Relationship Issues....Need Major Advice/Help...

[wethepeople]

Sooo...my story is fairly long...but I really need advice. I'm pretty confused and scared at this point and here is why...


When I was 17 I started dating a girl...things got pretty serious pretty fast. She was a few months older and had just turned 18...well one night she got kicked out of her house (Her mom is a nut) and I told her that she could come stay with me. Well...my parents were okay with her living with us for a short period of time. We tried to get her back on her feet a bit because she has Siezures and she was on disability until it got cut off. We faught long and hard with lawyers and such....so long that it took about 2 years before we decided just to give up. During those 2 years tentions began getting high between me, her, and my parents. She really wasnt helping around the house or anything...really wasnt motivated to do much of anything...that is until she got a job (Finally). Once she got a job things started getting a bit better...her attitude was better and she was more happy-go-lucky about a lot of stuff...and she was able to help out financially (which was great considering all of the finances were on my parents and I for the past years with all three of us working full time jobs). We were gonna start saving to get out and get our own place but then my car finally kicked the dirt...which meant I needed to get another one. I purchased a car with my money but that set us back a bit...so a few months went by and we were getting on our feet again until I ended up injuring my foot which ended up being about 1000 bucks in hospital bills...which again had set us back. Not too long after that (this is in the very recent past) I found out that I was getting promoted at my job and getting transfered to our other store to be a team leader there. I was a bit scared and excited at first but I started talkin to one of the other managers down at the other store and just so happened she is a girl...We hung out a few times and then...idk..there was just something about this girl..so I called off my 3 year relationship with my long time girlfriend to persue a new life. Now I am at a crossroads...I care about them both and I'm scared that I might be making the wrong decision. I know that my long time girlfriend loves me so much and still....after all this she still supports me. But this new girl has more going for her in the long run...the only bad thing is that she has a kid and I'm not sure if we did get serious that I'm ready to be a dad or what...i mean I love kids and everything I just dont know...


Both girls have baggage...one girl has seizures, cant drive, always has to depend on me...the other one has a kid.


I feel like I gave a good summary of everything so just let me know if ya have any questions. Thanks.

[smackie9]

Take neither. You don't need to be with anyone. Your ex needs to stand on her own two feet and find someone that wants to be nursemaid. The new girl works with you and has a kid.....never date someone you work with. If things get bad, and yes you need to think of things like this, you will find yourself in a bad situation because you will have to see each other at work. How would you be able to function if she dumped you for the new guy or you wanted out of the relationship. Secondly, the kid is part of the package deal, yes if you get serious you will have to fill the role of father figure. If you ain't ready for that then drop the idea of seeing her. I'm sure there will be plenty of other opportunities to find a girl that is more suitable for your relationship expectations. For the best relationship you can get, comes with the responsablility to choose wisely, and not choosing for the conveniece of being in one.

[vashti]

I don't really understand your issue with your girlfriend. She wasn't working before, and now she is, and is contributing. It sounds like your real issue is that you met someone else, and if that is the case, you shouldn't make this about her or her medical issues.

[wethepeople]

I mean...sure it was working with the girl I was with for 3 years...but I felt like it was too much at the end and then realizing that I'm going to have to take care of her for the rest of her life with that issue...and thats tough when your young. Like I said...sure it worked and yeah I can make it work but should I have to just make it work? I know it might sound like I'm justifying everything with her medical issues but I'm truly not....I just am starting to see now that we are split up how much it was on me...and not only that but since I got promoted I cant/wont be able to care for her if I need to be.

[vashti]

Oh, shut the **** up. My daughter has seizures, and in fact even had brain surgery last summer for it. This is NOT about your girlfriend. It's about YOU. Take some responsibility.

Your girlfriend is likely taking medication and is controlled. The majority of people with epilepsy are.

Aside from your inability to accept responsibility for your wandering eye, I don't think you should be with either woman. Both of them are going to need real, grown-up men in their lives. It doesn't sound like you are ready for any real responsibility.

[Boisdevie]

Oh, shut the **** up. My daughter has seizures, and in fact even had brain surgery last summer for it. This is NOT about your girlfriend. It's about YOU. Take some responsibility.

Your girlfriend is likely taking medication and is controlled. The vast majority of people with epilepsy are.

Aside from your inability to accept responsibility for your wandering eye, I don't think you should be with either woman. Both of them are going to need real, grown-up men in their lives. It doesn't sound like you are ready for any real responsibility.

Tell him how it is Vashti. Go girl go.

[Cerby]

My only 2 cents is to agree that you don't date at work, ESPECIALLY not a manager. If you end up her boss or she ends up yours, work becomes a mess. If you break up, you will HATE it there.

Take your head, remove it from your ass, and try to save things with your ex. Anyone with self respect wouldn't take you back though.

[TeeJay19]

Yeah, don't either. You're young, enjoy the single life. It sounds like you're not crazy about going back with you're old girlfriend, I'm sure you still care about her but that relationship has probably run its course. And you said yourself that you're not sure about dating someone with kids. Plus, the other are right, don't date someone you work with.

Neither of these girls seem to be what you're looking for, so why don't you wait for someone who is?