Financial Problems

[skeeziix]

I don't know what it is anymore about selfish entitled people. I am so sick of being generous and getting taken advantage of, I realize I shouldn't give and expect anything back but what happened to people being reciprocal. Anymore it seems like everyone is all about ME ME ME. I am just plain sick of it. I feel like I have to change myself to protect myself from being used.

My boyfriend moved in with me after only 3 months, I live an hour and half away from his original home. He decided to quit his job and so lived with me for about a month without any income what so ever. I have paid for all the groceries, booze, entertainment, everything for the past month and even prior to that because he was only working 2 days at minimum wage. We had a trip planned last weekend where I spent all of my money because he doesn't get his first paycheck until this weekend.

Last night I was complaining because of how broke i am now and that we need to get groceries. He got all pissed because he thought he would have some money from his paycheck for himself. After all this time he has been saying he would pay me back. I understand he has his own bills but after all the shit I've done you'd think if he was grateful he would make an honest effort to pay me back.

I almost think he is jealous that I make more money. Well, I am not a sugar-momma and we aren't married and it has only been 4 months. I just don't understand some people. How do people get off feeling entitled and selfish. Obviously if he cared he would try to make it right. From now on I am just going to save my money and pretend I am ****ing broke, **** people!

[iamaninnocentma]

sometimes you have to decide what you would rather have. some money in the bank , or a nice bf. you cant have both. and your money wont keep you warm at night or change lightbulbs for you. im sure he ll see you ok when he gets his paycheck. if you carry on this miserness he might leave you.

[qwerqwer]

Ditch him. There are nice men with jobs. Don't be a sugar momma. Have an adult relationship with an adult

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I think you should dump him too. If you really don't want to do that(which you really should), you definitely have to kick him out of your apartment or make him pay rent.

Honestly though, you'd be a ****ing idiot to stay with him if he's like this after only 4 months. I don't feel sorry for you one bit about anything that comes from this situation.

[bluesummer]

Omg this is what I put up with for two years with my ex. Guess what, they NEVER pay you back. Sometimes they'll throw $50 your way and somehow in their mind that makes up for all the money you've put out for them. If you ask them to chip in a little more they get all bitchy about it.

Tell him that as an adult, it is his job to pitch in 50/50 for the household costs. If he doesn't like that, dump his ass. He'll probably agree to it initially but then 'forget' to pay you when it comes time, or just have some 'unexpected costs' that always seem to come up as well. You know what, now that I think about it you might just be better dumping him regardless.

[iamaninnocentma]

a few things you should think about before you dump this leech.
1. does he do other things around the house eg. look after pets, change lightbulbs, is an amazing lover etc
2.are you attractive enough to find another bf, and if so are you prepared to live with someone a little uglier just because he has money.

just though id throw this out there , to balance out the previous "money is everything posters".

[bluesummer]

Money is everything? No it isn't. However, this girl has made it very clear that she cannot afford to pay both their way and she was kind enough to cover him for a month or two. I don't care if he washes the dishes every damn day and scrubs the floor with a toothbrush. That doesn't help pay the bills and put food on the f*cking table.

Also, you don't need to find a bf/gf based on how much money a person has, this is not her real issue anyway. The real issue is her bf is a big d-bag that doesn't feel his money needs to be going towards helping pay the bills. It means he's selfish. That's the issue. She just needs to go find a guy with a better attitude.

[iamaninnocentma]

its because of women like this, that men turn to crime. whats he supposed to do? pull dollas from his ass? if hes poor , hes poor. the real issue isnt about money here. the issue ie , this woman doesnt love her man enough to support him. she says she earns more money than him, so whats the prob if she pays the bills. this poor fella has moved away from home to be with her and all she does is bitch about money. being in a couple is about caring and sharing , and giving and receiving. i dont see a lot of this vibe here.

[bluesummer]

Oh, but he brings in a paycheck and wants to keep it for himself and have her continue paying his way in life? What that makes him is a little bitch. You keep talking about a man needing to be an alpha male, this is the exact f*cking opposite. Real men support their household and love and support their women. If he's so sad about moving away from home to be with her he should move back in with his parents and bleed them dry. There is no "caring and sharing, giving and receiving" here, as you put it. He is just sucking off her like a leech. She makes more money but that doesn't mean she has to pay for everything, holy shit. She's upset because paying for eveything is leaving her broke. He has an obligation to help and if he doesn't he's an asshole because he's not interested in how much stress he's putting her through.

I'm starting to think you are a huge misogynist iaminnocentma. Do you know what that means? I'll let you Google it.

