First time sex with new girlfriend!

[berg101]

Hi guys!

Im 22 and this girl I'm seeing is 19 - we've been good friends for about a year now and about 6 weeks ago we started seeing each other - we both feel really strongly about each other and she told me the other day she thinks she's falling for me which is great! The only issue I have is that we haven't had sex yet - mainly my fault because I never seem 'up for it' which is so unlike me because i'm extremely sexual - I just feel very nervous about sleeping with her, almost like there is so much pressure on it but I know that if I don't do it it'll end up sabotaging the relationship.

Im not a virgin and have had sex countless times and never ever been bothered - in fact it's usually me that's diving straight in there - but at the minute im incredibly stressed with work and I just feel very nervous. The other night I went round to hers and she just randomly said "do you want to have sex?" I found it really awkward because I love the build up and prefer to start off by kissing and cuddling etc and then it just leads to sex - so that caught me off guard. Im also very attracted to her as well so it's definitely not that.

I'm just wondering if anyone has been through this same sort of thing or if anyone has any advice on how to combat this issue.

Any help would be great!

Thanks in advance.

Berg

[smackie9]

Take a couple of shots to take the edge off.

[bulrush]

A few times I've had sex on the first date, and I just enjoyed the evening, and so did she. Nothing wrong with that. While I hoped we would date more, I didn't expect anything.

Just relax and don't expect anything, and things will be happen all by themselves.

[haxan]

Performance anxiety. Talk to her, get to feel at ease with each other's sexuality and it will be much better.

[berg101]

Thanks guys!

Bulrush I totally agree with what your saying - the problem is that there has been so much pressure on us getting into a relationship and I think it's just made things worse. Ever since we have been friends everybody has said we should be together, it's made much more difficult when we have the same friends. I have been with a lot of girls and never had any complaints and sex has never ruined anything so I just don't know what my issue is.

[Lovinyou]

Forget about the friends, it's just a myth that one should stay longer with a comfortable friend. It's our feel of insecurity that makes me to stay with a friend whom we are finding some comfort level. So people generally advice to stay with a person whom we share a decent understanding. So don't take your friend's words and don't get yourself pressurized. Just relax and do what you feel. Hope you don't lose the beautiful time by carrying some unwanted pressure.

[cornista]

If you are doing sex for the first time, try to use pheromones spray which makes her totally irresistible in the bed and then you can do more and more.

[michael_love]

you said you have had sex countless times, so you know your stuff already , man.

if she says it to you like that, well there you go, next time she says that, say "yes, I'm ready!" and off you go.

next question.

[michael_love]

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[michael_love]

A few times I've had sex on the first date, and I just enjoyed the evening, and so did she. Nothing wrong with that. While I hoped we would date more, I didn't expect anything.

Just relax and don't expect anything, and things will be happen all by themselves.

very well stated.

you have a good time together, and if that leads to sex, that's fine.

[michael_love]

Thanks guys!

Bulrush I totally agree with what your saying - the problem is that there has been so much pressure on us getting into a relationship and I think it's just made things worse. Ever since we have been friends everybody has said we should be together, it's made much more difficult when we have the same friends. I have been with a lot of girls and never had any complaints and sex has never ruined anything so I just don't know what my issue is.

I see. ok you need to talk about it with her. She will say that the friends are not a part of this, this is between you and her personally, which is right. You need to know that you are personally interested in her, and she likes you too. The friends are not a part of this, they are just not a factor.

eventually people will know that you two are "together", that's a part of life. And when people get married everyone watches, and that's out in the open. But its not the friends making the decisions here, its you being interested in her. If you don't feel interested , then you need to get to know her better and become interested, or just be friends, and not get totally into each other.

for me personally, I don't care about the friends of any of that. I made that mistake in the past and it messed things up. I know now that its only about you and her, and its a very personal relationship between you and her, the friends don't factor into it at all. if there is any pressure in that regard , you should discuss it with her, and get things clear that the friends are not a part of this.

that's just the way i see it.
good luck, bro

[klouieybanez]

just be confident!
it will come sooner or later. . .