I have a weird life.

[Kit]

Hi, I'm new and need some relationship advice. My situation is a bit unusual.

I was sexually abused by older boys when I was a kid and emotionally and physically abused by my mom.

My boyfriend and I started dating when I was 17 and he was 29. He and I are open about everything, so I told him that I'm not monogamous and mostly attracted to women. When we first started getting involved, he pressured me into having sex. I didn't want to, but it felt good at the time and I went along with it because I have trouble saying no. We've been together for 12 years and live together. I have my ladies on the side, and he and I have sex less and less frequently. I assumed he was no longer attracted to me and was too afraid to bring it up. A few years ago he and I dated a girl together as a triad. He became obsessed with her and she got creeped out and said she was only interested in a dating me. We broke up with her.

This broke him. He suddenly identified as asexual. He got really depressed. I was sad and confused and felt rejected by him. I started talking to my best friend online and she said I should look into the local kink scene. I did, and this was a great decision. I've always been into kink, but he wasn't really interested. This allowed me to make a lot of great friends and meet an awesome girl. She was only interested in dating me, not him, and he took this rather poorly after the previous rejection that he still hadn't gotten over. He's been a total bitch to her since she said she won't sleep with him. She's okay with doing kinky things with him, but not interested in sex with men. He then got a girlfriend of his own.

So my kinky lady and I have been together for almost a year now. Things are going great. I finally feel like I've met someone who I am sexually compatible with. She likes to be submissive and to do kinky things. I like to be dominant and do kinky things. Our kinks are compatible. However, she is slightly more clingy than I like and also wants to me monogamous. She says she is clingy because we only see each other a couple days a week and that isn't enough for her. That it would be fixed if we lived together. She would rather live with just me, but is willing to live with the boyfriend too. Boyfriend does not want to live with her and continues to be hostile towards her, while denying that he's jealous.

So, boyfriend and I rent part of my mom's house because it's cheap rent, but we live with her. She continues to be emotionally abusive towards me. I really need to move out for my own sanity. He keeps dragging his feet about moving because it's cheap. I spent nearly all my savings putting him and I through school. Now he's earning enough money to move out, and I can sort of afford it. We need to move, but my girlfriend has said she may not want to be with me anymore if we move without letting her move in too because it, "sends a message" about relationship priorities. So, this whole thing has gotten me really stressed and depressed. I don't know what to do. I would rather live with both of them, but I think they will both make each other miserable under the same roof.

Over the years I've become less and less interested in men and more dominant in bed. The boyfriend is very manly and also unwilling to be submissive in bed. So I still love him and want to be with him, but he and I aren't really sexually compatible anymore. Also, I've been recently questioning my gender identity. I've been dressing more manly and wearing a strapon and it feels really great and natural. I wish I had a real penis. I hate my body. I'm like this stereotypical female. Short and tiny with long hair and huge boobs and a girly voice. It pisses me off. I've started to become really annoyed with men propositioning me. I've only been with two men in my life, and I really don't want to be with any more. So I guess, my question is what do I do? I have to make a decision, but I'm afraid of confrontation and change.

tl;dr I have a boyfriend but I've become a huge dyke, what do I do?

[Kit]

Bumping this. Still looking for advice if anyone has any ideas. Thanks for reading.

[Cerby]

I doubt the validity of this post, but I'll try to be genuine anyways.

Kit, you are no longer in love with your boyfriend, but are unable to move on with this new girl. You have allowed yourself to get emotionally attached to someone "on the side" and are now selfishly trying to have your cake and eat it too. All three of you move in together? Seriously, that is one of the stupidest ideas I have EVER read on this forum in a serious topic.

Your other woman is right, your relationship priorities are bunked, but what she is wrong about is your priority SHOULD be the guy you're living with, and not the girl on the side who is trying to take you into a monogamous relationship with her. So here is what I recommend you set for yourself as far as priorities goes:

1) Dump your boyfriend and remove him from your life, the relationship is over, the love is gone, and it appears to be beyond salvation
2) Move out of your moms house, if she is still abusing you (which you should have walked away from as soon as you were 18) then you need to go now, if you continue to live there, you can only blame yourself for the ongoing abuse.
3) Decide if you really want to be with this girl, or if it is just a case of "Grass is greener on the other side".
4) Life goes on, now your loveless relationship is over and your c*nt of a mother is out of you life, you can now make real, grown up decisions for yourself.

[Graham Berkeley]

...troll...

[KingZ]

She's not a troll, you morons.

[iamaninnocentma]

ohoh, the King got out the wrong side of bed today.