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Thread: For 30 year old guys who are mid-career professionals

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    For 30 year old guys who are mid-career professionals

    Guys, if you are in the 30s and have a busy lifestyle coping with work, what is your take in relationship? Would you super super invested or like a woman so much that you contact her every day like what you did during your teenage years? I have heard those deep, romantic love slowl dies away as guys age... Is it true for you? Do you behave in a calm manner and only chat her up every other days when you are free? Becos you still have to handle nasty situations at work... So work is
    top priority. Is this relationship healthy?

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    The deep, romantic love that you are envisioning is just the infatuation phase early in a relationship. In a good long-term relationship, that feeling is eventually replaced by more of a calm, steady happiness together. Quality of interaction becomes more important than quantity. Sometimes work needs to be a top priority, or you lose the job, and financial problems can become relationship problems.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

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    Thanks for that! I've been wondering because well the couples around me all have their partners contacting them on a frequent basis - like every day. Okay not that mine isn't.. Mine is every other days randomly. He told me he had difficult times, couldn't afford the chatting and I really understand that, just that it bothers me sometimes. At the beginning before rs, we used to chat super a lot because he wasn't at the peak of his career yet, but now he has, and that kinda interaction all faded into a calm water. But others may argue, shouldn't it be more wanting to contact each other more? Yeah, so that's the question that's been burning in my mind. I guess you helped to answer my question and that eases my mind. I think I should think it as a healthier way... So thanks!

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    Communication is important, but once established, it doesn't need to be constant. Sometimes a relationship can even fail when one person gets too clingy, or if the couple is spending too much time together. It's a balancing act in the long run. Some breathing room, but not so much space that the two of you drift apart.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

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    You blow my mind vinceo, if i was gay or a woman, id feel lucky to have a dude like you. such wiseness.

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    Some guys just don't like communicating all the time. And some guys find some ways of communicating better than others. I don't like texting that much and prefer MSN. And I can't yadder yadder on the phone forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Boisdevie View Post
    Some guys just don't like communicating all the time. And some guys find some ways of communicating better than others. I don't like texting that much and prefer MSN. And I can't yadder yadder on the phone forever.
    msn,lol . what are you? 12?
    Real men phone women for 2 reasons, sex or food, anything else is just faggotry.

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    I'm 40 now, but sometimes I still get that infatuation. But I will contact her every other day, sometimes send an email once a day, or a funny email joke.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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    Quote Originally Posted by iamaninnocentma View Post
    msn,lol . what are you? 12?
    Real men phone women for 2 reasons, sex or food, anything else is just faggotry.
    lol. ive missed some good stuff today.
    -to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.- e.e.cummings

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    The OP is a chick.

    If a guy won't hustle for you early in a relationship, it won't get any better later. Some guys put work above everything (including family) and its often ingrained in them. If you are the type that will resent him for this (vs. enjoying the other benefits that come with this), then you best move along now.

    That's not a criticism, btw. Some women need more sentiment and attention than others. There's a price to pay either way you go. Same for guys who choose high-powered women, it goes both ways.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    The OP is a chick.

    If a guy won't hustle for you early in a relationship, it won't get any better later. Some guys put work above everything (including family) and its often ingrained in them. If you are the type that will resent him for this (vs. enjoying the other benefits that come with this), then you best move along now.

    That's not a criticism, btw. Some women need more sentiment and attention than others. There's a price to pay either way you go. Same for guys who choose high-powered women, it goes both ways.
    you and vinceo should get married, and then adopt me.

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    Vince & I only happen to agree w/each other on this. I think our parenting philosophy differs, tho if I remember.

    Why do you need adopting, tho?
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    Vince & I only happen to agree w/each other on this. I think our parenting philosophy differs, tho if I remember.

    Why do you need adopting, tho?
    He probably wants a spanking. Which you won't give him, IIRC.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

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    oh no, can of worms, lol

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    I don't think I need a lot of attention, but if I am regularly dating one man, I would like for him to AT LEAST shoot me a quick text message at the end of the day, saying good night. I don't want to be smothered, though.

    Also, I would spank iamaninnocentman, but only because he isn't related to me.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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