Should you tell a girl youre self conscious of your body?

[nukl92]

I am 20 years old and i met a girl. She is completely gorgeous, great body. She is very outdoorsy and is hard pressing me to go swimming with her or go to the beach or something along those lines the first time we hangout. The problem is, i am VERY self conscious of my body. Im out of shape, love handles and a minor belly, i dont workout. But the biggest problem is that i used to have acne all over my chest, shoulders, and back and that when it went away, it left scarring and it is very unsightly. I usually dont run into this problem when i meet a girl because its usually when im back in college and no one looks to do these kinds of things while in college, but since its summer i guess its different.

i didnt have alot of confidence when i got to college, but i have alot now. ive been doing ok with the ladies and getting by on my good smile and personality. but this is a road block with this girl and idk what to do and im afraid im about to take a shot to my confidence.

ive tried to get her to do something else thats kind of outdoorsy, but nothing where i have to take my shirt off, like going to the zoo. but she said its gonna be too hot out to NOT go swimming. i know ladies love confidence and all that, but even if im confident when i rip that shirt off (hopefully i dont have to) she still might just run in the opposite direction anyway. And i feel that since she is so beautiful that i need to be ripped with washboard abs because she could get any guy she wants.

So how should i play this? Should i really just try to avoid activities like this? Would it be bad to just tell her im self conscious? Or should i try to just swallow my pride and try to exude some confidence and go for it? (thats my LAST option!) Keep in mind i already told her im not into all that outdoorsy stuff, i just obviously am saying that to avoid all this

[nukl92]

I am 20 years old and i met a girl. She is completely gorgeous, great body. She is very outdoorsy and is hard pressing me to go swimming with her or go to the beach or something along those lines the first time we hangout. The problem is, i am VERY self conscious of my body. Im out of shape, love handles and a minor belly, i dont workout. But the biggest problem is that i used to have acne all over my chest, shoulders, and back and that when it went away, it left scarring and it is very unsightly. I usually dont run into this problem when i meet a girl because its usually when im back in college and no one looks to do these kinds of things while in college, but since its summer i guess its different.

i didnt have alot of confidence when i got to college, but i have alot now. ive been doing ok with the ladies and getting by on my good smile and personality. but this is a road block with this girl and idk what to do and im afraid im about to take a shot to my confidence.

ive tried to get her to do something else thats kind of outdoorsy, but nothing where i have to take my shirt off, like going to the zoo. but she said its gonna be too hot out to NOT go swimming. i know ladies love confidence and all that, but even if im confident when i rip that shirt off (hopefully i dont have to) she still might just run in the opposite direction anyway. And i feel that since she is so beautiful that i need to be ripped with washboard abs because she could get any guy she wants.

So how should i play this? Should i really just try to avoid activities like this? Would it be bad to just tell her im self conscious? Or should i try to just swallow my pride and try to exude some confidence and go for it? (thats my LAST option!) Keep in mind i already told her im not into all that outdoorsy stuff, i just obviously am saying that to avoid all this

[Lostinlove777]

Be proud of who you are. Confidence is the key to attraction. Get fit if you like, there is no downside to that. If she's superficial and it's a problem for her, telling her you're sensitive about it isn't going to make things better, just the opposite. There are lots of girls in this world. Be yourself, if she likes you, you got nothing to worry about. She obviously likes you enough to go out with you.

[Boisdevie]

1. Change the things you can change = workout and lose the flab.
2. Accept the things you can't change - if you're worried about the acne scars talk to her about it. Because if you guys stay together she's going to see them sooner or later isn't she?

[nukl92]

well, we actually met online. shes seen a few pics of me, but they werent really of the body. she told me how cute i was and stuff, but i feel like she hasnt really seen all of me and it scares me. i cant get fit in 3 days lol. i need a quick fix right now and i can worry about getting fit after this little predicament. at this point im just trying to find ways to avoid it

[nukl92]

for #1 i cant really change that by saturday lol. i need a quick fix
and #2 i met her online so shes only seen a few pics of me. she told me how cute i was, but she didnt see all of me and im scared she will be superficial because she has the looks to be a bikini model and shes outdoorsy. that usually screams wanting a guy thats fit

im just trying to avoid it right now, but i feel like its gonna come to a point of either i tell her or not. idk what to do

[Asip4u]

well, we actually met online. shes seen a few pics of me, but they werent really of the body. she told me how cute i was and stuff, but i feel like she hasnt really seen all of me and it scares me. i cant get fit in 3 days lol. i need a quick fix right now and i can worry about getting fit after this little predicament. at this point im just trying to find ways to avoid it

Someone told me earlier that it's good to post crappier pics of yourself then when you meet up (and if she's still into you) the other person can be surprised(in a good way). You should have told her/showed her so you can see if she's really that much about looks.

