Going so well then say says she is confused;

[blmg911]

i will try and keep this as short as possible, basically a few months ago i worked at a nightclub and a new girl started we instantly hit it off and a few weeks later i told her i liked her on a night out what i want in life, family-wise, realationship-wise etc and she was sooo shocked that we was similar. a few more weeks when by maybe 4 weeks and we was all good before i went on a lads holiday.

Whilst away she sent me a text saying she thinks she couldn't do it all anymore, i was hurt and upset although we wasn't official yet we was only seeing where it was going we grow quite close and with work we spent alot of time together and slept at my house quite abit; i was shocked that she had said this and pied it off as her been insecure cos i was away. i told her not to worry etc and that i wasn't going to let her walk off from something speical but she wasn't very responsive; i enjoyed the rest of my holiday and spoke to her when we got back she explained she didn't know what she wanted in life and she wasn't happy with her life and didn't like to talk about how she felt; however when i later found out she'd gone to another guys house to hang out when i was away and nothing happened i told her i was disappointed in her and was going to walk away.

she told me to sleep on it and clearly didn't want to lose me; the following week i asked her numerous about of times to come back after work but she would say no i want to sleep at mine and be on my own at the moment; this was frustrating as we would kiss etc but she wouldn't stay over. a few days later we sleep together and had an amazing night and i figured she was going to stay over but as it got later she left, and i shouted at her saying that it wasn't fair on me to have such a nice time with me then leave me alone to feel like shit, i felt asif she wasn't making enough effort anymore.

the next week which is this recent week she would ignore me for shouting at her and then we started to get back on at work kissing etc on the sly and it felt a little better. However she still wouldn't come over to sleep and didn't see me as much; Again i asked her what was up and she repeated herself by saying she didn't know what she wanted, she hated her job (other day job) and other people around her are doing so much but she feels lost and not knowing where she is going or what she is doing.

Yesterday i surprised her by getting the day off from us both and had a box of night in treats (movies, sweets, blanket etc) she was shocked but has a weird thing about accepting gifts and ppl doing to much for her she stated that she couldn't do it as it didn't feel as though she had planned it and she was planning to go to work and it was organised it was too spur of the moment; She then went on to say she couldn't do it all anymore and she again didn't know what was wrong with her she sed the typical it isn't you its me;

We kissed and she kissed me back but both agreed that it wasn't the right thing to do, she explained the timing was wrong and that if it was a year earlier then it would of been perfect (this is when she was with her EX). Her ex will be back from america in a few weeks and i really don't know why this has happened it could by anything. I can tell she likes me and wants me but why isn't she letting herself be with me?

she is going away for 3 weeks tonight so i wont see her for 3 weeks but will it be any better when she is back will she realise she wants me or what? please help me it's driving me crazy

[cheekxxs]

if she told u its over, let it go. or get hurt !

[Johnathan Gr]

Most of the people around us have similar problems. My advice isn't going to be something like "Just forget her", or "There is nothing you can do". You next and possibly last move on the matter (in my opinion), must be something you decide on your own. However assuming some help from me wouldn't hurt, here is what I think:

I think she is emotionally immature and from what you say, she must be pretty young. It isn't easy to force someone into growing up! But you post shows to us you are a person who knows what he wants, and since the one thing you need at the moment is her, you'd better try to work your thoughts away, perhaps go out and meet new people. I usually prefer letting other people freely make their choices, and since she chooses to not stay with you, even after you showed such devotion and love towards her, I assume you should let her go!

However, as I mentioned above, the choice is all yours to make! If you feel you can get her to come back to you, and STAY with you, you should definitely go for it!

Best of luck my friend! (Remember her way of thinking isn't the same to yours! What seems obvious to you, is probably not to her!)

[smackie9]

There are a lot of factors here, the age (young), working in a night club, those things are against you. I worked in a night club for 4 years, and there is no room for a committed relationship when being young, and surrounded by attractive people partying every night. Marriages broke up while I worked at the club.

Either A she isn't into a full time relationship, because well she is young, attractive and can have her pick of men, or B you are just OK but not the one she wants to settle down with. or both. So don't bother with an undecided girl. Tip: stay single and enjoy the fresh fruit that walks in the door at the club.....it's there for the picking.