Is it doomed?

[Tech]

Hi. This is slightly difficult but I hope I can explain it.

I met someone but we live across the other side of the pond. Was planning to meet each other in a couple of weeks time as I am heading over the pond for some business etc...

anyway, we have been almost always in contact since we met online (I know... online never works. believe me...been there many times!). By either cell or email or webcam.

all has been fine but she is in a difficult living situation. She lives with an ex partner who she has a kid with. it is definately over and apperently she had a "talk" this past weekend about the situation. she hasnt slept in the bedroom for 2 years. The list goes on.

she also is a GM of a hotel and works all hours which isnt good. I'm trying and done my best to get her to reduce her hours for the sake of a potential relationship but for her future, kid and health. of course I "know nothing".

I always wait up real late to at least try to get a chance to talk to her etc.... but as of late its never been the case because she gets home late or whatever or is too tired. Again, I sacrafice my time and re-organise things just to make sure there is no "pressure" on her or whatever...and as a man, I do what I can.

she also doesnt know much about love she admitted. she "sees" a future with me and hasnt had anyone care about her like I do (apperently). she has always been "cold hearted" as she doesnt know much about feelings or closeness, its how she is and her upbringing.

needless to say, it doesnt help me as I always write and speak from the heart and invest alot but appears she doesnt seem to invest that much nor does she know how to express her feelings and she always says that she is doing all she can.... but im stuck with having to appreciate and understand even though I dont feel that "loved" or "wanted" or "appreciated". does that make sense?

we had a second argument yesterday with me being upset. obviously im not allowed to feel the way I do in regards to the fact that she doesnt communicate much as she is always busy and says "she does" when she doesnt or its just one liners - she then argues that I dont get how busy she is.
well I am busy too. infact hell of a lot than her but I make the effort (I always do in everything for every single woman ive tried to date or whatever).

so, not sure really what to do here. me being the better person or speaking aloud, I think she should just focus on her and her kid and forget about being in a relationship that she apperently wants because she doesnt get the time as it is. so really, how is she able to be in a relationship if she doesnt get the time or put in the effort?

for the first time, I felt someone really wanted me for me as it NEVER happens where I am etc.... (lets not get into it) however, I miss that fundemantal importance of the meaning of a relationship and so on. (i.e love, connecting, assurance)

thanks

[oldskool83]

live across the other side of the pond

FAIL i stop reading after this. 25 miles or 1 hour which ever comes 1st man. u can find a girl in that amount of distance somthing wrong with you.

[Tech]

so if i cant find someone "local" then there is something wrong with me? what if there is something wrong with them? ever thought about that??
ever thought about that there are some men who dont cheat, sleep around, are loyal and honest, who dont play games whilst others do? ever thought about that?

[Boisdevie]

ever thought about that there are some men who dont cheat, sleep around, are loyal and honest, who dont play games whilst others do?

Ever thought about how nice it would be to get a girlfriend who you could get to see regularly? Instead of some woman who lives a gazillion miles away.
Is it doomed? Yep. Absolutely.

[Tech]

you completely missed the point. wow... no wonder guys are pathetic and not getting it

answers from women please

[Boisdevie]

you completely missed the point. wow... no wonder guys are pathetic and not getting it

Are we going to throw our toys out of the pram because we're not getting the answer we wanted dearie?
Well listen dickhead, this pathetic guy is going to have lots of sex tomorrow - because I have a GF who doesn't live a gazillion miles away. I don't have to spend hours on some expensive transatlantic flight - just jump in the car. So who's pathetic now?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Tech, if you can't find someone in your country, there's a problem with you.

[oldskool83]

yes and his dipshit aint driving more then anhour....know why, cuz a girl aint gonna drive more then ahour to see me lol. you can be all them things you stated...i can be them all do. problem is i am not gonna be a love sick fool and buy plan tickets to see a chick...dipshit down the street does it to see her GF in georgia....and when shes home guess who is at his house...his ex that lives in the same town.

you wanna live with that be a door mat and think the girl is just gonna love you true forever....nope, she had a pussy and there are dicks around and yours is gone soooner or later your dicks is gonna get missed and well replaced.

when i was a dating site tons of girls msged me, wanting to hang out...problem is none of them cunts even bothered to looke where i lived. my msg back would be hey you might be great but you live 4 hours away.

buzzkill...fukit get sum1 closer. go to a dif town or somthing.

[Cerby]

Tech,

All this "other" advice aside. It is doomed because she doesn't care as much as you do, you're investing more than she is. Whether you live 10 miles or 1000 miles apart, that is usually a reason to end a relationship.

[rappelz]

hey,you completely missed the point.