Need honest answers on whether qualities I have are turnoff or attractive......Thanks

[surfhb]

The OP says he's not religious so I don't get the rational behind abstinence??

I'd be willing to bet you're just plain akward to most people.....just my opinion based on what you've written

[MaidenMinx]

I second the church dating sites option. There are sites specifically for people that want to wait until marriage and that is where you will find a woman happy to wait and attracted to your self control. Only another virgin won't take offense to your idea of anyone with sexual experience being "used goods".

[surfhb]

Thanks everyone for the responses.

It's not that I don't want to have sex (I can't control my hormones!) but the times in the past where I had the oppurtunity to lose my virginity, I always thought of my wedding day and how disappointed I would feel that I couldn't control my urges and saved myself for my wife. Obviously I want to have sex (who doesn't?), but this is something I decided on in high school and it's very important to me. Doesn't anyone else see where I'm coming from? Thanks

Ummmm...no. I respect your decision but its a rather odd way of thinking to most people...hence the reason why never been with a girl.

Controlling urges? I mean C'mon! There's something haywire going on under the hood there buddy

[actualgoodguy]

Thanks everyone for all the responses so far, they are appreciated.

So, I've been on a dating website for 3 months now and still have not been on a date. I'm realizing that I may have to start going out and meeting girls my age, which I've never done before. I never even thought about dating in HS and was too busy with school and running in college. But now that I'm working, I've realized it would finally be nice to have a gf.

Suggestions on where I should be going or what I should be doing to meet someone? Thanks

[AlexS]

the thing ive never got about no sex before marriage is, how can you get to know someone well enough to want to MARRY them without having the intimacy and experience of sex? to me not only is it great with people you dont, but its also a real strong bonding time with someone that you do really like. surely a relationship has to have the foundations of lust to really work (it would be like living in the olden days - marrying for politics!). i get waiting until your in a serious relationship but marriage isnt something to be taken lightly

[smackie9]

Thanks everyone for all the responses so far, they are appreciated.

So, I've been on a dating website for 3 months now and still have not been on a date. I'm realizing that I may have to start going out and meeting girls my age, which I've never done before. I never even thought about dating in HS and was too busy with school and running in college. But now that I'm working, I've realized it would finally be nice to have a gf.

Suggestions on where I should be going or what I should be doing to meet someone? Thanks

If your dating site experience isn't working for you maybe you would like to try a dating coach or a match maker. You want quality service you have to spend the money. The free stuff is mostly trash. Maybe you need to fix your profile, change the pictures and stuff. Remember you need to sell yourself, and if you don't advertise properly you won't get any bites. How about a life coach? You might need a make over.....you need to look somewhat polished if you want to attract them. You are competing against thousands of other people..... it's a tough market.

[IndiReloaded]

This aloof and condescending attitude is why you haven't even kissed a girl at 23... "used material", honest to ****ing god. You churchy people do irk me sometimes.

This^. I think its your uptight attitude that is making things difficult for you. Of course, those same traits are what make you successful, so its a tradeoff.

Many people these days don't get married until 30 or even 40. That's a long time to wait for the pleasures of sex. The other issue is that the longer you wait, the more emphasis you will put on sex and, while important, its not what many would even call the most important part of marriage.

Be more open to possibility. I'm not saying to whore around, but find a nice girl to date for a while. Get to know each other. If you feel the urge for sex in a few weeks to months, then allow yourselves this experience. It won't make you a pig, nor her a slut, if you do it with respect and in a monogamous relationship.

[starlight87]

I'll tell you what the biggest turn off about you is - your used material line. I'm not a virgin. But I haven't slept around, I will never sleep with a guy early on in our relationship. I find your choice of words offensive.

Aside from that... I don't think we'd "connect". I wouldn't say I'm wild. I like a few nights out with my friends, or boyfriend if I'm dating. I don't drink to the point of getting drunk, but I do like a few drinks. I don't believe in waiting until marriage for sex, although I'm definately not easy. I get the impression you would be quite judgemental. A lot of your original post what you don't do but you didn't mention much about what you did do, or what you enjoyed til later. Maybe you are a nice guy, it's easy to pick thing up wrongly online, especially with someone you don't know. But I just don't think you'd be the kinda guy for me.

[smackie9]

The only way to meet people is through a social activity. You could join a church, a co-ed sports team, do volunteer work, join a social club, or get your friends to fix you up on blind dates, go to parties, etc. You have to be a part of something with other people. That's why going to the clubs and bars is so popular. You don't have to drink, but you can still dance and talk can't you?

[sadie_genie]

This is very common among guys. It just means it isn't the right time or you haven't been making enough effort in connecting with people. I don't think you need to rush getting a girlfriend just to have sex or so you don't feel left out. Not all girls are turned off by virgin guys in their 20s. I actually prefer that since that means you are clean.

[iamaninnocentma]

This is very common among guys. It just means it isn't the right time or you haven't been making enough effort in connecting with people. I don't think you need to rush getting a girlfriend just to have sex or so you don't feel left out. Not all girls are turned off by virgin guys in their 20s. I actually prefer that since that means you are clean.

WTF. So people in their 20s who arnt virgins are not clean? Crazy mofo.

Any man thats not had his hole by 17 is either ugly or canadian.

For 200k you can have a different hooker every night of your life. Go live the dream and stop being a big fanny.

[sadie_genie]

WTF. So people in their 20s who arnt virgins are not clean? Crazy mofo.

Any man thats not had his hole by 17 is either ugly or canadian.

For 200k you can have a different hooker every night of your life. Go live the dream and stop being a big fanny.

Someone who has a clean relationship and sexual history has a certain appeal because in a sense they are more innocent. Just my preference. I don't mean "clean" only in the sense that they have no STD.

[iamaninnocentma]

Someone who has a clean relationship and sexual history has a certain appeal because in a sense they are more innocent. Just my preference. I don't mean "clean" only in the sense that they have no STD.

My mistake, i didnt notice your flag before i answered you. No harm. I always forget you people live to a different set of rules to the rest of us. I blame the french influence.

[IndiReloaded]

WTF. So people in their 20s who arnt virgins are not clean? Crazy mofo.

Any man thats not had his hole by 17 is either ugly or canadian.

LOL! Well its a damn sight colder here. That explains the reluctance of Canucks to expose our fannies/weiners too early. Our window of opportunity is 1/2 of most other places, which explains the delay.

On the up side, our beer is always cold. So there. :p

[smackie9]

WTF? we still wear shorts and flip flops all year round here......