Saw my ex today and don't know if he has interest again. His body language?

[Lava]

My ex and I have been on better terms since the break up. It happened a little over a month ago. We don't talk every day and hadn't much but the past couple weeks have been talking slightly more. Well I asked what he was doing Friday just out of curiosity and he suggested hanging out this weekend. We met up today and he was wearing a shirt I gave him from when we went out.

He saw me and had a huge smile on his face and hugged me, a tight hug and it was a long hug. After some point I was going to pull away but he then squeezed me tighter, so the hug went on a little longer and then ended. We wandered around all day We'd talk about random things, when we'd talk we'd kind of have some glances and smile. If he made a joke he'd look at me to see my reaction. Then went to his grandparents house, then his house. His parents were happy to see me.

At one point we got hungry so we went into Wawa and he asked me what I wanted. I just wanted a pudding. As he was ordering his sandwich he asked if I wanted a smoothie since he knew I always liked them so I got one. When the smoothie was ready I picked it up both of my hands were full at that point. He grabbed the straw and unwrapped it and pointed it towards my mouth for me to take it and I did with my teeth and said "thanks".

Before we left Wawa he was about to grab my hand but stopped himself. Then we walked over to sit somewhere and he ate while I finished up my drink. Then he suggested "do you want to keep walking now?" so we were going to start to walk again and he almost grabbed my hand again but then stopped himself and nervously said "oh, uhmmm, let me see that. I just wanted to try your smoothie."

At his house we later played some xbox. We shared the controller since it's a one player game. When we passed the controller or would do something in the game we'd have longer gazes at each other. We were laughing and joking still. At one point he said he was going downstairs and asked if I wanted a snack. I said no thanks and continued with the game. He came back upstairs and walked in the room and surprised me and held a brownie under my nose/face.

Before I left (he was going to drive me home) he said "tonight was nice, we can hang out again sometime". We talked a little more then out of nowhere he hugged me again. And it was another really long hug, his breathing was a slightly faster, and it was silent as we hugged. I can be really random sometimes, but both of us always were so I blurted out after some time "you still smell nice" and he kind of laughed and said "thank you" and pulled away from the hug still sort of holding me smiling, our faces were really close and he looked into my eyes and said "ok now let's go" though his eyes seemed kind of watery.

I was fine with him, didn't feel nervous or emotional at all. It was interesting and I actually had a nice time. But I almost didn't know how to feel to see that pictures of me and him together were still in his house. In his room the picture he had of us by his bed is put on another shelf/tilted down. But he still has hanging up a picture I drew of us together, still has saved the huge box from a box of Valentine's candy I got him, still has all the cards I ever gave him sitting on the same shelf too. Also that he was wearing a shirt I got him. And how he acted towards me, his body language in some cases in particular. Those long couple hugs we had, the gazes and random smiley glances at each other, he told me what was going on in his life (like what happened as a result of a suspension he had in February) how he's seeing one of his best friends he hasn't seen in years tomorrow, how he'd try to make me laugh/smile and would look at me to see my reaction, how a couple times he almost went to grab my hand, that random brownie he surprised me with, It was sort of a bit confusing. I don't know what to think of it all. He seems interested through his body language (nothing sexual by the way) but I don't want to get my hopes up? Thoughts on all of this/what do to?

[zaccarus]

It sounds like he is into you and possibly wants to reconcile the relationship but do you?

I know it may sound harsh but he is an ex for a reason, I know people can change but he is still an ex.

You have to make the decision as to what you want but take things slow either way.

[Boisdevie]

Address the reasons why you split up. Was it your decision to split or his?

[Lava]

He decided to end it. I wasn't completely expecting him to end it when it happened, I was very upset the day we broke up because it seemed to happen out of nowhere because all before that he was still being nice to me. He cried too as it ended. It was actually pretty impulsive. But then in my time alone away from him I later came to terms how I wasn't thinking it had been working out lately as well anyway. I wasn't as happy and he was stressed about a lot of things too and it took a toll on us both. It didn't end in some argument or pleading or begging but after some time apart we re-established communication on kinder terms (which it's been that way for a couple weeks now). Yesterday was the first time I saw him since we broke up. We haven't yet discussed the break up together.


Through text, he hasn't initiated contact too much, though will talk to me if I start a conversation and has started a few conversations on his own if I was specific about when to talk to me, he has not ignored me, and it'll be decent length responses. Talking to him through text sometimes can see a little odd but in person (well it was the 1st time I seen him in person since it happened) he acted different with the things he'd do, and towards me his body language especially. Those long hugs, the smiles, the glances, the little things he did like that brownie, the straw thing with the smoothie, almost going for my hand twice. We were playing that game (Skyrim) and he knows I like purple. He randomly was like "There's a purple tree in the game and it's really pretty, do you want me to show you it?".

