Hanging out with female friends alone

[smackie9]

Ya how can you say he was right for you when he didn't fulfill your expectations as a BF? You are being silly. From our perspective he ain't all that......You will see it when the feelings finally dissipate. You will look back on this and say to yourself "What the hell was I thinking?"

[searock]

Because if he wanted me back I would take him back in a second, but he doesn't want me back.

That's part of the incompatibility: you want something, he wants something else. He treated you poorly and you did the right thing by pointing it out to him. I repeat, be glad that he's gone and move on already.

[Wakeup]

I just wasn't good enough for him, simple as that and in the end he was just fed up of me and wanted rid of me I guess. I don't really blame him but it still hurts a lot.

At first I just thought you were naive. Now, after reading that, I think you need professional help with your lack of self-worth. "I just wasn't good enough for him" WHAT? Sorry but you need a swift kick in U ass.

[JustPassing]

At first I just thought you were naive. Now, after reading that, I think you need professional help with your lack of self-worth. "I just wasn't good enough for him" WHAT? Sorry but you need a swift kick in U ass.

Yeah I've had a lot of therapy but so far hasn't really helped me. My last therapist pretty much told me I was a lost cause (no those weren't her exact words before you ask me, but I know thats what she meant and I tend to agree with her) But still, I'm trying really hard to move on, been talking to a lot of new guys and trying really hard to move forward in my life with new interests etc. I just wish my ex didn't haunt my thoughts so much.. *sighs* Oh well, it just takes longer for some to move on I guess and I already know I'm a pretty messed up soul.

Still, sorry, didn't mean to push this thread off on a tangent to my own inner psychological turmoil. Back to the OPs situation. I do agree that if you are uncomfortable with your bf's behavior that you should talk to them about it. I just know from experience that it matters HOW you talk to someone about things like this, especially if you know they are sensitive and especially if your emotions are overwhelming you and you aren't thinking clearly about the possible consequences of saying things in the wrong way, at the wrong time. I know everyone has to learn from experience, but I really wish I had spent more time thinking about what I was going to say after my ex accused me of being clingy during my incident, because I responded from anger and frustration in the moment, and that caused a chasm in my life that likely can never be repaired. If I had just waited and thought about my response me and my ex might still be together now.

[cheeky&sexy]

Hey guys, just an update, i really do NOT believe he cheated after i spoke with him and his step dad together last night and then alone with my boyfriend after. So turns out some details were left vague in the beginning, unless i'm being lied to. Apparantly when my bf was in the room with the girl, his whole family were in the room right outside his door and were making jokes about it, and then the brother's gf made some nasty remark, passing it off as a joke, saying that he was cheating on me. My boyfriend also said that he was in the lounge room originally when his friend came over, but then his brother and girlfriend came in the room and so they want to his room to get away from them. They only have that one loungeroom and it's a tiny house. To the person who said that if his own brother thinks his cheating, his probably cheating - my boyfriend and his brother are not close, they barely speak, they actually don't really like each other after a whole lot of drama.His brother is an ass who would cheat, probably has, so i can understand his assumption from his perspective.

Their step dad explained to me that the reason my boyfriend didn't confront his brother or the gf, or want me to do it, was because he (step dad) asked my boyfriend not to. Because they've had a lot of drama the past few months and only just now are things starting to be more civil and they've only recently started speaking. So the step dad asked my boyfriend to wait on the confrontation until he can plan a meeting with all of us together to say our peice. I asked why my boyfriend didn't just tell me it was the step dad who didn't want him to, they reckon he just didn't want to look like a woose to me after i already called him weak.. pfft lol i'm iffy on this whole excuse.

This meeting was meant to happen the past two nights but hasn't happened because my bf's brother's gf is avoiding it and keeps making excuses as to why she can't come over. So i spoke to my boyfriend about my issues with him spending time with girls alone, and he was very understanding about it. He said he had no idea how this made me feel and that most of his male friends are asses which is why he prefers female friends. Which i believe based on everything his ever told me about his guy friends, they ditch him without saying anything to get laid, they're his old single buddies. He said none of his male friends want to really get to know him other than in a club, so when someone (which obviously tends to be a girl) shows an interest in getting to know him as a friend outside of a club, he wants to hang out. He apologised and agreed that he won't hang out alone with girls again and said that the only reason he goes to clubs without me is cause i'm not usually keen on going, and it's usually the only way he can see his friends. I do sympathise with that and so i suggested that i'll come to the club more often to make an effort to get to know his friends, and i won't get drunk to avoid fighting. He also said that he hadn't really thought he was doing anything wrong because before me he was single for like 3 years, and he was always hanging out with girls alone, often just as friends. But then when we got together he apologised for not really thinking that that's not something he should be doing anymore, because he just sees them as friends. I don't think he did anything, the way the situation was handled is what made it seem shady.

JustPassing- no problem lol i don't mind at all if other people, including yourself, want to discuss their own situations in here. Your advice has really helped me, so thanks. In regards to your situation, it sounds like it just wasn't meant to be and someone better is in store for the future. Don't blame yourself for a second, it wasn't your fault your not together, it's his and he just isn't the right guy for you.Im sorry to hear you think you weren't good enough for him. I used to think that about my first love, that he chose someone else over me cause i wasn't good enough. But once you are with the right person, who builds up your self worth, you will realise that it has nothing to do with being good enough for someone. One persons ideal women is different from anothers, none is better or worse.