What's the deal?

[Leek]

So I've been dating this girl for about 3 weeks - we have been on 4 dates, 2nd date ended with a first kiss and the last one she came around to my house and I cooked her dinner. It went really well.

All of our dates have gone on for at least 5 hours, and normally end with us getting kicked out of the restaurant/cafe/bar because it is closing - just lots of good conversation.

The problem, if it is even one, is that she never initiates texting etc, and a lot of the time if I text her she won't reply - she only replies if I have asked her out again or if I send a text that is more of an observation about something rather than conversational e.g. if I text with something like "Hey - how's your day been?" I get nothing back, if I text "Such a beautiful day - worth the 5am start" I get a reply.

After our date the other night I haven't heard anything back(2 days ago) and it ended with a lot of kissing and me walking her home.

She is really traditional - has told me that she expects me to organise dates and ask her out, is from a fairly religious background. I just need some advice on proceeding? Should I keep the texting up(it's only once every couple days) or should I just stop? Obviously the best bet is to ask her but I don't want to be "that guy" and text her something like that.

[Jason278]

Thanks for your post

[searock]

Maybe she would rather you call her instead of texting her?

[Raven12]

much appreciated

[Jason278]

Thanks for your post.

[IQSnowyX]

You should still text her every other day, afterall she makes it clear to you that you should initiate due to her religious reasons. Women still need to feel some security and that sesecurity can come easily from a simple text alone. Perhaps the reasons she seldom texts you back could be due to the fact that she wants personal chat with you instead of just plain text and some emoticons which can be hard to know what both are really expressing. You can try calling her and talk to her. I think she prefers it to be that way.

[Leek]

Thanks very much for the replies and advice - spoke to her today after leaving it for the weekend, and we won't be continuing to date. She says that the last date we had(outlined above) "freaked her out, I'm not ready for that or where it might lead". Given that the date was me cooking her dinner, watching a movie, and then me dropping her home - it wasn't much. Maybe the religious thing is a part of it(she has never had a serious bf mainly because of religion getting in the way), maybe she doesn't like me. Either way = no good.

Thanks again for the advice though - appreciate it!

[searock]

Just out of curiosity, have you asked why your last date freaked her out? I'm assuming she knew beforehand that you would be staying at your place eating a home cooked meal and watching a movie?

[Boisdevie]

Religious loony = no sex before wedding ring on finger = sexual frustration. You had a lucky escape.

Bet she doesn't masturbate either cos lord that would be sinful.

[Jason521]

Thanks for your post

[Leek]

I gather from talking to her that it's a combination of the religion and the not wanting anything serious...

She knew that the date was my place for dinner. I was very aware that her religious beliefs might mean she was nervous about coming over, so I gave her an out during the day(text her and said "Still on for tonight? If getting to mine is an issue then we can meet up in town and eat out") but she replied saying she was looking forward to sampling my cooking. After dinner, I gave her another out - asked if she wanted to watch a movie or if she had to get home because of work early the next morning. She went with the movie. In short, I was paranoid that she would think that I had only invited her because of the prospect of sex so tried to make it clear that it was to see her, and in the end she was still worried about "where it might lead".

To be honest, I'm surprised by how gutted I am over this. We were only dating for about a month, but as I say above they were great dates.

[Margie1]

Thanks for sharing.

[Russell1]

bumb ubm!