I think i need a good slap in the face!

[gabriel289]

First of all thank you all for taking your time to read this. It's a complicated situation and I am utterly confused and unsure as to how to approach it.


Let me give you the rundown. Ill try and be as brief as possible.

• I am 22 and currently in my last of year at University.
• She is 20 and in her second year at university
• We've got the same group of friends and thus hang around in the same place with the same people most of the time.
• She's not British and she's got a boyfriend who she says she loves and has been with for the past 2 years back in her own country.

The whole thing started off really casual. She would come to a party, we would both drink and we would eventually end up flirting. One thing led to another and we eventually hooked up. We did it without protection. It was OK for me as i thought i was just having fun and didn't think much of it. In the back of my mind i knew she cheated on her boyfriend but I understood the fact that shes in a different country with people she dosent know and that she possibly felt lonely. So i didnt think she was a slut or anything.

We continued seeing each other and started sleeping together pretty much every time we saw each other. Occasionally she would go back to her country and see her
boyrfiend who didn't know about me. She was keeping it a secret and told me she was sleeping with him without protection. Which made me cringe. I didn't think that was right of her to do and though that,potentially, she could be putting both of our lives at risk. Luckily i got tested and everything was fine. But the fact of the matter remains.

The whole thing moved on and we continued seeing eachother. I got really drawn to her because she seemed like a really nice, caring and loving person and the sex was great. I soon found out that when she starts drinking at parties she gets off the rails and starts doing really, really, really slutty things. Like she would tongue kiss another girl in front of everybody just for a show and she would stick her tongue down my friend's ears. I know this sound ****ing ridiculous, but as they say love is blind.

So i turned a blind eye to that. She told me numerous times she loved me and i told her i loved her too. Which i did. One night - she goes out with her friends and brings back another man to her house. I know that because my friends were at her house that particular night and they told me about it. I confronted her about it and told her that you cant tell someone you love them and go off and do things like that. I also told her about her off the rails behaviour when she gets drunk. Ofcourse she started defending herself and denying it, saying it never happened - but i know it did. She also said that she didnt have sex with that man,even though they were in her room for hours.

So my question to you all is.... WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?! Im leaving London in a month to go work somewhere else and she's staying here. I really do have feelings for her and i want to be able to come next year and visit my friends who still study in University and have a good time.... But... what should i do?

Shall i just ignore her?

Please help me... im really lost and I dont really know who to ask :-(

[joeyraz]

Hey man, looks like you've fallen into the 'blind-spot'...you 'think' its alright and ok to go into the 'zone'--->referring to the girl, but eventually it is actually a mistake. Not saying its your fault altogether but we guys tend to fall into that, sometimes...no matter how unfortunate that is. I think honestly think this whole fling is a just a mere infatuation? Look man, you have to set your foot on the ground when it comes to this situations. I mean if youre looking for a stable-romantic and healthy relationship, i better think hard and through. The girl you described just doesnt seem someone who is loyal or faithful, im sorry to say this but its only my humble opinion (forgive me if i have offended you).

If she could sleep with you despite her having a BF already, what makes you think that she wouldnt do the same when you're together? You see the cycle there? its vicious but some guys are just vulnerable and at the end, it will eat them inside. I dont want you to regret at the end of your relationship. If you really really like this girl, maybe set things right with her. Being in a relationship means that there are some rules to abide by.

You know what man...since you are leaving London for work...how about taking some time off for yourself? Good things could happen you know...maybe ull find a more compatible companion. And yea, maybe ignore her for awhile. She may sound fun to be with but in a long term wise, maybe not...think about it.

[cheekxs]

I think you are a big hypocrite ! You want it all to sound like she was wrong and u are the victim in the whole thing.

You wasnt doing noting right by going after her knowing that she have a boyfriend.
So thats the real first problem. Resolve that by breaking up with her and all others will be resolve!

And all you say freinds told you. maybe it was true but you have it all from gossiping, noting that you have seen with your own eyes.
But whatever she is not yours anyway and have never been! Cause she got her bf !

So what ever you do you are the biggest loser!

[smackie9]

Stop having feelings for her. What the hell did you expect? She was just having a few romps...unprotected ones I might add. You are being a silly twit, just because a girl opens her legs doesn't mean there's love there. Put it back in your pants and tell her it was fun while it lasted, but you are off.


*You were just a piece of sausage to her, and I'm sure she will be sampling more while you are away. She's a skank dude.


I hope that was the slap in the face you needed.

[gabriel289]

Hello every1! Thanks for the advice!

@cheekxs Im not saying that i feel victimised and I know that going after her while she's got a bf isn't the most ethical thing i could have done. It was my mistake to fall in love with her or even like her in that way.... but these things are uncontrollable sometimes. Hence why the name of the thread is "i need a slap in the face".

I think i'll just let it be. As in, i wont tell her anything but if she comes up to me and wants to sleep with me again or flirt with me then ill tell her that it was time to end. This whole situation seems to be a bit stupid!

[joeyraz]

haha, so the verdict for your case is------> Ignore her and get on with your life...she aint good for you anyways buddy. Best of luck!

[joeyraz]

I think you are a big hypocrite ! You want it all to sound like she was wrong and u are the victim in the whole thing.

You wasnt doing noting right by going after her knowing that she have a boyfriend.
So thats the real first problem. Resolve that by breaking up with her and all others will be resolve!

And all you say freinds told you. maybe it was true but you have it all from gossiping, noting that you have seen with your own eyes.
But whatever she is not yours anyway and have never been! Cause she got her bf !

So what ever you do you are the biggest loser!

Hye cheekxs, give the guy a break...we know he made a wrong move and you are clearly disgusted about it but he made a mistake. Plus it is very subjective. From your point of view, he may have started the problem. But on the other hand, the girl could've been more loyal to her current BF....why did she even played along is to no ones guess, probably just to have some fun and and a few romps doesnt matter to her. I think she doesnt care about her r/ship. From what i can see, our friend here did not manipulated her in any sense.

[smackie9]

Hello it takes two to tango here......it's not like he forced her, it was her that went after him anyways, she let it happen...she's a skanky ho that can't keep her pants on. If it wasn't him it sure as sh it gonna be somebody else so cheekxs give it a rest.


BTW shame on you for not wearing protection! You idiot never ever not wear protection, even if they say they are on the pill, you never ever trust them. Just because they say they love you doesn't mean they are not going to be f uckin the guy next door or your best buddy, and if they are the desperate type they can "oops" miss a pill or two and get pregnant. Be more responsible!

[HeartIsAching]

You need to let go. This woman is only going to cause you heartache and pain... she's a cheater. She's shown you that. Expecting her to change for you is rather naive.

When a woman withholds sex and expects her man to just put up with it, it's a foolish notion that her pussy will magically be wonderful enough to keep him from stepping out on her.

When a man gets with a cheater and expects his woman to magically stop cheating, it's a foolish notion that his dick will magically be wonderful enough to keep her from straying.

Just move on. Leave some other dumbass to fall into her trap.

[gabriel289]

Thanks for the advice everybody!

Yup, ill just move on and get on with my life. I'm wondering whether or not it might be a good idea to tell her how i feel about her - though i suppose that wouldn't really amount to much and itl just cause tension. Sometimes silence is the best course of action one can take :-)

Thanks again everyone - i needed to get this off my chest ;-)

[yan]

you need to start forgetting about her.a girl like that is just not worth of your time..enjoy it while it lasts.