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Thread: Should I be worried or jealous?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    1

    Should I be worried or jealous?

    Hello,
    I'm 26 F dating a 28 M. We met online and I moved in with him 5 months after we met and dated (it was long distance. He would come see me about once a month for a weekend) We have been in a relationship for a year and 3 months now.

    I absolutely love and adore everything about him.

    Now the reason for this post. He was online in the other room the other day (he has just recently started to take his laptop into the other room) and I walked in and saw a page of another girl before he closed it out. I didn't say anything because I know how google + is and sometimes you wind up on other peoples page because of something they said. At least, That's how I rationalized it. Well, one day while he was asleep, his ipod went off that he was mentioned in a post by someone. I paid it no mind at the time but I have a really good memory. Earlier today I was on g+ and went to his wall and saw that this female commented on one of his post and I pulled up her profile and found out that not only was she the girl he was looking at that time but it was the name on the ipod aswell. So, I looked at every post he made to her on her pictures and now I feel my heart is breaking. He's been emailing her and from some of her comments he's told her about his ex-wife but I don't know if she knows about me. He's written things on her pictures telling her she looks like a beautiful angel and telling her she was gorgeous. And the one that really got me was when he told her that "he never thought of her in a sexual way..until now" and they joked about his mind being in the gutter. It looks like they met on Apr 30.

    Background info: Why this hurts me: He used to say those kind of things to me all the time and as much as I tell him that he's good looking and sexy, he doesn't really say that kind of stuff to me anymore. We haven't made love since the end of last year not because of me, but because he doesn't want to. he won't even let me touch him there. I've read about this and I realized that in some relationships its normal to not have sex and I also no that he's been stressed and tired from work so that could be a problem.

    Back to the topic: Now the thing about this female is that she lives in completely different country so I know that there is no way he'd be able to see her. But I still can't help but to feel betrayed and hurt.

    Should I be worried of jealous of this girl that lives in another country?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    105
    Of course you should be worried. He's not physically cheating on you, but it's still a form of cheating as far as I'm concerned. I hate to break it to you but from what you've said it sounds like he's not physically attracted to you anymore. Maybe this is as far as he goes, or maybe it's the first step towards actually physically cheating on you. Either way you need to confront him about this. If he's not into you anymore then it's best to find out now rather than later so you can move on and find someone else.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    4,622
    I'd also be very worried about a man of 28 not wanting to have sex. That tells me that there is a significant problem with your relationship that you need to sort out.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Surrey, BC
    Posts
    15,542
    You are in denial. He is having an emotional affair with this girl, that means he has already left your relationship. Sorry but if all the affection, sex and other things are gone, so is your relationship...all you are right now to him is a roommate sharing the bills. Don't worry about jealousy, it's past that stage....it's break up time.

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