Dumped like that...

[NjoyStick]

Hey everybody,

This is my story.

About 3,5 months ago my girlfriend broke up with me after a 4 year relationship.
In these 4 years we were very happy and it was going really well, you know, we were looking for a house, we loved eachother so much and we wanted to be together forever.
Then the last few months of our relationship... My ex always had the most control in the relationship and it didn't really bother me that much so everything was going well until i wanted to be myself more and took back some control over the
relationship, i wanted to bring some balance back.
My ex didn't like it and instead of telling me that and talking with me about it she dumped me all of a sudden... I was devastated, heartbroken and depressed...
A week after she dumped me some arrogant douchebag that i knew all of my life suddenly showed up at her door and they started dating a few times and after only a month they were in a relationship.
When i found out who her new boyfriend was i took it very hard cause i know my ex needs somebody that is kind, understanding and caring towards her and i know this guy all of my life and he is arrogant, selfish, get's angry very quickly
and is not her type at all.
My ex and i shared alot of interest together and it went very well but i know from my ex and her mother that her new boyfriend doesn't share those interest with her... She loves to go to music festivals and long vacations to warm country's
and he doesn't like festivals and he doesn't like to go on vacation at all.
It took me almost a year to gain her trust towards me cause she doesn't trust anybody like that, and she already somehow trusts her new boyfriend after 2 weeks...
They are also going very very fast in this relationship. they are together for over a month and they have already been away for the weekend, went to places and stuff... you know... It took us 3 months in our relationship to go to a theme parkfor a day and 9 months to go away for a weekend together...
My ex has a strange personality, she is stubborn, selfish and pretty arrogant and i've seen her like this for those 4 years and it didn't really bother me at all cause that's just the way she is, she never even liked to talk about her feelings until it
eventually came out of her.
But now she has a new boyfriend and all of a sudden she changed so much for him, she talks about her feeling open to him, she likes all kind of things all of a sudden and does so much with him right now, i mean.. When we were in a
relationship she posted maybe once a week or once every two weeks about her and me on her facebook but only a month in her new relationship and she already had more posts on her facebook about her and her new boyfriend then she ever had about her and me...

The only people she talks to about her relationship with me are people who only know her side of the story so it's easier for her but whenever these people hear my side they tell me that i'm right about this.
It's just so weird what happened, she told me she was confused about our relationship for about a month and didn't know if she had to break up or not but until the end she was still so loving towards me and it still felt like we had so much love
to give to each other and then all of a sudden... she dumped me.
Her new boyfriend wasn't in the picture before we broke up, he was just waiting for his chance and when she dumped me he got into a pursuit to get her and she was dumb enough to fall for it cause i know from his friends that he like girls that
are a emotional wreck so it's easier for him... They told me he was single for about 8 years cause all the girls he tried to date saw right through him and his intensions.
She never talked to her new boyfriend in the last 4 years of our relationship and we only saw him like 2 or 3 times at a party but we never talked to him.
I'm still a mess and i have no idea what is going to happen....
I gave up so much in my life to be with her but she just threw it away because she lost control...

She still talks about me with her new boyfriend and she is trying to sort all kinds of stuff out about me.

How can someone who has been in your life for 4 years, that you loved so much and that person loved you so much just turn around and go to someone else that isn't even the right person for her?

[cast no shadow]

I'm sorry that you feel this way, I can really understand and relate.

Breaking up just like that without a reasonable explanation can just keep the hope for the relationship to go back on.
I think this is what happened with you. That, together with the fact that shes dating someone who isn't right for he just
made you think and believe that you'll be back together soon.

It took me forever to really understand that my ex and I are over (after he told be about his new GF), and since then,
about two weeks now (after five months where I was in denial) and I'm, again, emotional wreck.

I think, as hard as it can get, you should try to stop focus about her new BF and accept the fact that she has one.
Don't follow what they are doing on FB (and believe me, I know how hard it is. I'm fighting this temptation 24/7).

There aren't many things worse than loving someone who moved on. I know that.
But I guess the only thing we can do is just accept that this is the situation and try to move on.

