online dating ? match / e harmony

[shadower4]

sorry if this is in the wrong place... so i tried match.com sent out like 12 messages and did not get a single reply. 2 of those 12 actually took the time to look at my profile but decided not to reply. If i try e harmony do you think i will have better luck? Do people on e harmony have the common courtesy to actually reply nicely saying not interested? I am a good looking 19 year old male who just wants companionship now that summer is coming and i am out of college, someone i could go to the beach with etc...

[bluesummer]

I think you're just not trying hard enough, or you're just doing something wrong. I'm telling you from a woman's persepective who online dated for a couple of years (met my now-husband on there!). I know the types of messages MOST men send and they're usually the kind we don't respond to.

If you don't send a personalized message that shows you read their profile with some amount of interest and attention to detail, you are going to get ignored. Women want to be picked out as individuals, not because you saw their pic and thought they looked good. The most common messages I got (that I always ignored) were: "What's up?" "You're sexy/cute/hot/pretty etc etc" "I ike your pic" "You sound like fun"

The worst part they were usually just one-liners like that. Try harder. Make better choices in who you're picking, too. Be realistic, are they really a match for you? (this comes down to reading the profile in detail). My husband got my attention because he was one of the few that actually wrote out a few sentences that referenced my interests as noted in my profile. eHarmony is a giant ripoff, if you know what you're doing you can get better results on any of these other dating sites for less money. Remember too, not to get down because you don't get responses. These are women you're dealing with, you're going to have to send out 20 or 30 before you get a response. Unless you look like Brad Pitt (women can be shallow too lol)

[bluesummer]

Oh, and make sure you're own profile is interesting and well-constructed. If it just says "Hey, I'm Mike and like to have fun and hang with friends" you're probably not going to get any responses. I mention this because again, this is what most men's profiles look like. No f*cking information, like they either don't care or are a secret agent.

[Asip4u]

sorry if this is in the wrong place... so i tried match.com sent out like 12 messages and did not get a single reply. 2 of those 12 actually took the time to look at my profile but decided not to reply. If i try e harmony do you think i will have better luck? Do people on e harmony have the common courtesy to actually reply nicely saying not interested? I am a good looking 19 year old male who just wants companionship now that summer is coming and i am out of college, someone i could go to the beach with etc...

I kinda have a similar question so i'll look forward to some replies. It really depends on a lot of factors. What you say is important as much as what you look like (sorry but saying all the right things is not enough). I find that going out and meeting people is much easier and more effective for me (i'm early 30's but look much younger). I don't know i think pretty much all women want a guy looking manly(even the younger ones) so if you have a kid look going you won't get too many replies. The fact that it's much tougher to get responses and see your personality through a web site doesn't help either (and this is a huge part imo) and so out in the real world you can easily show that person the real you.

[bluesummer]

The fact that it's much tougher to get responses and see your personality through a web site doesn't help either (and this is a huge part imo) and so out in the real world you can easily show that person the real you.

So true Asip. That's why if you're going to try and meet women through a computer you better try to convey the image of the real you as effectively and in detail as possible (including pictures, yes). My rule of thumb was to always put a few pictures, and always mediochre ones. Not my best and not my worst, because you never want to disappoint, it's always better to show up to a date looking as good as or better than your profile.

[Asip4u]

Oh, and make sure you're own profile is interesting and well-constructed. If it just says "Hey, I'm Mike and like to have fun and hang with friends" you're probably not going to get any responses. I mention this because again, this is what most men's profiles look like. No f*cking information, like they either don't care or are a secret agent.

lol. This is quite helpful actually. I did try it years ago and it didn't work (even though it was well constructed and all). Anyways, i tried last week and sent numerous messages and nothing!..I didn't put that much info though so i'll try that. Thanks blue!

[Jason278]

Thanks for your post

[Muiin1]

I liked OKcupid when i was looking

[Boisdevie]

So far I've had no problems attracting interest. Here are my tips
1. Have a photo and try to look happy and welcoming, not axe-wielding murderer. In my photo I"m on the eating an ice cream.
2. Have profile and make it honest - what you like etc. So many profiles I"ve seen, esp from women seem to be along the lines of 'seeks sincere man' - well obviously, or I DON'T WANT X, Y OR Z. Try to keep it interesting and positive.
3. When you message someone mention something about their interests rather than 'hey babe.........'