How do i finish it.

[toto]

Hi everyone,

I feel a bit guilty cos everyone in here is always looking advice on how to hold on to a relationship, And heres me trying to finish one! But

Ive been going out with this girl for 2/3 months and now i....just dont want to be going out with someone right now. what makes it worse is that she is the type of girl who calls you everyday and texts every couple of hours. I like the girl but know this relationship is not for me. she plans to do things all the time and before i know it my weekend is gone. Im at the stage where ill be leaving uni soon and can do and go anywhere i want to. so the last thing i want is to be in a relationship. And before i started going out with her i was in a two year relationship were i moved in and had my heart set on that girl. that over now but i think i jumped into this one.

Sounds simple enough but ive never dumped someone before and i cant get the balls to do it. And when we talked about our relationship, when i should of said something, she was down and looking effection.....so i couldnt.

I dont think im the first person in this situation, so come on what should i do.

[abercromqt20]

well to me it sounds like u jumped into this one too soon after ur last relationship. and this girl has become a rebound of sorts. the good thing is ur only like 2 months in, and ur just at the stage where ur evaluating what u think of this girl. i think you should just be honest with her. say ur just not in the right place in ur life to commit to a serious gf. u just came out of a serious relationship, and ur about to finish school. if u really like her but u think now just isn't a good time for you, let her know that. don't make any promises, but let her know u might want to revisit the relationship somewhere down the line when u are ready to be in a relationship. that's what i would do.

[Glenn]

I think u gotta be cruel in order to be kind....

[abercromqt20]

yup, it's better now before things get serious. she might not like it now, but in the long run it is probably what's best!

[K3vMySt3r]

agreed i'd say tell her asap because u don't want her to hanging on the thread and leading her on... the more time u give it to cut it the harder it'll be to cut it... so i'd say cut it while its still soft

[cycletease]

Don't think of it as being mean to her, you really are doing her a favor by leaving her. You are not interested in her and you are wasting her time. She is a great girl, obviously a dedicated girlfriend and all of her efforts are lost on you because she isnt what you want right now.

Continuing with this charade means you are not only wasting her time but also keeping her from meeting someone who might really love her.

Do her and yourself a favor and end it. She will cry and be sad, but not forever...she will be way happier in the end than having a boyfriend who doesnt love her.

You aren't a bad person, this isn't evil and it is hard. We have all had to do it and it is the right thing.

[toto]

Pretty much what i was thinking. My problem is that i hate seeing someone sad. Any intention to call things off crumble when i see someone depressed.

BUT.... i suppose i should/have to do it.

This is a bit lame but do you think its easier for her if i reduce contact and gradually break it off. My previous experiance would suggest no, but i can see why someone would?

[abercromqt20]

no, that's just putting her through more stress. if you start acting differently towards her she is going to notice. and if its drawn out like that she is going to blame herself. When dealing with a situation like this don't play games. it's best to be straight, open, and honest. you are more credible this way, and she is more likely to believe that this is the real reason you are breaking it off with her.

[toto]

thanks for that, Ill keep you posted

[Cybog]

Um, you guys have been dating for 2 months. I seriously doubt either of you should be considering wedding bells anytime soon.

Some day you will realize that 2-3 month "dating" is hardly a relationship. You shouldn't have a "girlfriend" until you have dated this person for 5-6 months in my opinion.

It's time she learned this as well. Dump her. And if she gets bent out of shape out of this 2-3 month "dating" you guys have been doing, then tough shit. She's immature anyway.

[Jenrick285]

Truth always works... come to think of it...
Sounds like you just need some time to yourself, collect your thoughts and like figure what you want...

Of course if always helps to "bend" it a little and say it's completely you and not her... That you're in an odd place and you just need to figure things on your own... (which although isn't that far from the truth)...

Parting is never easy, but there are ways to phrase it...