A shy guy, already has a girlfriend, does nto make a move but does not stop flirting.

[Ivy6]

This guy I know has a girlfriend but they're like strangers together and she is the boss over him so badly.

He is very shy and gentle but seems to have a crush on me. He complimented me by the ton but stopped at one point (he is known as a play full pesterer, not as a charmer), he stares at my legs without hiding it, he eavesdrops A LOT, goes red, stalks my fb, goes hot & cold, tries to be around me a lot, peeks around corners to see if I got in yet, and started breathing heavily as I set next to him. We always stand very close, I can feel the heat rising from his legs, and he stares into my eyes for centuries. When he cannot bare eyecontact, he still takes the effort to wink. He even told this guy to go away as he was talking to me. He seems to be rather jealous of him though there is no reason to be.
I feel he flollowed me once after going out with friends, and we were both going home alone but as i turned around he had magicly dissapeared! He never tries to touch me, but this one time I handed him something and he tried to touch my hand somewhat longer. He totally lost balance after that and his eyes told me he was losing it. He looks at my lips when we talk.
He starts to grin like an idiot when he sees me (he was known as a grumpy man before i came along), when I remember something he once said he lights up. He sticks by me when in trouble and tries to cheer me up. he feels bad when he can not help me with something. He is a bit of an overachiever though. I once passed him whilest I was looking for him and he had a very hurt look in his eyes when he came after me.

But the thing is, he runs away when there's ever an oppurtunity to ask for a date. Even if it is mid-convo. He says he is very scared. He denies any types of invites I give him. I told him about this party and said 'you should have come, it was great!' and he just looked at me all puzzled and went: 'yea?..'.

He is a twinless twin, and I recently heard it's not very uncommon for them to do a bit of self-sabotaging and often maintain very bad relationships. Is this crap or true?
Because it has been 4 months now and we've hardly ever had a proper conversation, and I don't know what his plans are, seducing me to boost his ego?

I cant make a move on somebody who is already seeing someone. This girl of his is especially controlling and is definetly keeping an eye on me, as she noticed him staring a few times too many..
But if I shoudl just ignore all of this, I'd have to take him aside to please ask him to please stop extra-elegantly open doors for me and quit standing up for me etc..
And to become friends (wether it is as a start or not) is a very hard thing too, as he seems to love saying 'no.' to any type of invitation.
This is where men are a mystery to me. What to do?

[smackie9]

Staying out of it would be best for everyone. He isn't that shy if he is stalking you, smiling at you, shooing guys away, staring at you, etc. His actions may seem indearing to you but it is piss poor behaviour. He is opening chasing you, and flirting with you while he is in a relationship. He is being a complete dog. It doesn't matter if you think their relationship is bad, that is no excuse.....if it was so bad he wouldn't be with her in the first place. You are just making up exuses to justify to get his action. Her watching you closely means she knows what is going on, and well if you were in her shoes you would be doing the same thing....being very worried that someone is honing in on your BF....so you would be "controlling" too. Being a shy guy doesn't make him a nice guy and the attention you are getting from him doesn't mean you are special....possibly if you ever were to be with him, you will find him flirting with someone else down the road.

The guy is a creep, seeing it from this end, and you are too caught up in your feelings for him, to notice it. So my advice to is to back off.

[haxan]

Not sure what you find mysterious about him, or why you would even want to pursue him, girlfriend or not. Seems like a bit of a nerd.

[Ivy6]

Well, I don't find him mysterious as he is just a quiet and plain character, but his behaviour is puzzelling me for sure;
Always saying such negative things about his girlfriend and how they go trough so many bad stages, yet always sticking up for me like crazy when he doesn't really know me (aside from god knows what he's been listening in on). Up close he shies away easily, but from a distance he's all daring.
I definetly don't get how that works? Is it just all about being superhorny? Is chasing after a present so much better than opening it?

Backing off would be a nice option but we heavily depend on each other (not in a personal way). I'd have to change my life to not be around him and that wouldn't be worth it..
Disencouraging his approaching me wouldn't be so great either, I've already managed to hurt his feelings this way, unintentionally. Often it's like he depends on me to feel good.
Which is why many people think his gf is rude & ruining him, nobody hopes/thinks they will last. My ex was very controlling too and I stuck it out with him too long myself, I no longer have respect for victimising relationships like that anymore, regardless of anything.. So I hope you don't think I'm a bad person for this.

Thanks for your responses.

[Bonkers2012]

You're the backup plan for - if and when it all goes wrong with the current relationship...the idea is to keep you holding there just incase. He's been frosty of late as the current relationship going okay at the moment and he's been told to back-up by the current girlfr

He sounds like a creep. I say move on. Be done with this loser! You are fascinated only because he seems to like you so. He sounds like a wimp tbh, no woman wants a wimp.

Best of luck

[smackie9]

Well it sounds like you already have it all figured out so really there was no need to be here. It is what it is, best of luck.

[Harry1]

thanks a lot

[smackie9]

thanks a lot

[Jeff12]

I want to know that you love her, I don't know what you mean.

[smackie9]

I want to know that you love her, I don't know what you mean.

Spamming asshole.

[dem862]

You sound smitten with this guy. He may be attracted to you, but he is not acting on it. He is already in a relationship. You should back off. There is no good that will come of this. Find a guy who is single.

[Joshua1]

much appreciated