[TeeJay19]

Just be perfectly honest about your body before hand if you're that worried about it. It doesn't even have to be a serious conversation, a little self-depreciating humor is never a bad thing. Just be like "Hey, I'd love to go swimming, but just a heads up, I'm not exactly an athlete." If you can laugh at yourself and make her think you don't care about it then she probably won't either. Confidence usually trumps any physical issues you might have.

If she doesn't want to be with you because of you're body then she's not the girl for you anyways and you'll avoid wasting anymore time with her.

[nukl92]

Someone told me earlier that it's good to post crappier pics of yourself then when you meet up (and if she's still into you) the other person can be surprised(in a good way). You should have told her/showed her so you can see if she's really that much about looks.

hmm. i guess thats a good idea. but i mean, she only say like 2 pics and already wanted to meet up. so she cant be all about looks if she didnt wanna see more right?

[nukl92]

Just be perfectly honest about your body before hand if you're that worried about it. It doesn't even have to be a serious conversation, a little self-depreciating humor is never a bad thing. Just be like "Hey, I'd love to go swimming, but just a heads up, I'm not exactly an athlete." If you can laugh at yourself and make her think you don't care about it then she probably won't either. Confidence usually trumps any physical issues you might have.

If she doesn't want to be with you because of you're body then she's not the girl for you anyways and you'll avoid wasting anymore time with her.

hmm, thats actually a really good idea!! thank u! surprised i didnt think of that myself lol. but i think thats because i was trying to think of any other way then to be telling her anything about my body.

the last ext she sent me was, what about a water park? i ignored it until i started getting responses, but werent getting any. so i made a joke about lets go fishing lol. so ill just wait for her to respond then throw a joke about my body in there. thank u, that was really helpful!

[TeeJay19]

hmm, thats actually a really good idea!! thank u! surprised i didnt think of that myself lol. but i think thats because i was trying to think of any other way then to be telling her anything about my body.

the last ext she sent me was, what about a water park? i ignored it until i started getting responses, but werent getting any. so i made a joke about lets go fishing lol. so ill just wait for her to respond then throw a joke about my body in there. thank u, that was really helpful!

No problem. I hope everything works out for you

[nukl92]

No problem. I hope everything works out for you

ok, so we're talking it. a little more than i had hoped tho. after i said that she didnt know what i meant, so i explained that im not mr muscles. so then she asked me for a pic and i told her i hope shes not that worried about looks. she said no, shes just curious. i told her, im not basing u off looks and im not a fatty, just not in shape and i dont like taking pics of myself. and she just asked for one pic with my face and shirt off. so, i guess im probly gonna do it. but my question is, do i just do a straight up mirror pic and show her exactly what im working with, or try to construe it and make it look not so bad??

[nukl92]

well, i made a joke about not being mr muscles and stuff. she asked for a pic. and i asked if she was that worried about looks. she said no, shes just curious. so then i told her, well im not basing u off just looks and that im not a fatty or anything, im just outta shape and i really dont like to take pics of myself. so then she asked for just one pic of me with my face and with my shirt off. so i guess im probly gonna have to do it. so my question, do i just take a straight up pick and show here exactly what to expect, or try to construe it a little bit so its not so bad looking??

[TeeJay19]

Just be completely honest, don't try and hide anything. She's going to see you shirtless eventually so you might as well show her the real you. You don't really have anything to lose at this point, you haven't even met this girl yet. And like I said before, if she doesn't want to be with you because of you're body then she's not the girl for you anyways and you can avoid wasting anymore time with her.

Good luck.

[Asip4u]

For most people as long as they like something(appearance wise) about the other person they don't care if other things aren't that great. In this case she thinks you have a cute face and that is probably enough. Take a pic (i'd make sure it's not too close but not too far away either) and send it to her.