Why won't he pick up his stuff?

[RandomGirl]

So its been 7 weeks since my ex fiance (who was living here with me and my parents) left me and yip his stuff is still here. He came over once 2 weeks after the breakup to get clothes for an interview and we talked for a bit about random things. Since then he has been weird with me. He replied to messages and we acted like normal, he then deleted me from his facebook explaining that 'i'm upset i can't be a part of you anymore' and he misses me (he broke up with me because he doesn't love me anymore???) and when i called him about coming over to get the rest of his stuff he said he was definitely free only to reply to my text the day before the meet that he had to go to the job centre. We've not spoken since, that was 2 weeks ago.
Why won't he have the decency to come get his stuff? I'd rather he come get it and realise he needs to do things for himself instead of me taking it to him. The only method of communication he has initaited contact with is the PS3 and he hasn't even been on that to reply to my message about getting his stuff. Why is he doing this???

[Boisdevie]

Send him a text giving him a deadline to pick up his stuff or you'll give it to the charity shop. That should make him pick up his stuff. As to why he hasn't picked up his stuff? Why should you care he's your ex. As in previous. As in history.

[Wakeup]

I suspect he doesn't have the "decency" to come over and get his stuff for two reasons:
1. They're not all that important to him so he just hasn't made the time
2. It's a final ending for him and he's perhaps stalling because of that.

Just because he's broken up with you it doesn't mean that he'll not miss you being a part of his life. Him missing being a part of his life doesn't necessarily mean that he'd want to be back with you though.

My Suggestions: Pack his stuff up in boxes and store them in your garage or your basement and stop wondering when (if ever) he'll come for them. Email him once more that you've packed it up and it's in the garage and that you take no responsibility if they get wet/damaged etc. Then Stop calling/contacting him about it and let him contact you when/if he wants whats there. If after a year he doesn't come, dispose of it. You may want to tell him that you'll be doing that as well.

My question to you is: Why are you caring so much about him contacting you and getting his stuff? You are more concerned about it then he is. Let it go and get on with getting over him. The first step to that is by going No Contact.

[HeartIsAching]

Send him a text giving him a deadline to pick up his stuff or you'll give it to the charity shop. That should make him pick up his stuff. As to why he hasn't picked up his stuff? Why should you care he's your ex. As in previous. As in history.

I was going to suggest a variation of this.

Pack his stuff into black plastic garbage bags. Tell him he's got 72 hours to come and get it, then you set it on the curb for garbage pickup.

[MaidenMinx]

If the stuff is any good, I think charity is a much better idea than the rubbish. Find a homeless guy that's about his size and give him all your ex's clothes. Any games etc he might have, donate to the childrens ward of a local hospital. Any thing else, take to your local second hand shop. Don't ditch what someone else can use.

[smackie9]

Ya all good suggestions here. His laziness on this shows what kind of a doofus he really his. Check the laws in your area....some are 30 days some are 90 days, then the sh it is yours.

[jetta86s]

Maybe his really just busy or he don't want to, thinking that he still wants to get back with you?

[haxan]

What kind of stuff is it?

If it's worthless, he probably just wants to move on and could care less. Sometimes ex's keep contacting the other half to get their stuff so they can see them one more time and it's just crap like cd's or clothes that cost nothing to replace.

Send him a message that in 3 days it's going to charity and follow through with it.

[toknow]

Well if you respond the way boisidevie suggested, you'll know for sure you will have lost this relationship.

That's how you make enemies of your loved ones and show them it was a good thing they left you.

Do that if you want to make it easier for him to forget you it will help him.

[RandomGirl]

i've gone no contact for the past few weeks hoping that he would eventually realise he needs his things. My friends who have seen him say he looks a mess - out drinking all the time and not taking care of himself (i.e weight gain and unkempt hair). Not sure if he's drinking to avoid his feelings or because i'm not there to lecture him :/ I don't think we could ever go back to the way things were but i definitely don't want him out my life completely. I'm thinking wait til the end of the week and if he still hasn't contacted i'll call to say i really need his stuff out of here

[haxan]

So you're really just holding his stuff to get a visit. Honestly, not a good idea. Move on.

[toknow]

What does it matter if his stuff is there or not. Why are you trying to get rid of his things so fast? If you were over him, you wouldn't care, and wouldn't worry that he might stop by. If you were over him and he stopped by to pick up his stuff, it would be just like a friend coming by to pick up something he forgot the last time he was there. The fact that you are making such a big deal out of it, shows you aren't over him.

[RandomGirl]

How is 2 months too fast? 2 days maybe but not months. I'm trying my hardest to get over him, i realise the guy i was going to marry is gone now. It is healthy to want his stuff gone, his stuff being here just reminds me of him and makes me think he is coming back or whatever when he clearly isn't. I want to move on with my life. My friends and family always ask me if he's picked up his stuff yet, and the ones who've had break-ups in the past said they'd picked their stuff up within the next week. Its a matter of respecting the other person i know if it was my stuff i'd have collected them by now

[VincenzoG91]

He is marking his territory. Even though he has moved on, he doesn't like the idea of you moving on yet, so leaving his stuff at your place gives him a sense of security, like he still has his foot in the door. Stick with the idea of getting his stuff out by the end of the week. If he needs a place to store his stuff, he needs to pay for a damn storage locker like any normal person. And you need to move on. This guy sounds like an immature loser. Forget about him.

[Cerulean.]

The OP never said she was over him. I can understand why she wants it gone. OP, you've gotten several good responses of giving him a deadline. If that doesn't work, maybe have a friend of his pick it up? Or, drive to his place and leave it at the front door. I'd actually do that so I wouldn't have to see the person.