How do I move on from this?

[thehotsung]

I have a problem that I don't believe most guys have experience. I am severely traumatize by women. I have major post traumatic stress when I know that someone is interested in me. I have never been in a relationship because I can't get one to start and it always my fault. I been rejected twice in my life and I have rejected myself more times then I can count. I have been approach by several women including a girl I had a crush on for years and when she finally approach me i couldn't even tell her how I felt about her despite her telling me that she notices me before and was constantly flirting with me. She is the most beautiful college girl I have ever met, and the fact that she is attracted to me seem unreal. Needless to say I never saw her again after that night. It is the most painful thing I have ever experience as depression took over and I nearly failed college. Now I know what it like to be my own worst enemy. She never even knew how I felt about her.The few minutes I had with her felt like I was in a dream.

She wasn't the first girl to approach me, and she soon wouldn't be the last, but every time I got close to another girl, a wall would soon form. I am bless to know that women are attracted to me and some would approach me yet it seem silly that I can't be with someone. It like I got everything handed on a platter and still wouldn't take it. Some of my reaction is really not human. For example, when I get approach by a girl who I am attracted to, my guts response is I say hi and then excuse myself. Other times when I get a signal, smile, wink, I too also excuse myself. And lastly when a girl try to get close to me, I couldn't even look at her in the eye and say hi.

All these things happen in college which was a year ago, and since then I have probably fallen off the straight and narrow path more often than not. I don't know what to do at this point anymore. I'm just incapable of love I guess.

[cheekxs]

How old are you?

And i think maybe you got scared or very deeply hurt by the first or one of your rejections while approaching a girl and it hit you hard cause maybe you wasn't expect it.

I tin you need to go to a psychologist. So hey can help you find the real issue and solution.

Cause its not okay for your love life. And when you get older it can effect a lot in your marriage and kids life.
and if it effect you that much that you cant even reach out to a woman it effect also you to get a girl , so you can be even married.

Maybe you are more nervous than a normal person for rejection of a woman cause of your early experiences.
Or maybe you dont know how to put their rejection into perspective and see it as you are worthless or something.

[cheekxs]

So you act like that to protect yourself...........?... and not to get hurt again?.......

There are things in this world that will have to happen and that will hurt for a while some more then other, and there are good things also that will make you happy.
But its up to us to learn how to deal with all and if you get stock on something its time to get help so you can move on.
Otherwise it will effect you and you will look at every other situation that looks similar ,as the same .

And lose great opportunity's.

[thehotsung]

I pointed out being rejected twice to show how little it mean to me compare to the pain I get from rejecting myself. I don't feel any pain when someone reject me because there are others that want me and I want them.

I was physically, psychologically, and emotional abuse by middle and high school girls. I was constantly tease, humiliated, and I even got slap by two girls who I was deeply attracted to. I also live in an abusive home, and my sister would constantly abuse me.

I been in therapy for a long time now. Doesn't really help much, the therapist seem clueless to help me.

I lost too many great opportunities, feel my dream are crush beneath a mighty hammer. Most pain I get is none of these girl know I want them so bad.

I don't think I'll ever get marry or have kids.

[smackie9]

It's obvious you suffer from an anxiety that possibly stems from how you were treated in your childhood. Women are nurtures, and care givers, our security. Your exposure to the females in your household was a negative one and that is why you have difficulty relating to females as an adult. Over time as a child the only way to protect yourself is to put up a barrier to stop the pain, so when a female gets close to you, it triggers that barrier to come up, by force of habit. Now how to reverse that will not be that easy because for years you have conditioned yourself to protect yourself emotionally from females. This is where a good therapist comes in. They will give you exercises to do to get you out of your comfort zone to expose you to your fear. By doing this you will see nothing bad is going to happen, that the abuse you had experienced as a child is no longer there....it takes time for your brain to relearn this. So therapy is still needed and possibly some short term medication therapy.

Not all therapists are the same. If this one is doing nothing for you, then you are wasting your money and should look for a new one.

[smackie9]

If you wish to discuss this further pm me.

[IndiReloaded]

I was physically, psychologically, and emotional abuse by middle and high school girls. I was constantly tease, humiliated, and I even got slap by two girls who I was deeply attracted to. I also live in an abusive home, and my sister would constantly abuse me.

I been in therapy for a long time now. Doesn't really help much, the therapist seem clueless to help me.

Perhaps you should try a different therapist. Also, be on the lookout for gentle girls. They may be shy, so you'll have to be alert. I think a fiercer type of woman might not be good for you. Listen to your gut about this.

[cheekxs]

Read my post once again! And i asked how old are you?

And i think also if one wants to have change they have to be open ad make effort for it.
i only hear you complain .

If you are in a abusive home you need to get help so to get out of the situation. cause its not helping staying in the same shit
and wants to change.
Look for another therapist. And google what a good therapist is and what it can do for you.
Cause some people sit and think the therapist will solve it all.

While you need to get into action.

Therapy is not just or only sit listing and talk and go home.
A therapist suppose to give you "homework" , like to try to do this and that so for you to progress. and you
have to be able to work yourself also.Cause at the end you need the change and its all up to you
to work on the issues.

[cheekxs]

And your therapist have to be someone you feel comfortable with.
so that you can open up to him/her.

And they can only work for great part with what you give to them.
So if you dont tell them much , they cant help you much.

[cheekxs]

It's obvious you suffer from an anxiety that possibly stems from how you were treated in your childhood. Women are nurtures, and care givers, our security. Your exposure to the females in your household was a negative one and that is why you have difficulty relating to females as an adult. Over time as a child the only way to protect yourself is to put up a barrier to stop the pain, so when a female gets close to you, it triggers that barrier to come up, by force of habit. Now how to reverse that will not be that easy because for years you have conditioned yourself to protect yourself emotionally from females. This is where a good therapist comes in. They will give you exercises to do to get you out of your comfort zone to expose you to your fear. By doing this you will see nothing bad is going to happen, that the abuse you had experienced as a child is no longer there....it takes time for your brain to relearn this. So therapy is still needed and possibly some short term medication therapy.

Not all therapists are the same. If this one is doing nothing for you, then you are wasting your money and should look for a new one.

Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!