There was nothing even remotely sexual between us yesterday. There was no kissing, no cuddles. We would sit closer in some situations, though not like he'd have his arm over me or any of that more comfortable closeness, he seemed a bit nervous sometimes and would adjust where he'd sit a lot, sometimes it'd be a little closer, but then he'd move a little more back or to a different spot to sit. He never did hold my hand because I didn't expect it, I just kind of looked at him and he'd try to play it off kinda fast. There wasn't obvious flirting but some of the looks or how I'd kind of joke with him over random things that'd happen that day was a little.

We weren't physically close at all other than when he was showing me that video online for a game when he offered for me to sit he rested his hand on my shoulder/back to sort of guide me into the seat. And the time we hugged when we met up and then the hug he randomly hugged me before I left.

I want to see where things go. I planned to hold off on any talk about the past relationship unless he brings it up or shows more signs. He mentioned hanging out again some time so maybe he'd ask me at some point, or talk to me a bit more on his own accord, especially if he'd want to see me again.

He had things of mine still around his house like pictures and other items. I figured if he was completely anticipating moving on and being done with everything/me then he would have also put everything away or gotten rid of it. Wearing a shirt I got him yesterday, that was also just another sign I think. I had gotten rid of everything he had given me except for a couple pieces of jewelry I had liked. I don't wear them but have them. As for clothing and pictures and everything else you could think of I returned to him on a box, which he still has somewhere. Though I kept the things his parents gave me and will wear the pajamas or shirts they gave me since his parents didn't do anything to me.

If we hang out again I'd possibly try flirting just a little more, maybe seeing what longer gazes could do also. After a certain point or more than a few seconds I'd look away but I was curious what'd happen if I kept eye contact for longer than 5 seconds. I'd keep note of the things he'd do or his body language again. I'll see how things go or if he will contact me more on his own now. He can be kind of shy though, and reserved when he's unsure of how things will go (I know that for a fact) so I'll have to see what happens. I feel like regardless if he started having more interest or feeling more comfortable then he'd regardless show it more and more. Unless he's THAT afraid of being rejected? I don't know. I just have to see.

My family isn't too thrilled though that I saw him yesterday. They were kind of suspicious. They don't want me to get hurt again. And I am sort of being cautious too about all of this. But I can’t make everyone happy and my family is just trying to look out for me. But they can’t believe I saw him yesterday, they’re kind of mad. They said “you can make your own mistake if you date again” and how they don’t want him in our house, they don’t want him at any family functions, they want nothing to do with him if we go out again. They literally said they hated him, I don’t think they’d change their minds about it ever.

I am going to be 20 yrs old, I can make my own choices. I would want to see if it would work out a second time. but it’s a lot of pressure to think about what’d be right to do. I don’t want to make a stupid decision and have my family think I am stupid for doing so, and then if I got back together with him, the trust would totally have to be re-established because now it’s hard to trust him or if this would just happen all over again. If he ever brings up getting back together or if we talk about it and did, I'd have to bring up how the break up happened was totally unexpected and not the best approach (since he lead me on to think it was ok before it happened) then I'd have to say how he needs to respect my feelings and how we need to communicate more with each other about things.

If we worked it out I'd have to deal with my family being unhappy about it. It's kind of confusing of what I should do.

[caligirl23]

If your family sees you happy and sees how things have come around, then they may be more receptive. They are just being protective. Let them feel they way they need to. They will come around when the time if right.

[Lava]

Thanks! It's just they seem so negative now, they don't want me getting hurt which I understand.

I don't know if we would get back together or not. I'm seeing where things go, seeing if he contacts me. If not I figured by Wednesday I could? Although unless anyone suggests I just wait and see if he contacts me first?

[Lava]

We talk sometimes, it seems every few days are so. but I felt like I have initiated a lot of the contact since things have been on better terms, though a few times he has on his own, but it never seemed random, it’d mostly be when I’d tell him specifically when to. Though if I text him or contact him he never ignores me, talks, and they’re nice/lengthy conversations. Otherwise on his own I’d always say “text me whenever you want ” and days would go by and he wouldn’t.