[NjoyStick]

You are right, it is very hard...
I'm sorry you are an emotional wreck, we can relate to that and it's hard...

We need to move on, i know we do, it's getting easier every day cause i'm writing a book and my head is full of that right now and it really helps =)

I just hope my ex get's screwed over big time and she get's her heart broken like she did with me...
Alot of people around me and her say it's just a matter of time and i'll hear it soon enough, i'm not gonna wait for it and move on =)

[Chris0516]

Hey everybody,

This is my story.

About 3,5 months ago my girlfriend broke up with me after a 4 year relationship.
In these 4 years we were very happy and it was going really well, you know, we were looking for a house, we loved eachother so much and we wanted to be together forever.
Then the last few months of our relationship... My ex always had the most control in the relationship and it didn't really bother me that much so everything was going well until i wanted to be myself more and took back some control over the
relationship, i wanted to bring some balance back.
My ex didn't like it and instead of telling me that and talking with me about it she dumped me all of a sudden... I was devastated, heartbroken and depressed...
A week after she dumped me some arrogant douchebag that i knew all of my life suddenly showed up at her door and they started dating a few times and after only a month they were in a relationship.
When i found out who her new boyfriend was i took it very hard cause i know my ex needs somebody that is kind, understanding and caring towards her and i know this guy all of my life and he is arrogant, selfish, get's angry very quickly
and is not her type at all.
My ex and i shared alot of interest together and it went very well but i know from my ex and her mother that her new boyfriend doesn't share those interest with her... She loves to go to music festivals and long vacations to warm country's
and he doesn't like festivals and he doesn't like to go on vacation at all.
It took me almost a year to gain her trust towards me cause she doesn't trust anybody like that, and she already somehow trusts her new boyfriend after 2 weeks...
They are also going very very fast in this relationship. they are together for over a month and they have already been away for the weekend, went to places and stuff... you know... It took us 3 months in our relationship to go to a theme parkfor a day and 9 months to go away for a weekend together...
My ex has a strange personality, she is stubborn, selfish and pretty arrogant and i've seen her like this for those 4 years and it didn't really bother me at all cause that's just the way she is, she never even liked to talk about her feelings until it
eventually came out of her.
But now she has a new boyfriend and all of a sudden she changed so much for him, she talks about her feeling open to him, she likes all kind of things all of a sudden and does so much with him right now, i mean.. When we were in a
relationship she posted maybe once a week or once every two weeks about her and me on her facebook but only a month in her new relationship and she already had more posts on her facebook about her and her new boyfriend then she ever had about her and me...

The only people she talks to about her relationship with me are people who only know her side of the story so it's easier for her but whenever these people hear my side they tell me that i'm right about this.
It's just so weird what happened, she told me she was confused about our relationship for about a month and didn't know if she had to break up or not but until the end she was still so loving towards me and it still felt like we had so much love
to give to each other and then all of a sudden... she dumped me.
Her new boyfriend wasn't in the picture before we broke up, he was just waiting for his chance and when she dumped me he got into a pursuit to get her and she was dumb enough to fall for it cause i know from his friends that he like girls that
are a emotional wreck so it's easier for him... They told me he was single for about 8 years cause all the girls he tried to date saw right through him and his intensions.
She never talked to her new boyfriend in the last 4 years of our relationship and we only saw him like 2 or 3 times at a party but we never talked to him.
I'm still a mess and i have no idea what is going to happen....
I gave up so much in my life to be with her but she just threw it away because she lost control...

She still talks about me with her new boyfriend and she is trying to sort all kinds of stuff out about me.

How can someone who has been in your life for 4 years, that you loved so much and that person loved you so much just turn around and go to someone else that isn't even the right person for her?

Your ex, is like my (ex)fiance. My (ex)fiance always whined about being 'controlled'. She wanted to be as reckless as she pleased. When I finally put my foot down, she left me. I was extremely depressed about it. But as time went by, and I reflected on the relationship more, I was glad she left. Because she was 'trouble', with a capital T!!!!