Advice on Getting Through Rough Time in Relationship?

[Lily_of_Isles]

A few months ago, my boyfriend and a few friends of ours were in a very bad car accident. One person passed away a few hours after. He was, thankfully, alive but he can't walk anymore or use his legs at all.

It's been pretty tough on him. I help out him and his mom however I can and I try to be with him as often as possible, and our friends are pretty supportive of him as well.

He's just been shutting down. I've known him since we were in elementary school and I've never seen him like this before. He said it seems like his life is over and he may as well die, and of course I told him that isn't true, but he didn't seem convinced. He's always frustrated with himself when he needs help, isn't as optimistic as he's always been before...I understand why, but what I don't know is the right things to say when a loved one is going through a depressed time. I've told him there's crisis counseling and such available, but he doesn't want anything to do with that.

I know I can't give him his legs back, but he can still have a life.

So have any of you had a boyfriend/girlfriend who's been depressed? How did you try to support them and help them cope with it? Advice greatly appreciated.

[smackie9]

There are plendy of wheelchair mentors out there that participate in group therapy. It would be great if some of you could go with him to share the experience and hopefully get some inspiration that there is nothing he cannot do, despite his disability. Get on the google net and see what groups in your area that you can contact and get some advice from them.

[Lily_of_Isles]

Wow - I didn't know there were mentors specifically for people in wheelchairs. Given his attitude toward help I doubt if he'll consider it, but I'll definitely run that by him. So thanks.

[smackie9]

What would be best is for you to check out the programs offered in your community and contact someone that could give you some guidance on how to encourage him to participate in these programs and to talk to others that are just like him and to share their experiences......then he won't feel so helpless.

[MaidenMinx]

Look into counselling for yourself to. You are helping to care for him and that is going to have an impact on you too. Also, a counsellor would be able to help you determine what you can do for him and what you can't.