I became uglier as I grew up

[Riko2011]

I hate the way I look. Seriously, when I look at the mirror, I don't think I am pretty at all. I won't say I am ugly, because I am not that bad compared to some others. I'm pretty bad though. Guys do ask me out but most of the time, if not all, they just like me for my personality. It's not like its a bad thing or anything, since they are the ones who treat me the best. I'm just not looking for someone my age. I'm currently 18 and I want to date someone more mature. I went on dates with 22 year old before but it never works out. It's like they don't find me attractive or anything. I used to look prettier back when I was 16 (I know this because I get asked out not a lot, but a good amount of guys, and the guys who I like actually likes me back.) There was this one guy who I use to date casually (nothing serious, just friends hangout). He is 3 years older than me and I was in the friend zone for a while when I was 15. Then 10th grade came along and I contacted him again to help me with my school work (he was a father figure kind of guy to me). We met at the library for the first time in 8 months and I can tell by the look he gave me when he walked in that he looks at me differently. I went up and say hi to him and stuff. The way he talks to me is different from when I was 15. He talks to me in a way like we are both adults now, and not a kid and a adult. When I left the library and went home, he text me and told me that I looked prettier and stuff like that.Then he asked me out to the movies, but I didn't go because I don't have feelings for him anymore. We didn't talk for a while anymore because things got a bit awkward between us. I happen to bump into him at a restaurant yesterday and he was with his friend. I feel like I looked ugly because he didn't say much to me. I know that it have nothing to do with me rejecting him though (I've know him for 5 years and I know him well). I think it is because I am not as attractive anymore. I also know this because his friend didn't even try to say hi. I don't know what happened but I just went from ugly duckling to pretty then back to ugly again. I feel so self conscious of myself now. When I came back home, I looked at the photos I took when I was younger and realized that I have really turned uglier. I've slept really late these past years because of projects and homework. Sometimes I will sleep at 5 or even worse, pull all nighter. Most of the times, I sleep at 2. I don't know if that is the problem because I've always slept late since freshmen year have started. I don't know why it is effecting me now and not when I was younger. Also, I sometimes just eat cup noodles (my mom and dad comes home at around 10) when I don't have the time to cook.) Sometimes, I wonder if it is because of sodium I consume....=( I tried to eat more fruit and sleep more now but it is not changing much. -_- I hate myself and sometimes I just want to do plastic surgery. Even though I have these thoughts, I will never do that because I want to be natural.

Do people really change when they grow up? Like their bone structures or the fat in the face?

Does sleeping late and eating a lot of sodium really effect the way you look?
My eyes used to be bigger and prettier. Now my eyes feel small and gloomy. =[

[smackie9]

His reaction to you has nothing to do with the way you look. You rejected him, and so he has no reason to say hi to you....he wrote you off long ago. What makes you unattractive is your sh itty attitude about yourself. Poor diet and lack of sleep is what affects you mentally. It can also cause depression. Maybe you should go see your doctor for a check up. There might be a health issue that could be contributing to the way you are feeling.

[dem862]

Can you post a picture?

[Cerby]

His reaction to you has nothing to do with the way you look. You rejected him, and so he has no reason to say hi to you....

This is exactly it. He doesn't want to be your friend, and is clearly showing that. Stop playing the "I'm so ugly and a victim of life" card, you get asked out and you still question it. First world problems.

[Riko2011]

I understand what you guys are trying to say. It's just that we still message each other sometimes in between the 2 year period. It's not like he is mad or anything. I won't say that he won't talk to me because I rejected him. And he really didn't ask me out formally, he might just meant going to movies as friends. Also, I knew because I've looked at my older pictures. I knew because the way he act, and I know him by his actions. We are neighbors for 5 years and I know what type of person he is. He is the type of person who sees someone ugly and won't say anything or comment about it like some other people. He will still be nice to them, in a friend zone way. And I can feel that when I see him yesterday, because we've hung out together in the past and I've seen him act around non-attractive women. I can feel that he treats me like one of them.

[smackie9]

Oh well that's his tough s hit then if he is disrespectful...if that what it comes down to then his opinon should mean nothing to you. You show the typical signs of depression...your view of everything is negative and I feel you are over reacting.

Anyways he did like you because guys don't show an interest unless they are interested....I know you knew it because you even said you didn't feel that way about him so stop making up excuses.

[vashti]

Everyone loses their looks as they age; it's just that it happens to some people sooner than others. I don't know if you are as unattractive as you imagine, and I don't think it really matters all that much anyway. You will suit *someone's* taste at some point. The thing you need to work on is personal development, because that you CAN control, and your personality will attract more people than your looks, anyway.

[Esther20]

Thanks for your post