Mental Torture

[Bird]

Ok, what's up everyone. Im 24 years old and I've been dating this girl since high school, 6 years. We have had our highs and lows but she has always been there for me. Recently she has been talking a lot about marraige and expects a proposal soon. She is a very sweet girl and I care about her a lot but the fire in my heart is going out I think. I don't want to get married right now and I have told her that. She is very stubborn and has a short fuse, we constantly fight and when I'm ready to end it she settles down eventually. We have lived together for 3 years. I don't want to sound conceded but she loves me very much. She told me the other day that she would be completely destroyed if I was ever gone. I don't want to hurt her feelings because I care about people and I hate seeing people sad. My parents divorced when I was very young so I think that plays a part in my thinking. I consider myself to be a nice guy but when I really think about it, I don't treat her the way she deserves.

Ok, I started a new job recently, been working there 3 weeks. There is a girl there that I've talked to a few times and I can't stop thinking of her. I'm not going to cheat on my girlfriend but this other girl sparks that fire. I don't even know her but she seems to show interest in me as well. We always joke with each other and laugh, smile. She is beautiful. It's mentally torturing me to think about all of this.

I want to follow my heart but I don't want to ruin anyone's lives. My brother is two years older than me and he married my girlfriends best friend. My best friend is dating her other best friend. So things are very touchy if you know what I mean.

I need some advice... Thanks!

[Boisdevie]

It's quite simple. If you're not happy with the relationship then end it. She will survive. Many of us have been dumped along the way. The vast majority somehow carry on without resorting to alcohol, suicide etc etc. Your happiness is number one priority and the opinions of others are not important at all.

[Bird]

Ok thanks for the reply. I'm not sure what to say to my girlfriend. She is going to be crushed but luckily she has a very nice family and her friends are great. We live together and I have nowhere else to live. I make all of the money, but she owns all of the stuff in our apartment. Do I just tell her to move out or what? I'm scared and I want her to be happy but that's impossible. I don't want to live a false life. I think it's time I tell her how I feel, I don't want to waste her time..

[Boisdevie]

If it's any consolation I was with my ex for 8 years and we lived together for 6 years with her daughter. I ended the relationship and she and her daughter had to move out. Not exactly wonderful but it had to be done. Just be honest with her.

[Bird]

Was it a bad breakup mentally for you? I'm ready to pull the trigger but there will be an avalanche. I just want to be prepared because she is going to be a mess.

[vashti]

If you want to break up, then at least have the decency to not make her homeless, too. Is there some compelling reason you can't find another apartment?

[Bird]

Trust me she won't be homeless. She is scared to sleep alone in our apartment so I'm guessing she would go to her parents. This is killing me, when is the right time to break the news?