He mailed me about his new girlfriend..

[cast no shadow]

I mailed him about a month ago saying I'm flying to the US and maybe we'll met. He said he'll try and that he might go on a trip with his brother. I then commented that his brother is nice and that he will say "hi" from me. Yesterday, two weeks later he answered: "He's coming to visit soon and I have no doubt that he will impress my girlfriend, or at least elicit plenty of smiles and laughter! I'll have to give her a prep talk beforehand."

It hurt me so much. I can't understand why he needed to do that. He already told me that he might won't be able to see me. He could have used a smoother language like: "I think you should know I started dating someone.." Or something like that. And he did it so many times before, when we were together. Always ignoring the fact that I have feeling also.

I cried all day. It really brought me back 5 month ago when I left the US to come back home. He didn't even really let me say goodbye then, cause he kept repeating that he will come visit during the summer. He didn't wait with me for the flight and when I waited for my connection he said he has math homework to do and can't really chat. I thought that was horrible, I felt so bad then, as I am now after his current email.

I hate my self for falling for him the begin with. He his cruel and incapable of having feeling and being sensitive to others' ones. I'm made at myself so much for still having feelings for him as he obviously moved on, and probably had non for me anyway.

I feel a need to tell him how much he hurt me. I wrote him a latter that is about 2 pages long last night, but didn't mail it. I know that the best I can get from him is just him rolling his eyes. I need to hate him, and I need to move on. I thought of maybe just write him something like: "I just wanted you to know your wording really hurt me. You could have choose so many other ways to tell me, or just saying you don't want to meet me. I can't understand why you always said what you knew will be painful."

Should I? What will I say?
I really want to erase him, I just can't.

[hope555]

Don't mail the letter!! Or make any contact with him about how he has hurt you. The best thing you can do right now is move on by yourself. There is no good you can feel from telling him he hurt you..in fact you will probably end up feeling worse for making youself vulnerable again, and then have him be insensitive once again! It is hard to get closure. We always feel like talking to our ex can bring us that closure. But in my experience, it doesn't. Accept the reality, and move on. Stop thinking about him or keeping in touch with him or his life. Forget he existed, and live your life to the fullest!

[smackie9]

Look you misunderstood what your relatioship with him was all about.....it was casual. You were just someone to hang out with and have sex with. Why would he invest his feelings when you live in another country. He just enjoyed the time you both had, but there truy was no obligation to be committed to each other after you left. It is bad on both your parts because you both just assumed. So he didn't think anything of it after you left, there was nothing there to pursue. That's why he casually told you about his new GF. He wasn't being a dick intensionally, he just didn't look at your relationship the same as you. He just went on with his life and met someone locally to date. Your best bet is to not commit to a relationship with someone out of country, and date locally.

[cast no shadow]

I know you'er right. I was nothing for him, but I do think he knew I love him.

We were roommates so we've been together all the time, went to many trips and weekend during this time.

He was the first to act like it was a relationship, wanting to go out and not just be in the house.
But I guess it was exactly as you said, he just enjoyed the fact he had someone to hang out with and
have sex with no obligations. Truly, I think the no obligation was what made me fall inlove the first place as
I have a huge fear of relationship and he was pretty much my first one.

But yeah, I do think he's a jerk. The guy knew I love him and he decided to act as a dick when I left and
after that also. He could have been nicer with the massage.

I wish guys will be just a bit more sensitive. But yeah, I won't mail him back and try to put him behind me
once again, this time for good.