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Thread: Tips to spice up a good but somewhat vanilla sex life?

  1. #1
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    Tips to spice up a good but somewhat vanilla sex life?

    (25y/o F and 28y/o M) Lets just say I have read all the magazines and articles... But nothing really takes it home. 2 year anniversary next month, we have a great relationship, sex is great. Not that it is boring, but I fear it will get to that point sooner than later. We live in a 3 br condo, the kids have their own room so our time alone is after they are asleep. I have done the lingerie and he likes it, but it just gets taken off too quickly. I think the most exciting thing now is that I get in my moods where I like to give really looonnggg, really sexy, really intimate and fun bj's. And yeah, he likes it. But the sex is more or less 2-3 positions. (He's also a big guy at 6'3 and 320lbs, built like a linebacker, which I like and would only want him to lose weight for his health). And every once in a while he likes to get rough which I love. Hand on the neck, rough sex.

    So looking for something others have tried, nothing too crazy as we would be at home. We do have our fun nights out, but I am looking for something that can be added to the weekly sex routine be it 3-4 nights a week. Help is appreciated

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    Try bondage.....

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    Toys? Poppers? Anal? The list is endless.

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    Read some erotica and get a few ideas from the stories. Better still, read it to each other in bed and build up some excitement together. Role play is also fun. Naughty nurse etc. Unless you can't stop laughing (like me haha), in which case it doesn't always work. There are a million and one ideas you can try, including inviting other participants into your bedroom, but i don't recommend that!! Have you discussed this issue with him? Perhaps he has some ideas of his own?

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    Talk to him about your fantasies and ask him about his own. Communication is hot. There may be something he's been wanting to try for a long time.

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    There are two things I love in the bedroom - BDSM and tantric sex, and if possible a combination of the two.

    BDSM is pretty wide ranging, but isn't for everyone (although you'd be surprised at the amount of apparently vanilla people who are titillated by the idea of explicit power play, the popularity of the travesty of a book that is fifty shades stands testament).

    Tantra is basically sex without the emphasis on heart racing, heavy breathing, pumping away shagging. It's a very slow and gentle eroticism that involves exercises and quite slow movements that last hours. Google and books are your friend here, but bear in mind that there's usually a lot of rubbish to wade through in guides to tantric sex - 'positive energy', sacred rituals and crap like that. Anytime "unblocking chakras" is mentioned my eyes glaze over, best to skip though to the sexy stuff. No need to follow it to the letter either, find out what works for you.

  7. #7
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    I get very excited being filmed, by camera or video, either one. One time, I was spanked and it was videotaped and then I saw myself when my partner replayed it on the t.v. monitor. There are many ways. All men have their own g-spot the prostate and if he hasn't tried that, you will enjoy his responses. One thing that is exciting to me is having intercourse while I am being held up on it in the air. It seems your husband could do that...

  8. #8
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    I think your problem is you are too regular. Have intercourse less often for a while. Learn to crave each other. Wait at least a week, but flirt like hell. That will spice things up.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    I have to agree with Indi. Make him chomp at the bit. You will get more than you bargained for when he gets you.

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    Yeah, good tactic man. Start agreeing with Indi, lol.

  11. #11
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    Well, of cause its all about trust and love... But when it comes to sex life I always stick with some teenage games like sex dice or whatever

    It is fun and relaxing) Also, there are plenty of Kamasutra apps (example: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/kamasutra-book/id391272456?mt=8 )with random positions option - this can be exciting

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