Possible to find True Love at 30?

[LeftTurn]

hi guys. i'm 30. my wife left me. i met her when i was 14, she was 15. i have been with her for 15+ years. that is a long time, and i will admit that before i reached full maturity, i didn't always treat her right. She must have really loved me to stay with me because i did some things that when i think about it now, i say to myself, how could i do that to her? i now know that's what being young does, and even through all that we were always there for each other. i gave her everything. we have been through and experienced everything in life together. I can't live without her. i have contemplated suicide and still do. it's like life is worthless. working is now unbearable 'cos i think of her every minute. i know its really over because she is seeing someone else. we have 3 kids together. i still don't know or understand what ive done wrong. the last few years were amazing and i thought we were stronger than ever. nevertheless, after all my pleading(which always used to be successful) have not gotten me any results. i finally accepted it was over.

i dont want anyone else, but im willin' to give meeting new people. I just know it wont be the same. they can't give me what she gave me. i can't love them the way i loved her. i invested so much into her, i don't know if i have the energy to do all that again. coupled with all the hours i have to work, i honestly don't remember how to introduce myself to someone i might be interested in. what can i do? Also is 30 too old to find that type of love?

[AdminOnline]

it is never too late.

use your heart to find the true love..

[surfhb]

30?! 30s are your prime in life man

[Cerulean.]

You are still very young. You have plenty of time to find true love again.

[IndiReloaded]

LeftTurn, that's a sad story. If it weren't for the fact your ex is already seeing someone else, I'd suggest you tell her what you posted here and try counselling. A lot of making mistakes isn't about the mistake itself but how you resolve (or don't) to get better. Sounds like your ex got tired of waiting. Women in this type of relationship tend to try to make it work beyond the point of no return. By the time they leave, they've given up hope. Its usually hopeless from the man's POV by then, which unfortunately is typically when a man 'gets it'. First wives are often the 'training program' for the subsequent one(s). LOL.

Good news is that 30 is very young. You will love again. Don't feel sorry for yourself, the suicide thing is not going to help anyone (think of your children!). Just use this time to reflect on how things might have gone differently and resolve to be better.

[bluesummer]

You can find love at any age, and 30 is still so young. It's almost the best time to meet your true love because most people have grown up by then (notice I said 'most').

You guys got together so young and probably just changed a lot as people. That majority of people have changed a lot from the time they are 15 to 30. What brought you together as teenagers may not be there anymore. I've seen it happen so often with couples that get together really young. A friend of mine (also 30) is going through a divorce right now with a man she was with since 15. She still loves him, but says they just grew apart, and the things they envisioned for their lives then are nothing like what they are now.

Stay strong, you will meet someone else eventually, and time really does heal all wounds. You may one day come to realize this was all for the best. Love doesn't have to take a lot out of you, it shouldn't require a ton of energy to love someone.....real love just comes naturally and easily. Relationships aren't always easy, but the right ones always require less maintenance. So if you were putting so much work in to keep your current relationship going, it likely wasn't the right one anyways.

[IndiReloaded]

BTW, no way am I implying what's happened is your fault. The fact she is seeing someone before you are divorced (I think?) makes her sound quite selfish. Some would call her a cheater or worse, especially given you have children together. Again, learn from this experience. Respond sooner to relationship problems, get help if you need it, and, perhaps, be wiser in your choice of a partner who shares values similar to your own.

Post here if you need to vent. Keep calm, carry on.

[caligirl23]

I was 33 when I found true love and had a real traumatic break-up with a man years before, that I felt was the love of my life. Nothing compared to the feeling of being with him and I was convinced that I wouldn't find that feeling again, but I did and it was stronger and more "real" than I ever thought it could be. I was exhausted and not looking to put energy into anything and you know what? I didn't have to. It wasn't work, it was easy and freeing to be in a relationship with someone who "got" me, who understood me and I appreciated things about the new person that were absent in my old flame. Time went by and the old feelings were there, but not as strong or passionate about my ex. They didn't need to be, I have a new love and a new appreciation for what love is supposed to be. You will be fine, I know it

[Cerby]

At 30 you can still pick up 21 year olds at the club. You can also date up because women in their mid-30's are missing the youthful vitality of younger men. from 27-32 is when you have the BROADEST range of women to pick from. And as you get older, the single women seem to be more willing to date anything to get out of the rut of being older and single. You will find it, just as long as you give it an honest effort.

[LeftTurn]

thanks for all the advise and kind words guys. i really appreciate it