About to Break-Up Need Help

[Disturbed.sad]

Hi,

I am in a dilemma and need your help to get out of this problem. Please take 5 min to read the problem and help me out.

I have been in a relationship since 2006 and we were in the same city till 2010. 2 years ago I got my job and moved into a different city. Last year my girlfriend completed her studies but was unable to get a job. So she was a bit frustrated. At that time we used to have some small regular fights as she refused to receive whatever I said to her be it good or bad. Her parents were also not much supportive at that time. She used to complain sometimes that I was stressing her out and she was not getting any happiness from me. But I thought that she is saying so as she is frustrated and this would get right as soon as she gets a job.
However she always used to say that she loves me very much and wants to marry me. In the last 1 year we would have met for just 10-12 days but in those days we were very happy, had made a lot of love & even lost our virginity.
On July 2012 I discovered that she had been in a relationship with another guy since Aug 2011. She had been lying to me since then. When I asked her about the truth she disclosed her each & every black secret and promised me that she would leave that guy. But in the last one year they have spent a lot of time together. 2 days before I discovered about her relationship she even had sex with him. But even through out the year she used to say me "I am not feeling very lonely. Please marry me as soon as possible"
As of today after almost a month has passed she has got no contacts with the guy. She broke up with him and wants to come back to me. She says that "I know I have done a mistake. I have realized my mistake. I beg you please accept me. I'll do whatever you say. I''ll give you a lot of love. Please accept me."
I was in deep love with her and always wanted to marry her. However now when I think about the ways she used to lie to me the whole last year I start hating her. I have lost my old love for her. I am unable to concentrate on my work at all.

So please let me know If I accept her can I be happy with her my whole life.
Is it possible for any lover to forget such a betrayal and to love her girlfriend in the way he used to do.
Please let me know shall I continue to be in relationship with her or not.

[VincenzoG91]

It's possible for some people to forgive that level of betrayal, but you are the only person who can decide if you can forgive her. It's perfectly reasonable if you can't get past this. Her behavior was dishonest, disloyal, and selfish. Maybe she is capable of becoming a better person, but if you give her a chance, you will be struggling with doubt for months and maybe years to come. Especially if she is still living in the same city as him, and you are still living in a different city. The best shot at moving onward with this relationship would be if she moves to your city and moves in with you, and you give her a clean slate from this day forward. That means that you can't throw her cheating in her face every time you have a disagreement about unrelated stuff, like who should do the dishes tonight. But if she cheats again, it has to be completely over and no more chances.