What does she want from me?

[21North]

Ive never asked advice in my life before in matters of the heart but I feel I have no choice but to ask the people that have been there or in simular situations.

Short version: I have being seeing a woman for about 6 months. Its been a difficult 6 months because both of us have busy jobs, so cant get to see each other as much as we would have liked. There has been some arguments through lack of seeing each other with one or either of us becoming bitchy of what the other was doing when one as free and the other wasnt. We had a long chat on Sunday and Monday a week ago and made promises to each other that we would take time out to text each other more and let the other know they were on the others minds. This went great on the Sunday & monday, then her children booked a table for her exes birthday for them all to go out as a family.

I had an issue with it and said I wasnt happy about it, but if she really wanted to go then ok id deal with my emotions but I didnt like it. Everything was fine until she sent a text on tuesday lunch that I missed and took three hours to answer, she went off on one telling me I was ignoring her. I wasnt Id genuinly not seen the texts, after that the nasty texts started to come, telling me she wasnt going to go on the dinner with her children and her ex and because of that her children hated her for spoiling their dads birthday treat. Things gradually got worse during the day to the point where I turned off my phone as I couldnt see any advantage in answering and winding her up further.

On wednesday morning I get a text from her saying she couldnt deal with all the pressure of her job and she didnt have time for a relationship with me.

I know shes crazy in love with me of that I have no doubt, she asked me to let her get her head together so I gave her what she wanted and backed off and didnt text her unless it was to reply to something she sent and I kept that as brief as possible. I chose not to contact her and give her space but she keeps texting me and always at the end of her texts is lyl (love you loads)

Ive told her im not interested in being her friend its either together or nothing because I cant be friends with someone im in love with, at the moment its too soon. I removed her from facebook and she wants me to add her back as a friend ive tried ignoring her texts and she gets irritable and nasty, shes trying to speak to me in text about every day things but still says she doesnt have the time for a relationship, but she keeps telling me she loves me.

The woman is doing my head in I dont know if im coming or going with her. I have been my normal selfwith her I havent got angry althouh Ive had cause: She sent me a text today saying "im probably better off without her because shes a mess and in tears and not good company at the moment", I answered that "she was probably right and hoped she started to pick up soon".....her answer was "Oh ok thanks, no fight" xxxxx I asked her what she meant she replied "Its ok luv it dont matter" lyl xxx

Im an Intelligent guy but am I missing something here, I honestly dont know what she wants from me. I leave her alone she texts me I answer her she replies but says she doesnt have the time for a relationship ........

She is in a high pressure job where sometimes she works 12-14 hrs a day running a business for two other partners and an small workforce, without her invoicing, sorting the job allocaton, doing wages etc the company would go under she needs help but at just a startup company of a couple of years.


Im stumped as what to do next, so any input from anyone on her to whats going on with her Id appreciate as I know I cant go on like this, its breaking me up and she knows this.

Thank you in advance

[cheekxs]

sorry i did my best. but how old are u guys? this is so childish.

how long do you know her. really know! only 6 mnts?
thts to short to be in a love relationship. and to be jealous like that.

and what do u mean with u have been seeing???

do u to date or have a relationship?

anyway i think its all stupid and crap. be adults.
speak clearly 5to each other and see where each other stands.
and if you both want to go forward what are the steps u have to make , especially about the busy job issue.

u are not the first or last ones .
people normal that are really in love always find a way to see o speak to each other everyday also.
like calling each other every day on the same hour or ever Sunday or something.
If you want a relationship you have to make some effort at a certain point.
Cause otherwise it will not stand for long.

And if they fired u guys one day they will put someone else to do the job anyway. so its not like you really cant
make time to talk. and stuff.;
both have to want it.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You had the right idea. She can't stand that you're not begging for her to come back. Next time she texts you, tell her not to contact you at all anymore unless she wants to get back together. Do not respond to any further texts unless it starts with, "I want to get back together". You should also start seeing other women immediately, and don't hide that from her.

[cheekxs]

Its stupid, she tells you the truth but u still acting like you dont know what she wants.

And i think she knows she dont have the time. But she is trying to see if you are the men for her
true those stupid text massages .
Like what is your effort when she text such and such thing. Do you run away or do you have the
right answer and action toward it.
When she wrote the text about tears u supposed to let her feel supported and safe by you.
But i guess u dont have a idea how to deal with woman, looking at your answer. Its just cruel and stupid.
wake up!
If u say u are in love u supposed to text her something like: dont worry things will be better soon, and i
still believe in you and me. yada yada...........
That was one more of your opportunity to feed her feelings for you! But you waste it!

Its childish maybe but, if you really are interested you will have to take the lead.
But not by putting pressure on her.
If she told u seriously that she dont want relationship u have to leave it.
But if it wasn't like that u can let her know what u want and feel.

Maybe she dont want to have a relationship cause of you both jobs.
So maybe its a certain fear she have about how things will go then cause o the distance and jobs.


But if she really dont want to, leave it.

[smackie9]

At the beginning of most relationships everyone is more obsessed with each other, not in love and you lose track of reality. You both really don't fit. You both have poor communication, there is no trust so you both assume the worst, she has some baggage with her ex, you both have work schedules that don't match, and you both are already having troubles so early in a relationship.... all this is so unsettling. She lacks coping skills, so the fighting will never stop. The friendship thing? well that just goes to show you, that you were more of a emotional pillow for her to rest on rather than a BF. She's a basket case.

This is no way to have a relationship. You are lucky it's over this early in the game. Just keep ignoring her, she needs to learn she can't use crying and whining to get what she wants.