Advice

[youngatheart]

Hi.
I'm new here so I hope I'm making this post in the right place.

I was in a relationship with my girlfriend from last year November. I noticed that she was a flirt by nature before we got together but I thought it wouldn't bug me too much. In late January this year, she left her facebook page open on my computer and i discovered heavy flirting with this dude that used to be her neighbour a while back to the point of having pet names for each other like "babe" and so on. When i first discovered about the facebook messages, I didn't confront her about it, instead i waited to see if she would be straight with me at some point. I discovered a bit later that she had given him her phone number and they continued flirting via text till some time in late February when I confronted her and told her that I had known about it for almost a month.

We fought quite a bit and she was very apologetic but I told her that by virtue of how I had found out about that, I would have problems trusting her. We stayed together but have been fighting on and off a lot since then and I have honestly initiated many of them because I have never quite gotten over that incident. It felt like a big betrayal to me even though I knew she was rather flirtatious before we began and know that she loves me a lot. About one month ago, we broke up but have since had sex a few times and hang out a few times too.

Currently we are still broken up. I monitored how she behaved since that incident earlier on in the year and she seems to have reduced the flirtatious part of her quite a bit since then and seems to have changed in that respect. I know that she wants to get back together with me. However, whenever I begin to see some hope and feel like I can trust her again, I remember how I found out about it all, and that she hid it from me and acted normal, without any signs of guilt or remorse for over a month, until I confronted her, and that makes me feel like I will never be able to fully and completely trust her. I have wanted to break up with her because of this trust issue but somehow we always end up back together.

My question is, am I overreacting to that incident and expecting too much when I expect her to always put all guys in their place when they hit on her?? I feel like out of respect for me, she should have drawn the line when the guy began to openly flirt with her and call her pet names that I called her.

And is it unreasonable that my feelings aren't changing despite the fact that I have actually noticed a change in the distance she keeps from other guys? And I want to take that fact into consideration but I just cannot forget particularly how I found out about that incident early in the year and the fact that she wasn't going to reveal that to me.

Any answers and/or advice will be sincerely appreciated and any questions regarding the information above are welcomed. Thanks.

[LoveBobo]

First of all, no, I don't think that you are unreasonable in expecting her to reject other men's advances, she is yours and no one elses, simple as that!

On the issue of trust, it will always be in the back of your mind so you need to think about all other aspects of your relationship. If you say that she has changed then maybe she is worth another shop provided that you like her enough.

Failing that, you can just stay as you are and "hang" out and have sex, a casual thing

[haxan]

You had dated her for 2 months and discovered some 'flirting' on Facebook with an old neighbor? Your relationship was pretty new, and your definition of flirting seems pretty all inclusive. Babe is not a pet name. If you're that controlling and jealous, you're probably going to lose her at some point. That's my .02.

[fuel2012]

In my opinio flirting is something you cant stop on gilrs they do it all the time some by being nice and some by just sassy and thats ok as long as she knows her point but that named calling does not sound good... but then agian your relations was to short c'mon 2 months give this chick anothe chance and see where this goes who know you might be the one losing something big....

[rappelz]

This need to yourself decide, if you want to together with her then tolerance and guide her, if you don't want to be with her, then decisive apart, it is so simple.