness, loosing the will.
Again, the good days are over, and crying is what left.

I can't stand this notion,
The mist surrounding my future,
Blocking my ability to see.

My life is going on,
But I'm not present.
I don't the steps, they are leading me.
I don't make a choice, cause nothing matters.

Leaving in a memory that won't let go.
A memory of happiness? of wholeness?
I'm not even sure.

Was I really pleased then?
Or was I pretending, knowing it's the last chance.

The last chance to feel I am human.
That I will be right, happy, striving for success.
A human is someone that sometimes falls, but in the end bounce back.

So maybe I am not.
I have no aims, no direction.
Not capable to love, don't deserved it from on one else.
Have nothing to share, nothing that worth receiving.

Never good enough, never smart enough, never pretty.
Nothing that will want you to approach,
Everything that will make you disconnect.
Lonely and shameful, sad and empty.

I am nothing worth mentioning.

[thebigbigsky]

Sounds sad reading this... I'm sure every human being is worth in their own ways and deserve for happiness... What are the best time in your life? What are the times when you feel good or happy?

Perhaps you could share what makes you feel shameful or sad?

Best wishes...

[cast no shadow]

I don't know.
It seems as nothing is happy for me anymore.
Even when I'm out with friends, having fun I can't stop thinking of him.
Hes in my night and day dreams.
I see in my head in everything our time together.
Like there is nothing good that will happen to me anymore.

[Jason2]

You want brave ah don't too sentimental

[thebigbigsky]

I don't know.
It seems as nothing is happy for me anymore.
Even when I'm out with friends, having fun I can't stop thinking of him.
Hes in my night and day dreams.
I see in my head in everything our time together.
Like there is nothing good that will happen to me anymore.

It is very difficult when we loss someone we love. It is nature that as a human being we need times for the process of grief and loss. It is ok that you have your emotions instead of suppressing them. Perhaps you could keep a journal or write down what you feel, it's a good way of releasing your emotions and help you through this transition time. When you feel sad, it is also ok to cry instead of suppressing it. Drawing or sketching is another way of releasing emotions, people who do not know drawing also could sketch, it is the process which matter instead of the product.

Keep going out with friends and socializing, it would be good for you. Do exercise is very good in this too!

With love....

[JasonHJJ]

Thanks for your post.

[prettygirl]

Sad post. I hope you'll feel better soon.