But I brought that up when I saw him Saturday, I wasn’t complaining or rude about it but it was kind of in a joking way, which he knows my humor and he said "well I wouldn't text you like every day. wouldn't that seem desperate? so I'd just text you later in the week" ... Which I guess he was sort of saying he didn’t/doesn’t want to appear desperate so maybe that’s why.

So at times it’s confusing, I think he has some feelings though and may regret it based on how he was around me, though I am not sure, I have some feelings too but don’t know how to go about any of this. I don’t know if he’s just being shy (cause he can be) or if he’s afraid of moving too fast or what could happen or what’s going on. I don’t know how he exactly feels. So at times it’s almost a little discouraging so I can at times also think “forget it!”. I’m trying to see where things go yet not getting my hopes up too high just in case. Overall it’s just like I don’t know how to go about everything sometimes, and it can be confusing, so I can have that “it seems pointless, forget it” attitude. It may be worth a shot though. I won’t know til I figure out how to approach it all more as time goes on.

[James87]

Thanks for your post.

[James87]

Good luck!
many thanks

[Lava]

In all my wondering 3 days after I saw him and 3 days since we had talked he contacted me yesterday and we had a nice/random conversation. I didn't expect him to.

I still keep trying not to get my hopes up too high, even though it may seem promising based on some of the body language he displayed with me, that he has interest again, it's just one of those things that will be clearer the more time goes on. In that time I also need to evaluate what's best for myself too, as in if taking him back is really something I'd want, if that'd happen. Despite having some feelings again for him, I'd have to consider if it's right . I know if reconciliation ever truly occurred with him then that's the time to work things out though then again people in situations like that need to evaluate if it's worth it since there's the stigma of "your ex is an ex for a reason".

Has anyone successfully gotten back together with an ex bf/gf?

[caligirl23]

I have gotten back with and ex, but in the end, it didn't work out. Too many differences. But, if we hadn't, I always would have wondered if he was the one who got away. He ended it first and the second round, I ended it and never looked back. It's hard to say what will happen. Truth is, you could be the most wonderful woman in the world and if the man's "light switch" isn't "on" and he isn't receptive to a reconciliation, he will never see you for that. You can rack your brain about what you will do and what will happen, but ultimately, unless he tells you that he wants to get back together, you will never know what his true intentions are.
'

[Lava]

I'm sorry it didn't work out! But at least you tried and saw and got the closure you needed if inevitably you learned it wasn't right.

I was confused how he felt, it was like mixed signals cause he seems to care, still has all my stuff I gave him from when we were dating in his house/room and still wears things I gifted him, will be nice to me seem interested so last time I saw him, which was Friday I brought up the break up to gauge how he feels. I felt I had to bring it up because I was lost as to how he felt.

He repeated all the same reasons why he doesn't want to be in a relationship that he's so overwhelmed right now with things in his life that he can't be with me or anyone right now. He told me he doesn't want to be with any other girl and isn't talking to other girls which I do believe, even when we were dating he didn't talk to any other girl like that.

For whatever reason he doesn't want a "serious" relationship right now even though we had already been in one for those couple years. I can't change his mind.

He told me I was like his "best friend"... Best friend? Hearing that made me uncomfortable.

When we first broke up he told me he wasn't going anywhere, that we could remain friends, how he didn't know what the future holds but that right now he just can't be with anyone and doesn't want to be. But I know I shouldn't wait for him. I had been working on moving on, and was doing well, so after still hearing the same reasoning for why it's over and how he's still just not wanting a relationship despite still showing he cares it's been harder. He will talk to me if I send him things, he enjoys talking to me, and enjoys seeing me, sometimes he will start conversations too if a few days pass and we don't talk. When I last saw him and told him I wasn't even sure if being friends was something I could handle, it seemed to bother him, like it seemed like he doesn't want me to NOT be apart of his life, yet just with everything else apparently going on with him he doesn't feel like he's ready for a serious relationship "yet" (even though we already were in one for 2 years).

I just, he has to know what it’s REALLY like with out me. Did I mention how when we were talking about the break up I asked "do you ever look back on what we had or how things were and miss them? Or miss me at all?" and he said "I do look back, and it was all really nice! But I am here with you right now"... He's taking me for granted that I am still around. I need to just totally move on, it’s not even worth it and I just wind up getting frustrated anyway nearly every time I try.

[shadclads]

there is no recipe for getting ex back.. may be body language.. may be other things. it depends on each particular case.. don't get advices about that by using websites like http://www.howtogetyourexback.com . try to understand by yourself if he gets you any signals. good luck

[iamaninnocentma]

brilliant lol ^^