there's a new girl

[kdjm]

Hello, so about a month ago my bf at the time dumped me after 3 years without any warning at all. Our relationship was really good but he said he really wanted to focus on work and live single and free for a bit. It's been really hard because since he dumped me he still texts me lots and asks me to hang out a lot. It's been around 5 weeks since we broke up and today i found out that he is seeing someone new. The girl he is seeing is someone he works with and someone he complained about while we were together, he always told me how gross she was :s Now they're seeing each other and he thinks we should all be friends?!?

So pretty much after a 3 year long relationship that was GOOD, he broke up with me and was single for about a month before he started with this new girl. Another weird thing is that today he asked me what i've done with guys since we broke up and after refusing to answer him 5 times I finally just told him that I kissed someone. He was soo mad at me that I kissed someone he refused to continue talking to me. It's really stupid because I know he's probably already slept with this new girl and if hes in a relationship with someone he probably shouldn't be too concerned about what his ex is up to.

So I was wondering if anyone knew what this meant? I'm almost 100% sure that this girl is just a rebound but do you think it will actually last?! And please please please what should I do to move on.. im heartbroken

[brokensoul1]

sounds like he doesnt want you to be seeing someone new as he is jealous/controlling. maybe he was always complaining about her as he secretly liked her. he will soon realise what a mistake he made.
only time will heal but you should just go out and have fun and soon enough you will get over this

[Cerby]

Probably a rebound, and probably won't last. It is totally irrelevant though, if you want to move on you need to cut him out of your life for the next however long it takes. This means no facebook, no texting, no calling, and no hanging out.

[smackie9]

I am very familiar with work related romances. I have been working for a company for 22 years and I have seen a lot. When you work with people everyday, you interact with them you get to know them and you become very fond of them like family and at times sexual attraction develops. At first impressions they may seem unattractive (gross), annoying but as time goes on you get to know them and develop a bond. If you have ever watched the show How I Met Your Mother, there is an episode that focuses on this called the Mermaid Theory, where Marshall sees his new secretary as gross and ugly (compared as a manatee ) but over time she because very attractive (mermaid)......this really does happen irl. So yes at first he probably did find her unattractive, and over time started to like her.

Not all relationship have to end because they went bad, sometimes they just run out of steam and things get stale. That's guys biggest fears is boredom. He just may have felt it was time to move on because he has the urge to have different experiences. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong, these things just happen. Usually the next step in a long term relationship is to get married, and he realized he isn't ready for that any time soon so it is only fair to you that he did end it. So what if this girl is a rebound, sad for her and not for him. He will just move onto someone else or be single afterwards.

The reason for him being jealous? It's obvious he hasn't adjusted to not being your BF completely and still has some emotional attachment. No worried that will fade, and you can help that along with NO CONTACT. You should always do "no contact" after a break up. You have no business knowing what he is doing and he has no business knowing what you are doing. It just makes the transition easier form being in a relationship to single.