Whole new beginning!

[JadenMia]

For those who remember me and my situation, here is an update and a BIG thankyou to everybody that helped me through a pretty rough time. After the police were informed of what had been going on, they started the investigation by gathering my witnesses, evidence etc to charge my ex boyfriend. He was arrested and released on bail with a restriction order and strict conditions.

Things have been great for months now! I feel he has disapeared from the face of the earth.
I slowly have recovered my self esteem and happiness after lots of counselling, support and time alone. So thankyou to those who helped me see the truth and helped me do the right thing.

Since then, i have been seeing old friends again, happier at work, i havnt cried since the date i went to court, which used to be an everyday thing for me when i was with my ex. I have never felt so proud of myself and it just feels great.

My question for today! I have been very happily single, which i thought was impossible for me! lol A while ago i had met a guy and thought absolutely nothing of it, wasnt really interested at first at all. Since then, we have spent more time together as time has passed. First just great company as a friend, up until a month ago things became a little more 'romantic'. He started joining me on daily outings with my daughter, helped me grocery shop, brings me coffee sometime on a morning and i just noticed little things that were turning a little more away from strictly friends.

Up until last week it was my daughters birthday friends and all our friends came. He asked if he could join and i agreed, he helped me set everything up, was just awesome the whole day! It was later that day that he told me he liked me... That night we kissed and i felt something i hadnt felt in a long time..

Without looking for something it came to me, and i dont know what to think about it! Now all of a sudden i think of him in a completely different way, i smile everytime he texts, i giggle like a little girl at his jokes, i am actually looking forward to seeing him again.

My problem, i also very suddenly feel unsure about myself, almost uneasy. Is this a sign that meeting someone is too soon for me? All these feelings just came flooding to me, one of the main feelings of, he is just a little too good to be true. He always wants to talk, which i love, we can talk on the phone for hours like best friends could, he is always planning our next 'meet up', complimenting me..

If something feels too good to be true, then should i follow that? Or is it my insecurity popping up from the effects of my abuse? I trusted him and didnt have a worry when we were just friends and now i am worried.
Should i keep my guard up and go with the flow? Or put it down to me being not at all ready for anything with anybody else?

Thanks in advance

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Glad you're doing well. He sounds like a genuine, supportive guy. Keep your nerves at bay and give it a chance. Just keep going slowly and let things develop at a pace you're comfortable.

[JadenMia]

Thankyou! After thinking I guess that's all I can do right. Keep my guard up a little bit and take it slow. Thanks again!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Pay attention, but don't "keep your guard up", unless you start seeing red flags. Don't hold him accountable for your hurt.

[asdfg789]

Congrats JM ! Great to hear that your past is behind you ! Finally !

Not a bad idea to take things a little slow. If you decide that then share and explain to him. If he is serious, he should respect and accept it.

Best of luck !!

[JadenMia]

Thankyou yeah he knows a little of my past with my ex due to me still in the process of the courts, he tells me he will prove to me that he will treat me well and show not all men are like the ex. I guess I just need to let my anxiety go about men. I have been enjoying the single life so much he kind of took me by surprise.
It's nice to be treated like I'm a good person for once though so I'm going to just enjoy it and take it day by day!

[logan]

Glad you're happy now! Just take it slow, feel him out some more. Keep this in mind...Men, have to always romanticize you to finally get under your wing and the real person comes out! Secretly test him, with out of the blue situations to make sure you're not with a hot head! Like if he gets jealous if you're with friends or wants to occupy all of your time, other than that, giggle to your hearts content!

[Wakeup]

It's nice to be treated like I'm a good person for once though so I'm going to just enjoy it and take it day by day!

That's all any of us can do, Jade... so, yea.

Glad you hear you've been doing well.

[Harry1]

much appreciated

[Jeff12]

I actually feel, this already very perfect.

[JadenMia]

I actually feel, this already very perfect.

What do you mean by that?
I just feel my main problem is I don't believe the nice things he says. He texts me random things through the day, saying how beautiful I am and hints how much he likes me. But I get torn feelings about the things he says.
One of the things my ex used to call me was a sex tool. It really got to me and I pushed away every male in my life truly believing that they were only nice to me to sleep with me. Now I get this same feeling with my new guy 'friend'. In a way I think 'aww that was so cute!!' and then I backtrack and think, 'bullshit'.. Just a way to play me and use me..

I guess I have a hard time believing anything nice he has to say and view it as fake. Grr.

[MaidenMinx]

Oh Jaden, I am so happy to hear you are doing so well. I am truly stoked for you.

As for this new guy, what does your counsellor think? You should be discussing your insecurity with them.
Please don't let your ex taint your attitude to all guys. It's easy to get trapped in a negative way of thinking and so far out doesn't sound like this guy had done anything to deserve your suspicion. You know what to look for in the way of red flags, you know how it feels to feel good about yourself. Keep these things on mind while exploring this new possibility. Take it slow, you have plenty of time to determine if he is right for you.

Just one question, is this the same guy from a little while back? Your exes best mate or something, I think he was.

[JadenMia]

Thanks mm I am really, truly happy about life. I can't believe the difference in myself since he has been gone and after my counselling!! And I have mentioned the new guy to my counsellor and she just said that to take baby steps with him. Not to put all my concentration into him or 'us' which I have been following pretty strictly! Lol I have my next session next Tuesday along with an domestic interview before I face the courts. Hmm kinda nervous.
It is not the exes friend though, after the whole court situation I split contact with pretty much anyone he was remotely close to. I felt it was the best for the complete turn around I needed. He pretty much just moved to town from BC. It's nice because he has absolutely no ties with the ex like 99% of the people around here lol

I'm trying not to let my insecurities get the better of me with him. I just try to ignore my feelings of disbelief and a good girly chat with the roommate usually helps a lot! It's just the 'too good to be true' part about him that gets me wondering. Is it possible there has been men like this all along!? he is genuinely nice and caring, no sex and scoping him out for a few months should probably do the trick. hehe

[Joshua1]

bumb ubm!