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Thread: Young Love at a Cross Roads

  1. #1
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    Young Love at a Cross Roads

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5 years now. We live together and it's like we are married. I am 19 years old, almost 20 and I am starting to feel emotionally torn. I have been with my boyfriend since I was 15, he is the only guy I've ever been with. I love him very much. However, I am finding my self constantly thinking about how I want to experience something different. He is not crazy wild, we do not party, and we don't go out much. We share expenses and vehicles. I have been with him so long that it is no longer exciting. I see see him as being a great husband and a great father to my kids. I am just torn because I want something different. I want to try different things and be around different people. I want to feel appreciated again. I wanted to feel admired. It is just becoming really hard for me to be happy around him when all I can think about is something else. Some other life that I feel I need to be living. However, I am not willing to throw everything I have and love away, for something that I don't know anything about and don't know what I want. Somebody please help me... I'm just so lost right now. He loves me more than anything and I just feel I need to talk this out before I talk to him about it and potential hurt him.

    Thank you!!

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    You've outgrown the relationship, when you're 15 you're a kid, you have no priorities and barely know what you want. Now you're 20, living in the real world, and seeing that there is more than just him out there. You love him, but are no longer in love with him.

    It will break his heart, but it is time for you to move onto other things.
    "All is fair in love and war." - Francis Edward Smedley

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cerby View Post
    You've outgrown the relationship. You love him, but are no longer in love with him.

    It will break his heart, but it is time for you to move onto other things.
    This^ right here. Don't marry him, it will only shred you both.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    Make your decision wisely

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    They pretty much hit the nail on the head.. Five years is certainly a long time. It's going to be devastating for you both, but at the same time, it sounds like you want to live a life that you don't know much about. The single life. One without obligations to care for somebody the way you both probably have had the past five years (wow). It's not so bad... Just takes some getting used to.

    With time, you'll get over your immediate feelings. Just know that you owe it to yourself to live the life you want. And if it is no longer your bf, then so be it.

  6. #6
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    I don't agree with what the other people here have written. That's allright, they have the right to their own views.


    I think you should talk to him about all this. let him know that you want to experience new things, the kind of creative things you want, etc.

    tell him everything. you must know him well by now, you been together long enough to know him. This way when you start doing the things you want to do he is prepared, and he will not be like : " why did you go cross country with your two girl friends without telling me anything ? "

    so he should be prepared. let him know. Also come up with ideas about what would satisfy or interest you. be specific about what kind of things you want in your life !

    hopefully its not anything really bad or illegal. If it's ok stuff, go ahead and do it !

    and if you let him know, then he will have an idea of what you need, and what you are going through.

    let him know clearly that this is not about him, its about you doing things that you want to do in your life.

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