Guy that keeps texting!!

[rgonz124]

Hi everybody

Here's my story, I met my girlfriend 5 years ago, we went out for 6 months, she broke up with me. A year after we met up at the beach and realize that there still was a spark there.

I've been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years now, during this time there is being this guy Sean who is always texting and calling her (approx. every two months), sometimes she never answers his text, but in a couple occasions we were having an argument and she told him about it, and texted with him for a while. She even met with him at college by "mistake" one day that she was on her way to class and told him about the fight and everything

After that time she just answered him a few more times (just when she "thought" he wanted to talk and being friendly), but I've seen the texts and he is always flirting with her and getting involve in my relationship(ex. you shouldn't be with that guy, etc).

She was really sorry and I forgave her, due to the fact that she came up to me a told me about it... But unfortunatelly, for the past months he's being looking for her at college, texts, emails, phonecalls, etc. I was very respectuful and texted him to please leave her alone and that he is disrespecting me for getting involve in my relationship. Aftwards, he didn't look for her for 2 months, but once again he is calling her and sending her text messages to say:"hey whats up?", or "what are you doing?"

I really want to know what to do? Its making me really uncomfortable and all my grilfriend's doing is not answering him. But he doesn't stop!!
All I can think its that I wanna met up with that guy Sean and tell him to his face to get lost. (Im not a fighter but Im losing my temper everytime he texts)

Oh and by the way, their story started on highschool, which I dont mind, they used to flirt with each other and during that year we weren't together, theu went one twice (thats what she told me) and made out with him once, but she didn't like him that much.

Sometime I think she still likes him physically, specially when we are having problems.

What do you think I should do? or maybe, What do you think SHE should do? because its really getting on my nerves that all she does is not to text him back, but still, he looks for her a lot, and a couple of times in the past she was just angry and sad, that ended up talking to him.

please be honest with me

[Dylanesque]

Hi Rgonz,
There are two courses of action you can take
1] Be cool ,ignore the fact she will have male friends which she will if shes attractive.Get a few "girlfriends" yourself ,clearly it would be double standards if your GF gets annoyed about this
2)Tell her to cease contact with this guy otherwise your finished,seems to me she is using him and playing a little game with you .Sounds like most of the power within this relationship is mostly hers,this is unattractive and she will probably lose interest with you in the end.
Anyhow Good Luck

[Cubby]

You say your girl doesn't write him back - why doesn't she block his # altogether?
If she does, then that shows you she doesn't want him to contact her at all - and as a result there will be nothing to frustrate you.
If she doesn't, then that means she still likes the ego boost she gets when he tries to contact her - and she's choosing that over your feelings.

[surfhb]

She basically ignores the guy dude! Grow a pair of balls and forget about it or your chick will be off finding a real man before you realize what's happening

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Stop talking to the guy about this, first of all. That makes you look really weak.

Start detaching, and seriously start looking for another girl, and don't hide it from your g/f. Don't throw it in her face, but if she asks who you're texting at 11pm, just say it's some girl you met at <insert place here> and leave it at that. When she gets all pissy and presses you for more, just tell her that she seems to be keeping her options open, so you're doing the same.

She has to realize that you're willing to leave her over this. Nothing says that better than another girl, or initiating a break up conversation.

[smackie9]

It's obvious she still has an attchment to the guy, if she didn't you wouldn't be having this conversation with her about it all the time right? I'm sure you already have told her to block his number and cut off contact with him. It's obvious she is still giving him a reason to keep coming around. I bet when you guys had that fight, she probably told him that your relationship was not so good, which people tend to say to keep them hoping that there will be a break up. That's why he called a few months later ...to see if you two were still together. Even if you give her an ultimatum, she will just hide it from you. It's obvious she isn't 100% committed to this relationship.

[rgonz124]

Thanks to everybody!

I think she likes that ego boost she get every time he texts, but I recently let her know she could lose me if he continues texting. Also, I asked her if she doesnt get mad every time he texts (due to the fact that every time he texts, he have to talk and fight about it)... she answerd YES, that its sucks that because of him we need to have an argument every month (other that the ones that every couple has)

Moreover, she says she is comfrotable the ways things are (ignoring him), but she is willing to block his number just because she knows how mad I feel everytime that guy calls or texts.
One of you guys said:"It's obvious she isn't 100% committed to this relationship. "... well, I'll keep that in mind, I guess I'll have to wait to see how everything goes from now on... She is willing to block his number, she expressed me her anger towards him, and she is willing to talk about it without being so defensive.

If you need to give me and extra comment, feel free to do it! thanks

[lister79]

Your in a better situation than me mate. If mine was willing to block and ignore the t**t she keeps texting I wouldn't be bothered and would definately feel she is with me. It sounds like she values your relationship, maybe she likes the attention a bit or that it keeps you on your toes, but by agreeing to cease contact she is acknowledging that if it upsets you she'll stop for the respect of your feelings. I only wish mine was the same, instead i'm looking into ending it now as mine has refused to stop contact...long story.