Some advice would be greatly recieved...!!!

[lovesick999]

hi there...

this is my first post, so be gently with me please...

would love to know what u guys think...

basically, me and my girlfriend of 6 years split up 6 weeks ago
the last few months she became additcted to Internet gambling,
and it got to a point when we couldn't pay the rent...

I have know my ex since we where 17, and always got on so well,
she met someone in 2005 and fell pregnant. the guy was an arse
and everyone knew it, she split with him when her daughter was 4 months old,
and because we were so close before, she contacted me.

so over the years, I've been bringing her daughter up as my own (the father
is AWOL)... she calls me daddy, and doesn't know any different...

we lived together and i paid the rent on the flat, she never really worked, had a few
little jobs but not anything that spanned longer than 4 months...
her gambling really threw me, I dodnt know how to deal with it, and was so angry,
I was never aggressive but shouted allot... she was playing with our future...!!
however, she blamed me for it...!!

we had a row 6 weeks ago, and i done something I never usually
do and that's walk out of a argument I thought it would be for the best...
however the next day she said she needed time and wanted some space, I thought ok...

then it hit home, I'm currently living back at my mums, i still see my daughter every Sunday and
she stays over every other Sunday, I give her mother �100 a week maintenance, and
buy her anything she needs, clothes etc...

all i want is to get back with her, the way I'm currently feeling is horrific, I miss her and my
daughter so much, it's killing me...
we've slept together a couple of times
since, but it's never gone further than that, I still leave...

a few weeks ago I found out that shes been seeing somebody
and it was like a ton of bricks coming down on me, I cried and cried and cried...

this guy lives 350 miles away and comes down every other when I have my daughter,
I know they've been texting etx, and that brakes my heart...
there was a time in tw past web she adored me, and the last few months with her gambling etc
had such an impact on our relationship...

we still get on, and i went out in the week for a drink with a friend
(female friend) and she found out, yesterday we were watching our daughter
in a performance, my ex was gonna leave once it had finished but we were getting
on so well, she insisted we went for something to eat, I played it down and said 'is that really a good
idea'... but we did, when we left she burst into tears and hugged me, telling me she still loves me
and that it's been so difficult for her, I felt so sorry for her, but then thought that's how she's been making
me feel for that past 6 weeks...

anyway when we for back to the flat, she pulled me in and started to passionately
kiss and grope me, we started to have sex but I stopped and said she
would regret it in the morning, and plus our daughter was playing in her room...

so we kissed and said goodbye...

I apologise for the poor grammar etc, just been trying to rush
it... and there's more going on than that...

so what do u people think...? any tips, advice...??
I'd do anything to have we back...

thanks for taking the time and reading this....

[weathergirl]

Dear OP.
I'm sorry to hear you are going through this difficult time. You clearly love each other, maybe taking some time away like what you are doing now is a good opportunity to reflect on the relationship and see if you both think it is worth giving it another try.
Why dont you arrange to speak to each other, sit down and discuss it and see how you both feel. Maybe the relationship needs some space, or maybe you both need to address the problems in it that made it get to where it is now.
If it was me - and I truely loved that person I would do anything to stay with them. My first port of call would be getting support to deal with the gambling issue, because unless this is addressed this will be an issue whoever she is with.

I'm sorry I cant help further, I wish you well and I hope you reach a decision you are both happy with. Tia

[smackie9]

Gambling habit is no different than being addicted to drugs and alcohol. Ask her, for the child's sake, to seek out a gambling addiction support group (they are free) and go with her. She definitely needs help. Addictions can be a sign of mental illness such as OCD and manic depression, so it might be a good idea for her to see a doctor to get a proper diagnosis. You are going to have to set aside trying to repair this relationship for now, she needs help with her behavioral problems first.

[cheekxs]

Many people thinks cause the person is a youth friend or love they have to stick together for life even tho its not working.

Great that you took the father role, but i have to say a story have 2 sides always!

And this is yours. It sounds to me like you are a only a hero. And she is the only reason things goes bad.
when did you know she have this problem with gambling?

Cause if you knew from the start why do you bring it up right now?
If she have that problem she need to get help for it herself.

And i dot know how old you all are but sounds really immature to me the way you guys do thing.
like her rolling around and when she gets tired try to sleep with you.
she need to get a job and grow up.


Maybe you guys need to be apart for a while.
So you can think clearly if she is really the one for you or you just feel obligation cause of the kid and cause she is a youth love.
When she gets a job she will think more about spending the money!

aND missing someone is not enough reason to stay together. cause its normal that
people can miss someone they have been with in the beginning.