[iamaninnocentma]

it makes me laugh how woman cry because they have to pay for a man for few months. men have been paying for women for centuries. its only the last 50 years that women started working , stealing all the mens jobs, and now they complain that the men have no money. women fought for centuries for equal rights. well sister, this is it. your equality isnt all its cracked up to be , is it. now you all know how men have felt for centuries. in summarry, she has to suck it up. one day she might lose her job and hell have to support her, if they are still together. this is why i said it wasnt about the money, this couple have deeper problems than this. if you cant see that, then you arnt the intelligent poster i had you pegged for.

[Cerby]

it makes me laugh how woman cry because they have to pay for a man for few months. men have been paying for women for centuries. its only the last 50 years that women started working , stealing all the mens jobs, and now they complain that the men have no money. women fought for centuries for equal rights. well sister, this is it. your equality isnt all its cracked up to be , is it. now you all know how men have felt for centuries. in summarry, she has to suck it up. one day she might lose her job and hell have to support her, if they are still together. this is why i said it wasnt about the money, this couple have deeper problems than this. if you cant see that, then you arnt the intelligent poster i had you pegged for.

You sir, are an idiot.

And the OP isn't very bright either. Who moves in with someone after only 3 months? That is simply crazy, you don't even KNOW someone in 3 months (and don't spout off that you do, because you don't). Secondly, as SOON as he stopped working, you should have asked how he planned to pay the bills. Leeching off of you is not acceptable, and you WILL NOT be paid back. You're ranting about entitled people, but only fools get drawn into these situations. You're as much responsible for LETTING it happen as he is for MAKING it happen.

Boot him the f*ck out, move on with your life, don't repeat your mistakes.

Harsh? It needs to be, because it doesn't appear you're willing to take any responsibility for the situation you're in.

[haxan]

Women do some strange things for companionship sometimes.

[bluesummer]

it makes me laugh how woman cry because they have to pay for a man for few months. men have been paying for women for centuries. its only the last 50 years that women started working , stealing all the mens jobs, and now they complain that the men have no money. women fought for centuries for equal rights. well sister, this is it. your equality isnt all its cracked up to be , is it. now you all know how men have felt for centuries..

Stealing all the mens jobs? What? Is that your excuse for why you don't have one?

One day, becuase of the position I'm in, I will likely make more than my husband, and we are both fine with that. I'm also happy to take on a proportionately bigger slice of the bills if my income is that much higher. If he couldn't work I would carry the household no problem.....until he found a job, and he'd be expected to contribute again. That's what equality is.

Men would be the first ones bitching if their women weren't allowed to work, households can't survive on one income anymore and men aren't willing to carry the whole household. This doesn't mean we're required to do a complete role reversal because of the discrimination women faced in the past. If you really want compensation for all the past years where men 'carried the household' then I guess we should be true to the circumstances and men should not be allowed to vote, to have credit in their own name, and they have to serve their wives hand and foot.

[iamaninnocentma]

Stealing all the mens jobs? What? Is that your excuse for why you don't have one?

One day, becuase of the position I'm in, I will likely make more than my husband, and we are both fine with that. I'm also happy to take on a proportionately bigger slice of the bills if my income is that much higher. If he couldn't work I would carry the household no problem.....until he found a job, and he'd be expected to contribute again. That's what equality is.

Men would be the first ones bitching if their women weren't allowed to work, households can't survive on one income anymore and men aren't willing to carry the whole household. This doesn't mean we're required to do a complete role reversal because of the discrimination women faced in the past. If you really want compensation for all the past years where men 'carried the household' then I guess we should be true to the circumstances and men should not be allowed to vote, to have credit in their own name, and they have to serve their wives hand and foot.

erm, i have a job actually. you think raising 2 cats is a holiday camp , while my gf is enjoying herself at work.
the mind boggles wondering what a woman can do that would make her earn more money than her husband,, therefore demasculating him and probably pushing him in to an affair to boost his self esteem. and as for women getting the vote , its the worst thing to ever happen to society. Statistically speaking at any given election 19% of the electorate will be pre mentsrual. is this good for democracy? george bush anyone? i rest my case

[smackie9]

First mistake: moving into together after 3 months. You can't possibly know someone well enough by this time to live together. Due to the lack of knowing what the person is really like because you are so obsessed with them, it gets ugly from stupidity. Time is necessary to develop trust and stability.

Second, this scenario lacks maturity. Living together is a shared responsibility (responsibility being the key word here). So before walking into this, a financial plan should have been set up before to see if living together is possible, like who will pay for what, house keeping chores schedule, and expectations. Fly at the seat of your pants and going by empty promises will make you miss the mark. Him quiting his job? Are you kidding me? In this economy no one should be quitting their job unless they have another one lined up and have money socked away (3 months wadges) just for security.

Lastly you should be saving your money by kicking his ass to the curb because you won't have another mouth to feed. It's only 3 months and he has shown you how much of a wank he is....dump his ass you foolish girl.